If Bella hadn't jumped
by Blueberry-Pie2
Summary: Set right before Bella jumps off the cliff. Alternate ending to New Moon. What if Edward came back?
1. Chapter 1

**(I looked through the first chapters after I'd published the last one, and I thought that it was just too embarrassing to be left untouched. I've tried to edit it as good as I'm able to, but I'm still not fully satisfied with the first chapters)**

**Author's note: **

**Please take your time to review – I'd love to hear what you think. And please tell me if something is different from the book!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight saga. **

The velvet black waves were rolling under me with an unmerciful sound. They looked enormous, even though I was standing several feet above. The dark water looked cold and abandoned, as though I was an uninvited guest. The waves were terribly unfamiliar, but I didn't care. Nothing could make me change my opinion on that point. I was just seconds away from hearing his velvet voice. Everything was worth that. I _needed_ to hear him inside my head. For a few precious moments, I would pretend as though he cared about me, as though he wanted me.

I took a deep breath, and prepared for the final jump. But the hesitation hit me as my foot touched the hillside. It had been a mistake to look down – the water was so far beneath that it terrified me. To the best of my abilities, I tried to not think about the fall. I tried to focus on the fact that he was so close.

But just as I was going to take the last step off the cliff, someone grabbed my wrist from behind. I reluctantly turned around.

"Bella! I told you, we'll go cliff diving some other day! What were you thinking? A storm's coming up!" Jacob sounded angry, but in his voice was still something gentle, like velvet.

I opened my mouth to reply, but he put one finger on top of my lips. "Don't you see?" he pointed his fingers towards the black water beneath us. "This is no good weather for cliff diving. And did you have to jump from the top?" His voice turned very gentle in the last sentence and a small smile appeared on his lips.

His presence surprised me; I hadn't expected to be found.

"How did you find me?" I wondered.

"You weren't at the house anymore," he explained. "I guessed that you would go here, it seemed like you."

And then, a thing I hadn't thought about before struck me. "But, but…" I started. "Victoria." The four syllables made me shudder.

He hesitated. "I know, Bells." He paused. "She… We lost her." His voice tuned out, but then he quickly continued. "I'm so sorry Bella, next time we'll get her. I promise."

I nodded, but inside the fear was a fact. She could be anywhere by now, near my dearest and beloved, threatening to tear them apart. Would I always live with the constant terror of that she one day would get to me, in a way or another? At least one person was saved from Victoria's rage – at least that was something. He wasn't threatened from Victoria's rage…

"But Bella, did you have to jump now?" There was humor in his voice now, but I didn't think it was funny, since the second realization now hit me. I wouldn't hear Edward; I wouldn't have my hallucinations, because Jacob had stopped me.

An expected rage filled me, but it was hard to be angry with such a lovely and caring person as Jake next to me. But I still couldn't help the feeling that came rushing inside me. Edward. Every time I thought his name, the aching hole in my chest threatened with sucking my entire body up. It got hard to breath, but I managed to in- and exhale. I wasn't angry with Jacob, I was mad at myself for not jumping earlier. If I'd had, I would've heard his velvet voice by now. The thought made the hole grow. If I had jumped a little earlier, we would be united now.

He saw that I changed in a way – he saw how my gaze turned dark, how my hands became fists and how the knuckles went white, and also how my eyes turned shiny.

"B – Bella," he started. "Bella, what's wrong? Did I – Did I do something? I'm sorry Bella I…" He seemed so anxious, and it hurt to know that I was the one making him like that. It felt as if everything hurt.

I looked up at his face, and he must've been surprised to see the angry look that embellished my face. But then the tears came, those damn tears. They rushed down my blushing cheeks, and Jacob embraced me. He whispered calming words in my ears, and the warmth from his body was pleasant. But I noticed confusion in his voice, and I couldn't blame him from being baffled.

I cried silently against his shoulder, I almost didn't reach up because he had become so tall.

After minutes, or maybe more, he asked me:

"Bella, why are you crying?"

And I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth, even though I'd told Jacob everything. It was embarrassing, I didn't want to admit that I risked my life to hear Edward, and it hurt much to talk about Edward when Jacob was present.

Instead, I just quickly wiped my face and muttered something about the wind blowing into my eyes. I knew he wouldn't believe me, since I was such a bad liar, but it was worth a try.

Jacob, of course, saw through me. "Bella," he started suspiciously, "What's wrong?"

I felt guilty for not telling Jacob, but I didn't want too. It was too private. Nobody but me knew how I'd heard Edward's voice the recent weeks.

Jacob seemed okay with that I didn't want to tell him. He just nodded. It was a huge relief. I didn't know how I'd done if he hadn't calmly accepted my request to ask. I was very grateful, he was being so understanding.

"Did you really have to jump from the top?" Jacob asked me with a laugh.

I blushed. "I wanted to…"

He laughed again. "It's good you're the same old Bella." But then the humor in his voice turned serious. "Bella, I – I know that it's still him… But… I still want to try." His hair blew in the storm, and he put his hands on my shoulders.

At first, I didn't see what was happening. But when he slowly and carefully leaned against me, I saw what was going to happen. And I also realized that I wanted it too – I wanted Jacob to kiss me. I wanted to know how it felt to have his soft lips on mine, the warmth was so inviting – I was cold.

At first his lips just brushed gently across mine, but then they saw their real target. His lips were warm and soft, just as I'd imagined. It was nice with a different kind of kiss, I was so used to it being cold lips pressed against mine.

His hands lifted from my shoulders, and found their place in my hair. I let my arms caress his neck, his warmth were just the right temperature for it not being too cold for me since the storm threatened if I would leave his arms.

Too late, I realized that what I was doing was stupid and mean. I wasn't in love with Jacob – my real love wasn't present. I would hurt Jacob, badly, if it continued, because I didn't love him. I loved him as a brother, I wasn't _in_ love with him, because I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with _him_, and that would never change.

I quickly pulled away, and the look on Jacob's face set an incredible pain free inside of me.

I took one step back, and immediately, the unmerciful storm grabbed me. The wind was so cold and strong, and I begun to freeze.

"Why?" he wondered in a hurt tone. "Bella, give me a chance, I know I can make you forget him."

I sighed. "No you can't Jacob, no one can." No one would ever make me forget him, no one.

"Bella – Bella, I love…" But I interrupted him quickly.

"Don't say it! Don't!" The voice I used was full of sadness, like almost everything else in the entire world.

"But I do Bella! I do!" he almost yelled. "Every time you go away you take a piece of me with you! I'm soon out of pieces," he added with a laugh, but there was nothing funny in the way he laughed.

My mouth opened, but I didn't have anything to say. I just wanted Jacob as a friend, none of his love explanations, and I hated the fact that it was impossible. Jacob would always want more, and it hurt to know that I never could give him that. I'd given my heart to someone else.

"He _has_ left Bella! He won't come back, I think he's showed that quite clearly."

The pain that appeared after his words was greater than any pain I'd ever felt. And the worst part was that I knew he was true.

Without my permission, more tears found their way down my cheeks.

Edward was _gone_ and he wouldn't come back. Just the thought made it impossible to breath. I started to sob, and too loudly.

"It can't hurt to hope," I whispered, and then it all burst out. A million more tears started to stream.

Jacob was stunned, he opened his mouth, and then he threw his big arms around me for the second time. I noticed it in the way he was stroking my back soothingly, he _did_ care.

This time, I didn't care about that Jacob might take advantage of the situation. I was so hurt. But the worst part was that the words had come from Jacob, and because of that, it felt like a betrayal.

He mumbled that he was sorry in my hair, but I almost didn't hear it thanks to my loud sobs. Jacob's voice was full of grief, and I hated to hear him like that.

Why was everything so miserable? I couldn't remember one really happy moment that had happened the last couple of months, if I didn't count with some of Jacob's and my meetings.

I didn't think I'd cried as much at the same time as I did then, my cheeks weren't big enough to collect all the tears; it was a river down my face. And I couldn't do anything about it either, because I missed him so much. He was in my head all the time, and it hurt so much, it was an indescribable pain. My body ached to be in his arms, and when Jacob was holding me it reminded me of his embrace, the embrace that made me complete.

Surprisingly, the tears came to an end. I didn't want to look into a mirror, afraid of what I might find there. It hurt to blink because my eyes were so swollen.

"I'm here Bella," Jacob whispered. But _he_ wasn't there, my only wish. "Do you want to get away from here? Isn't it a bit cold for you?" he asked, using the same gentle voice as before. I was grateful for his kindness.

I nodded silently, and let him put his arm around my shoulder. He was warm, and it felt nice. He softly kissed my forehead, and I let him. I couldn't find the strength to say no.

"Do you want to go to Emily's?" he whispered. I shook my head in reply. "Do you want me to drive you home?"

I nodded, I wanted to be at home. I could handle Charlie as long as I was able to crawl under the covers of my warm bed.

He let go of me, and took my hand instead, as we went to his car. It felt better in a strange way.

I knew what it would have looked like to people who saw us, a happy couple going on a walk. But they didn't know the reminders of the tears in my face – the red swollen features – and that I was desperately in love with another person than the boy who was holding my hand.

The drive home was silent, and I was satisfied with it. I was exhausted, and I didn't have the energy to talk. The tension was different between us, now that Jacob knew that my heart still belonged to him. I felt sorry for him, because I could never give him what he wanted. If he hadn't entered my life in the first place, I might have loved Jake, but that wasn't the case. My heart would always belong to _him_, and nobody else. It was futile to hope anything different.

Would I ever love anybody but him? I thought to myself. Would I grieve his abandonation for the rest of my life? I shuddered at the thought – I couldn't imagine a life without him. In a way, I was still hoping that he would return. That he still loved me, that he still _wanted_ me.

I slowly realized that what I'd been trying to avoid was beginning to reach me. I was thinking about him all the time, just what I'd been trying to stay away from. I didn't care about the hopeless pain that filled me each time his name reached my thoughts, because the only person I wanted to think about was him. Ed… I stopped myself instantly. _Everything but his name, everything but that…_

When I returned home, Charlie was situated in front of the TV.

"Hi, Bells," he greeted me with as I closed the door after me.

"Hi," I mumbled half-heartedly.

"How was Jake?" he asked me as I wiped the last tears away from my face.

"Good," I answered.

"You didn't meet Billy did ya?" He turned his face from the TV to meet my gaze.

"No." I looked down at the floor, I didn't want him to see me swollen face. I didn't want the unnecessary questions. I just wanted to cry and grieve in my room.

"'Key. Hey, were you planning on doing dinner? I was thinking about ordering pizza…"

I sighed in relief. "Pizza's good." I wouldn't have to cook, that was good. Cooking, I really wasn't in mood for doing such a thing.

"I'll call then." He said to himself as I went to my room.

I entered my room, and it was just as I left it. A pile of dirty clothes rested on the floor, and took up almost the entire floor area.

With a sigh I went to the bed and lay down, closing my eyes. The events had been so painful that it was hard to mark it in words. Everything had reminded me of his abandonation. All I wanted was to have his voice in my head, to hear his rage, to really believe that he cared about me, that he cared if I stayed alive or not. It hurt to know that he didn't care about me anymore, and that he never would.

I looked through the memories that I had of him in my mind, again and again, as I lay on the bed. Deep down, I knew that it would only hurt more. I knew that it was best to not even picture him in my mind, it was better that way – it would hurt less.

But at that moment, nothing mattered anymore. I didn't care about the boundaries I had created so that the pain would be more bearable. The future was another problem that I didn't have the strength to think about today.

Charlie and I had dinner in silence. I think that he must have noticed that something was wrong with me. Of course, I'd been silent and unhappy a lot the past months, but it had been a long time since that. Since Jake and I had started to hang out, I had started to talk during the meals. And I knew that he had seen me smile at least once. If he saw something, he didn't comment it.

I ate my pizza slowly – it got cold before I'd even finished a quarter. But I wasn't hungry. I offered Charlie the rest of my pizza, and he gladly accepted.

After dinner, I watched TV with him for a while. My eyes were on the screen, but not my mind. I was going through the day's happenings into my head.

I went up to my room early, and told Charlie goodnight, I was planning on going to bed early. He didn't object, he nodded and then turned his eyes to the TV-screen. An important game probably aired – when we watched together he'd cried of joy and booed at the referee's judgments.

The walk to my room seemed longer than it was, maybe because I was tired. Crying could be exhausting, and in my case it had been.

Before I opened the door to my room, I felt the presence of someone. It was unfamiliar to me, who could be in my room? Charlie was downstairs watching TV, it couldn't be him. I could here the TV from where I was. Before I had the chance to get afraid, I opened the door slowly.

I had been right, there was a person in my room, but it was dark. I could only see the figure of a man standing beside my bed. His hands rested relaxed down his side, but they still seemed stiff somehow. He was staring down at the floor, but when I entered, he looked up.


	2. Chapter 2

When I saw his face, I forgot my ability to breath. My heart took an extra beat as I looked into the butterscotch eyes I could so easily drown in, Edward. He was here, in the very room. I couldn't believe what I saw; it had to be another of my hallucinations.

All I wanted was to run forward and take my place in his arms, and stay there forever. But it was as if my feet were glued to the floor, I couldn't move even though it was all I wanted to do.

He smiled the crooked smile awkwardly, and took one insecure step forward. He was so much more beautiful than I'd remembered him.

"Hi," he said quietly, it was almost as if he asked me a question.

His exclamation made me understand, this wasn't a hallucination. This was Edward, my Edward. The _real_ Edward. My heartbeat was so quick, as it would fall out from my body.

But I didn't comprehend, why had he come here? Wasn't he the one who had left me? I didn't understand at all. But when I had seen him, it was almost as the hole in my body had healed. It was all of a sudden so much easier to breath, but I didn't notice it too much since it was very hard to focus on such a thing as breathing when _Edward_ was only a few feet in front of me. But at the same time, I was confused. Was he really back?

I was only slightly aware of the fact that he took another step towards me, I was drowning in his eyes again. They were so beautiful that it almost hurt to look into them. I barely noticed the liquid that had started to fill my eyes. A tear rolled down my cheek, and Edward quickly sauntered forward to wipe it away.

"Bella," he whispered my name. It felt like a song to me, a good song. I didn't want the moment to end.

But I still couldn't understand why he had returned. Would he leave? It hurt to only consider it, I loved him so much. It had taken such a long time to even think about getting over him that I wasn't sure if I could survive another abandonation.

He whispered my name again, just a little bit louder. I felt as if I would faint.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't bring myself to utter a word. What would I say? I was just so happy that he was here, but I wasn't sure if it showed. I didn't move, all my feelings were locked inside my head.

His hand slowly caressed my cheek, even though his hand was cold, my skin was warm from his touch.

Another tear found its way down my cheek, he wiped it away again with a gentle motion.

"Don't cry Bella," his hand moved from my cheek to my hand and took it in his very gently.

"Why did you leave me?" I asked, so quiet I almost didn't hear it myself. The tone was full of sadness.

He didn't answer. He just took my other hand and sighed.

I shed more tears, he was here and he was real. Nothing else mattered. It was just me and him, no one else.

A long silence followed, and it was nice. It was nice to just feel his hands in mine, to feel him so close to me, to almost be able to inhale his scent. I closed my eyes, the silence felt like music in my head. Was he really back? I opened my eyes again, to see if he had disappeared. But he was there. My gaze was on his face all the time, there weren't words to describe his beauty.

He opened his mouth once or twice to say something, but changed his mind.

I wanted to stay in that moment, forever and ever. And never leave his side. If he left again, I would follow him whether he wanted it or not. I had no choice – he was my life and would always be.

When he dropped my left hand and pulled me into his arms, the hole was almost gone. I cried quietly against his shoulder. His scent was just as I'd remembered it, I inhaled the best smell in the world.

"I will never leave you again," he whispered with his lips on my head. "Will you please take me back, Isabella? My life has been so miserably without you, I can't live without you. Will you please take me back?"

The question almost felt as an insult, of course I would take him back. I loved him so much. Didn't he understand that I hadn't had a life when he had been gone? The only thing that kept my will to live alive was Jacob. Without him, I didn't know what I would have done.

I looked up at his inhumanly beautiful face. "Of course I will take you back, of course. I love you."

He smiled, but it was a sad smile. "I love you more, more than you can ever imagine."

He kissed my forehead, he was so gentle, and I couldn't believe that I was, finally, in his arms. If I had known that this moment would come when he'd left me, I wouldn't have been so miserable. I would've had something to look forward too, something worth living for, something worth fighting for.

"But, do you love me?" I asked, confused. Hadn't he left me because he didn't love me, because his feelings had changed?

"Bella, I love you very, very, much. All I want is you, there aren't enough words in the world to describe my love to you."

His words made more tears run from my cheeks. He really loved me, he really, truly, did. If he did, nothing else mattered. And if he even felt half as much as I felt about him, I would be good with that, because I loved him so much.

I don't know how many times he told me how much he had missed me. And each time he told me, I felt like crying, he described just the way I had felt when he had been gone. But the last months were gone inside my head. It didn't matter; it didn't matter at all now that he was here.

"My life was nothing without you Bella, nothing. I've missed you so much," he paused. "Will you take me back, please?" he pleaded.

I couldn't believe how he could ask that question, of course I would take him back. I would always take him back, no matter what he did.

"My life hasn't been very exciting without you either," I said. "I've missed you, so much. I can't live without you Edward. Never leave me again, please. I don't know if I _can_ be separated from you again."

His lips turned into a thin line, his grip loosened around me and he took one step back and looked deeply into my eyes.

What was he doing? If he left again, I didn't know what I would do. I wouldn't want to live. I would die if he left now, if he left there was nothing worth living for anymore. Not even Charlie, or Jacob. I wouldn't survive without him now that I knew that he had been here.

"Don't go," I pleaded. My feet were still were glued to the ground against my will. "Please, please, don't go."

"I don't deserve you," he answered harshly. "I don't deserve you Isabella, I don't. I don't know why I returned here." He turned around.

A feeling you couldn't describe with words filled my body. I could feel my legs fold under me. He was leaving, again. This time, I wouldn't make it. I wouldn't make it through without him. I had to follow him. Every little cell in my body ached to be in his arms. How could the world be so cruel, why was he taken away from me again?

Suddenly, something in my body saw what was going to happen. He was leaving again. And it was as if the glue under my feet disappeared at once. It was as if it never had been there, and after that, everything happened so quickly.

"Don't!" The tears filled my eyes again, I had cried so much.

He sighed. "I – I love you too much to leave. I love you, Isabella. But I have to, I'm just making your life more difficult than it already is."

"Do _not_ leave!" He was surprised by the sudden rage in my voice – the sentence was almost a scream.

But I didn't care, because I would do anything to make him change his mind, to make him realize that he was my world.

"But Bella, this is the best way for you…"

"_NO_! _No_, it is not. My life is _you_, _you_ Edward. No one else. If you want to make me happy, then stay. That's all I'm asking for. Just stay…" The fury slowly increased, and disappeared in the last sentence.

He opened his mouth in amazement – it was obviously not what he had expected to hear from me. "I," he paused. "I – then, then I won't leave." The last words were a whisper, but they were clear enough for me to hear.

His words made me cry harder, and I sobbed into his chest with his arms wrapped around me. I was safe with him.

But I was angry with him too, how could he say such a stupid thing as that he didn't deserve me? _I_ was the one who didn't deserve _him_ if anyone shouldn't deserve something. I knew that he was so plainly good, but I still didn't understand. If he was so good, then why had he left me? If he'd known what a wreck he'd been leaving behind, he had to know, then why had he left me in the first place?

My sobs went louder as I thought about him, and that he was so close.

I couldn't explain the joy that filled me when he went and closed the door. It had to mean that he would stay, that he didn't want Charlie to hear us. I loved him so much, he had finally returned. The last months didn't matter, because he was here. I could wait an eternity for him to come. I prayed silently in my head that he wouldn't leave, and deep down inside, I knew he wouldn't.

I looked deeply into his eyes – they were so penetrating and beautiful. But he seemed very insecure.

"I don't know where to begin," he said quietly, while looking down at his hands.

The gesture upset me, why wouldn't he let me see his face? Why would he take such a thing away from me? Now that he was here, all I wanted was to look into his eyes and see all the small details in his stunning face.

"Please don't leave again, please," I pleaded.

He smiled, very awkward. "Bella, I can't leave you again. I can't be away from you. I can never leave you again. I _love _you."

"You have no idea how good that one felt to hear," I whispered.

I tightened my grip around him. He sighed, and inhaled the smell of my hair.

I didn't know how long we stood in that position. But it felt like a miracle to be in his arms again, after all the time we'd been separated. It could have been seconds or hours. But all of a sudden, he loosened the grip he had around me and looked down at my face.

"How," he started, "how have you been? Without me, I mean. Do you want me to leave, I understand if you want me to. I won't complain."

His statement stunned me, hadn't I told him I didn't want him to leave?

"I do _not_ want you to leave! I won't _let_ you leave! Why are you saying such stupid things? Why? I_ love_ you Edward! Can't you see that? I love you so much, I can't think straight if you're not with me. Without you, my life hasn't had a meaning. It has been a hell without you, like a big black hole ripping me apart."

"I – I didn't know you felt that way, I left you because I thought you would be happier without me."

"I've been anything but happy without you Edward." I said.

He sighed, and kissed me carefully on the lips. Butterflies filled my stomach and I forgot how to breathe again. It was hard to believe what was happening. It was as if I still didn't understand that he was with me. But, finally, we were together. It almost felt like a fairy tale to be reunited.

"My life hasn't been anything without you either, Bella." I took his hand in mine, and patted his palm with my other hand. "I will never, ever, leave you again, unless that's what you want."

I looked terrified up at his face. "I do _not_ want you to leave me! You are not allowed to leave me, if you want to know." The crooked smile decorated his face. "I – I've been so unhappy without you, you can't even imagine."

He mumbled something, but then he said something clearer. "If that's your wish, I will obey," and I felt his lips in my hair.

I sighed in happiness. Everything was so perfect, now that he was with me. Everything had a point. But I still had questions, and not few of them. But they would have to wait. I wouldn't ruin this perfect moment. But I didn't get to enjoy it longer, since Edward was the one to interrupt.

"Don't you have school tomorrow, Love?" he asked.

The question caught me off guard. Why would he ask such a question?

"Um, it's spring break Edward."

"Oh," he answered. "But aren't you tired? It's almost half past eleven."

"What?" I asked, surprised.

Had the time gone so quickly? I remembered that I'd entered my room at about ten, maybe half past nine. I hadn't really thought about the time, it was such an unimportant thing now when Edward was back.

But I didn't want to sleep, ever again. Not when he was here. I didn't want to do anything than be with him. Nothing else mattered. Just Edward, just Edward and me, that was everything that would ever matter.

But at the same time, I felt guilt. Because I couldn't abandon everyone now that I'd practically had become normal again. Charlie, Jacob, and Angela and Mike who'd forgiven me. But at the same, the only person I wanted to be with at the moment was Edward. And I was quite sure that that status wouldn't change.

"You should sleep, Love," he whispered.

I sighed, could I do anything but obey when he asked me? I would do anything for him, _anything_.

I nodded slowly. But was Charlie still down there? I asked him, because I knew that he would be hearing him if that was the case.

"Yes, but I think he'll go to bed soon."

When I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get dressed for the night, it felt as if he'd taken half of myself with him when I left. I felt terribly empty. I hurried as much as I could, but it still felt as if I was very slow. At least I thought I was too slow, because I just wanted to be with him. But knowing that he was only a few feet away and that I would see him in only a few minutes helped me to speed up.

But the few minutes felt so much more, and it was such a relief when I saw him sitting on my bed. I sighed happily and sat beside him. He swung his arms around me, and I inhaled his sweet scent. It was like a perfume, except that any perfume couldn't copy the scent of Edward. He kissed my forehead several times, and whispered "I love you"s into my ears. This was my heaven, and nothing else.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: I can't describe how happy I was when I saw that I'd gotten my first reviews! It mean so much to me, thank you so much! And keep telling me what you think!**

**I'm sorry if it has taken some time since my last update, but I have a lot of other writing projects that I also want to work on.**

**Thank you Livingthelife4 for the wonderful idea of Jacob catching Bella and Edward kissing. **

**Anyway, let's pick up where we left of! And thank you again for the reviews!**

"You said what?" The look on Edward's face was priceless.

I realized my mistake. I had just _happened_ to mention that Jacob was a werewolf, and the fact that he had a pack. But I hadn't understood that Edward would be so furious. Vampires and werewolves were enemies, it wasn't new for me, but I guessed that Edward would let it go aside since we were finally together.

We were sitting on my bed, talking about the time we'd spent apart. Charlie wasn't up yet, it was seven in the morning, and I was afraid that Edward might wake him up with his mood.

"You – You have been spending time with _werewolves_?" He spit out the last word, and I disliked that. Werewolf or not, Jacob was my best friend. "You say that you have, literally, been talking to _dogs_?"

"Jacob's not a dog," I quickly explained, but realized that I should've been quiet when I saw Edward's look.

He rose, and started walking across the room while muttering something under his breath that I couldn't hear.

I tried to speak with him several times, but saw that it was pointless because he wasn't listening at all.

"Bella," he started, but changed his mind. After a few seconds, he spoke again. "Isabella Swan, how _could_ you even consider spending time with those, those…"

"Hey!" I interrupted him. "There's _nothing_ wrong with Jacob!"

He sighed, obviously irritated. "Do you even know how dangerous werewolves are Bella?"

I hesitated, were werewolves dangerous? That hadn't even occurred to me. Jacob wasn't dangerous, or was he? He couldn't be.

"Jacob isn't dangerous," I said slowly.

He shook his head. "Wrong Bella. You don't know anything about werewolves, not enough anyway."

His words made me think even more. Jake hadn't said anything about werewolves being dangerous, they couldn't be. But on the other hand, he sure wouldn't tell me if he knew that he was dangerous to me.

I was tired, and a headache was reaching me slowly but surely. The thoughts made me confused, I yawned loudly.

"Are you tired Bella?"

I told him no, but, of course, he didn't believe me. Instead, he convinced me to get some more sleep.

"You had a late night last night, sleep some more. I'll wait." He smiled. "And when you wake up, Charlie will be gone…" He sat down beside me on the bed and kissed my forehead. "Sleep now."

I slept in his arms, of course, free from nightmares. When I woke up, the time had gone surprisingly quickly. It was almost twelve.

We went down to the kitchen, and I had a late breakfast.

Charlie was gone of course, the absence of his cruiser revealed that much. It was nice, now Edward wouldn't have to hide. It still felt surreal that he was _finally_ here, I was so happy. Even the werewolf thing would have to wait, but I still wasn't done with him on that point. I would convince him that werewolves weren't dangerous. It was good that I'd slept about it, now I was sure of the fact that werewolves were anything but dangerous.

I wanted to go out, the air was moist and pleasing. He didn't object. After my meal, we both headed outside. The sky was grey, but it didn't rain. We didn't get far though. Edward grabbed me just a few feet from the door and started kissing me. His boundaries were nothing but memories anymore. It was as if he'd never been careful with me, this was _real_. I felt my legs fold under me, _Edward_.

JACOB

I could smell him, that damn leech. When his smell reached my nostrils, I flinched. Why the hell was a bloodsucker near Bella's house? I also knew perfectly which one of the Cullens who'd arrived, my rival (or love rival if that's what you want to call it), Edward. I banned him silently, why did he have to come back and ruin more of Bella's life? Why did he have to come back when Bella was so close to love me instead of him? He had ruined her life! I hoped that she'd refused his expected reunion, but I knew that it wasn't true. I knew how Bella still loved him – he hadn't given me time enough to prove for Bella that _I_ should be her love subject.

The Swan's residence appeared, and the smell grew stronger. I slowed my pace – I didn't want him to know that I was here. He would probably smell me, that was unavoidable, but it was worth a try.

The driveway showed that Charlie's cruiser was gone, but Bella's big truck was parked in front of the house.

I ducked – Bella would probably not see me, but I did it anyway. Even if she was outside, she wouldn't see me, I was still a rather far distance from the house.

The idea of visiting Bella had first crossed my mind after I'd driven her home yesterday. I wanted to see if she was all right, how she'd handled the events. I had also banned myself for bringing up Edward when I knew how it hurt her. Her eyes revealed almost too much, I shuddered at the thought of how she had looked when she'd first come to me after he had left. To see your love in that state was painful, and it still was. Her face haunted me – that was one of the main reasons for why I'd been so sad when I'd hurt her. Sometimes I suspected that my pain was stronger than hers when she grieved him. To see Bella so unhappy was torture for me.

Then I saw him, that freak. Seriously, who sucks blood from human beings? I know, I know, _they only hunt animals_, but is that the whole truth? Do _not_ think so.

He was looking content, standing next to Bella who looked even happier than him. Bella, my Bella. Why did she have to choose a bloodsucker over me? I sighed, she would never be mine, and it hurt to know.

They were talking happily to each other, a smile on their faces as if it was to be permanent on the lips.

WHY WAS HE BACK? He had _nothing_ to do here in Forks, nothing. I loathed him; he loved Bella, my Bella.

She laughed at one of his statements, and it stung. _I_ was the one she should laugh at.

I watched them for a minute or two, but I only did it because I loved to see Bella so happy. She looked so joyful for once. It had been a very long time since I'd seen her like that. Though, I looked down abruptly, when he bent his head down to hers. I knew perfectly well what was going on, and at the same time I couldn't help to look up again.

The sight that met me then made me wanting to run forward, and sink my teeth into his throat. It's good that I have some self-control, because otherwise Mr Leech would've been dead by then.

They were kissing, for real. And not just some easy-peasy kindergarden peck, this was a _real_ kiss, even more of a kiss than my and Bella's the previous day. It was really passionate, and I couldn't bring myself to look away.

I couldn't complain very much though, because Bella looked even happier. She'd let her arms lock around his stone neck, and his hands were braided in to Bella's brown hair. It was so intense. Even though I didn't want to, I thought that it was a bit beautiful, but just a small bit.

They stopped a moment so Bella could get some air, but then his lips were locked on hers again. I felt nausea gaining more and more control inside of me. And I ran away as fast as I could when I saw that he was lifting her up, without breaking the kiss, and walked against the door.

My life is over.

BELLA

Edward abruptly pulled away, and put me back on the ground. I protested, but he didn't listen.

That had been our first _real_ kiss since he'd return – I was dizzy from his sweet breath.

"Do you smell something?" He asked.

I thought about it, but I couldn't smell anything. It was silly that he'd asked me such a thing, I was just human and so was my smelling sense. "No," I said, hesitantly.

"Werewolf," he mumbled, and I think that he did it loud enough so that I could hear him.

"What? Is Jacob here?" I asked him, afraid of what he might have seen.

He smirked. "Not anymore." No other words were needed, I knew as well as he did that we hadn't been alone.

"Oh no," I whispered quietly. "No! No, no, no!"

Edward looked surprised. "What's the matter Bella?"

"You, I, Jacob…" I started, but I couldn't put it in words. Jacob was in love with me, and he'd saw me kiss Edward. The feelings that he must've experienced was painful for me to think about, poor Jacob. "Jacob," I paused. "Jacob loves me."

Edward flinched. "What?" The surprise in his voice was obvious. "Is _Jacob_ in _love_ with _you_?"

I nodded quickly and blushed, I was embarrassed. I didn't know why, but I was.

"Bella, are you blushing?"

"No," I whispered. "No, I'm not."

An awkward silence filled the atmosphere – it was probably because of him, he hadn't replied to my lying words. The moments flew by, and I brushed my feet gently to the ground.

"Do… Do you love him back?" he whispered, embarrassed and hesitant.

"No," I replied, almost too quickly. "Well, of course I love him," I added. "But I'm not _in_ love with him. I'm in love with _you_," I finished with a smile. "And it's not as if I can do anything about it."

He didn't smile back, instead he turned around. "Bella, is a _werewolf _in love with you?"

He had crossed the line, none of his prejudices against werewolves had anything to do with this, he was just acting silly and selfish.

"Edward, seriously, you have to stop preaching about your dislike for werewolves! This has nothing to do with it, and I don't even see why you're so upset. _You're_ the person I love, and the person I always _will_ love."

As he turned around, I took his hand.

"Bella, I'm just afraid of you getting hurt. That's what the werewolf-thing is about! And if he's in love with you it's just making it worse. I care about you Bella, that's why."

I sighed, did he have to be so overprotective? I wasn't a baby – I could take care of myself. It almost felt as if I was a five year old and he was my babysitter.

"You're not allowed to see him again, Bella. I don't want you to get hurt."

"_What_? Edward, you can't… you can't forbid me to see him, he's my best friend. Nothing will happen! And nothing did happen when he transformed and…"

"_What did you just say_?" He screamed. "_Did you say that he _transformed_ in front of you_?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but closed it again.

How could I be so stupid that I'd actually told him that? Was I really using my brain, or did I think with my pinky? How could I even _consider_ telling him such a thing when he'd talked all morning of his dislike for werewolves?

Edward was furious, I was almost afraid of him. His hands were fists, and his knuckles were even whiter than his pale skin.

I tried to explain, but he didn't listen.

"Edward I can explain!" My voice was pleading. I hated that he was mad with me, but I had to defend Jacob. Jacob…

"No Bella, you cannot. Do you see what danger you've put yourself into? _Do_ you? You failed you're only promise you gave me, to stay safe." It almost sounded as if he had tears in his eyes. I looked at his face, but his eyes were as dry as always, except that they were begging, but at the same time angry.

I almost started to cry, this wasn't supposed to happen. Why couldn't he just like werewolves, why did vampires and werewolves had to be enemies? Why?

"Why are you doing this? You weren't even here."

I saw how my words hurt him, how he almost took a step backwards. How his pupils widened and how his hands slowly loosened and the fists disappeared on his white hands.

"Because I care about you, I love you Bella. I know I weren't here, but I'm so sorry I left. I didn't know what I was leaving behind…" He let the last words of the sentence hang in the air.

I wrapped my arms around his waist. "I'm sorry Edward, I just…"

He interrupted me. "Don't say you're sorry Love, it's my fault. I'm sorry that I made you sad." He lifted my chin up with his hand and kissed my forehead. "You'll just have to stop spending time with him, that's all. I want you to be safe."

I quickly pulled away. What was he saying? I couldn't stop spending time with Jacob, he was my best friend! How could he even consider forbidding me such a thing? Didn't he know that Jacob was the one who'd helped me to light the spark of wanting to live again when he'd left?

"What are you saying?"

He looked surprised. "What do you mean Bella?"

"I can't stop spending time with Jacob, he's my best friend. You can't say that." I backed two steps.

Edward raised his eyebrows. "Bella, it's _dangerous_, I don't want you to get hurt."

"I don't care if it's dangerous, I want to be with him. He was the one who waked me up from my monotonic state when you'd left Edward. He helped me! You," I paused to figure out what to say next. "You should thank him, he took care of me!"

He seemed insecure on what to say next. His eyes revealed that he wanted to say so much, but kept it inside. That was good – I didn't want to hear about his experiences with werewolves.

"We'll talk about this later Bella." He looked deeply into my eyes. "I don't care about this right now. Now I just want to be with you, I haven't seen your face in a long time." He shortened the distance between us in one long stride, and took my hands in his. "What do you want to do? Anything, just as long as we're together."

His words made me touched. He was so perfect, I didn't deserve him.

"What do you want to do?" He whispered happily.

"Be with you of course." I smiled. "You decide."

He took a strand of my hair and played with it with his fingers. "I want to kiss you again," he whispered into my ear and his lips moved to my mouth.

I had been without this so long that it was hard to believe that it was really happening. It felt as if I could faint any second, my heartbeat was faster than it had ever been before. My body was loose in his arms – I no longer had the ability to move.

He pulled away slowly and laughed. "Good?"

I nodded eagerly and tried to stand. It didn't work, he catched me gently.

"Let's go for a walk," he said and smiled.

I nodded. "Let's go for a walk."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: A new chapter! Thanks everyone who has read this story, and don't stop reviewing! And also, I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit shorter than the other ones.**

The forest was green and inviting, mostly because I was walking with Edward, we walked hand in hand. I fell a lot since I was looking at his face, and not the ground. He catched me gently every time, and smiled. It was a silent walk; we didn't have anything to say to each other. We were both so happy that we were together. The werewolf issue was gone since a long time, a later problem. All I wanted at the moment was to be with him, my Prince Charming. It was as if he'd never been gone, he was completely forgiven.

But our quiet walk also made me think. What about Alice? I'd missed her terribly. And what about the rest of the Cullens? Would I see them again? Would they come back? I asked Edward that question. He smiled the crooked smile that made my heart beat extra fast.

"I don't know, and I don't care," he replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked him, puzzled.

He smiled wider. "I only care about _you_ Bella. I don't care about my family as long as I can be with you."

He kissed me gently on my lips, but I was still confused.

"But Alice, Edward! I want to see her! Where, exactly, is the rest of your family?"

Edward smile returned to his lips. He seemed so happy, and it made me happy too. But I still wanted him to answer, I was curious; I hadn't seen the Cullens in a very long time and I missed them. Esme's kindness, Emmett's laugh, my friendship with Alice, I missed it all, badly.

Edward stopped the walk abruptly when I asked him the question again; he hadn't answered the first time. He hushed me, and then threw his arms around me, pressing my body into his cool marble chest. I felt complete and happy as I kissed his neck from where I stood and wrapped my arms around his waist in a tight grip, but I still wasn't fully satisfied. Why wouldn't he answer?

I tried to speak with him again, but he interrupted me with a kiss on the lips. He was more careful than before, but the boundaries were still gone. Of course I kissed him back, he was the reason of my life, but my mind was elsewhere. I was the one who pulled away, and a wrinkle stepped forward on his smooth forehead.

"Isn't this what you want?" he asked me between frequent kisses all over my face.

It _was_ what I wanted – all I wanted was him, I could never get enough of him – but I missed Alice so much, now that he was finally with me I could concentrate on other things than just Edward.

"Of course this is what I want," I started. "But, I…" I hadn't time to finish the sentence, because he dragged me down on the ground and placed me into his lap. The forest was full of wet dirt, but I sat in his lap so it was his pants that would be ruined. Not that I cared if _all_ my pants were stained with wet dirt, I would do anything to be with him. His arms held a tight grip around my waist, and I leaned against his neck and inhaled his sweet scent. My greatest wish was that the moment would never end, but it did, of course.

It felt a bit silly, but Edward rolled around, with me in his arms, on the ground so that we were both covered in brown mud. I laughed as we played around, and a wide smiled appeared on his beautiful lips.

When we were covered in brown from head to toe, he lifted me up and started to run.

It had been an extremely long time since he'd taken me running; it was a nice feeling to have the wind in my hair, even though it was covered with dirt. He stopped after a minute or two, and pulled me down from his back.

There was a greedy need in the way he kissed me; he was so fierce that I almost was afraid. But of course I kissed him back as much as I could – after all, I loved him so much. He pressed me so tight against his hard chest that it almost hurt, but I was wise enough to not complain, I knew better, I even wanted him to pull me closer.

When we fell down on the ground he pulled away slowly so I could get some air, and then he rolled me on top of him and his lips were glued on mine again. I shuddered in satisfaction but I banned myself just after; he always pulled away when I did. This time was different though, he just held me harder against his firm body.

After what felt like a too short time, he sat up. I did too since I was lying on top of him. He kissed me once on my nose, and I caught myself with breathing embarrassingly loud through my mouth. He laughed and I could feel that my heart would in any second jump out of my chest, it beat so hard and fast.

"So, how was that?" he asked, still smiling.

"Amazing," I answered him; I didn't want him to stop.

He laughed, and kissed my cheek. I quickly turned my face to his so that his lips met mine. My greedy hands held his neck in a tight grip, and he put his hands on both sides of my face. He pulled away though, even though I tried to hold him back.

"That's enough for today Bella."

"No!" I protested. Now that we were together, I wanted to take advantage of it.

He laughed, let go of me, and stood up. I did the same, and took his hand in a solid grip, he had to accept that much. He lifted up our entwined hands to his face, and kissed my knuckles.

"Do you want to go home and clean up?"

"Anything as long we're together." He smiled at my reply and lifted me on to his back.

The walk home was just as pleasant as the first one, except that it had become a bit chillier since the last time. He run me to the house, not bothering if anyone saw him flicker of the speed.

We walked in silence to my room, where he waited while I took a shower.

"Hurry," he mouthed as I left him in my room.

There was a lot of dirt in my hair, it was hard to wash through all the mud and be fast at the same time, I didn't want to waste any time with him.

When I'd finally washed my hair clean enough, even though it still wasn't completely free from the mud, I threw the dirty clothes in a pile on the floor and pulled on a new pair of jeans and a simple shirt with blue stripes. I started a machine with my muddy outfit, and ran as fast as I could back to my room.

"You left?" I asked him with a disappointed tone as I entered my room because I noticed that he was just as clean as I was.

He laughed. "Bella, I had to. Did you _see_ how brown and muddy I was? I looked just like you, and I prefer to be clean." When he said the last sentence he slid his hand through his hair in a graceful movement. The motion made me ready to faint.

"You're the one who come up with the idea!" I accused him with a smile.

He slid to my side and hugged me closely to his body; I could feel his face in my hair.

"Can I see Alice soon?" I whispered.

He pulled away. "Do you really want to see her so badly?" His voice was serious. I nodded eagerly; I couldn't wait to see her. "Frankly," he continued. "I haven't seen her in quite a while either."

"What were you actually doing?"

"When?" he asked, but I think I knew that he actually knew perfectly well what I was asking to now. He just wanted to pretend as if we'd never been apart in the first place, understandable, our life had obviously been so miserable without each other.

"When you left…" I answered hesitantly.

"Oh. Well, nothing especially amusing. Mostly, I thought about you…"

I hugged him again; it was hard to believe that I could finally feel his body under my fingertips; I had been without him for so long. "I thought about you too," I whispered in to his chest. "I heard your voice."

"What?" He asked, baffled, looking down at my face. "Explain that one please," he smiled, the crooked one. I could feel my heart pound harder in my chest; it should be illegal to make my heart pound like a hummingbird. It was almost embarrassing, because I knew that he could hear my heart beat even clearer than I could.

"I," I paused, I hadn't told anyone about it before. "I heard your voice when I did something stupid, or reckless," I added. "You were mad, and asking me not to… Not to do it. And that's why I did a lot of stupid things, so I could hear your voice." I thought for a moment. "Like trying to jump off the cliff, riding those bikes with Jake and also seeing those men on that bar…"

"WHAT?" He interrupted me with an angry tone in his voice. "YOU JUMPED OFF A CLIFF?"

I blushed. "Not literally, Jake caught me in time. Besides, I only did it so I could hear your voice."

Edward's lips turned into a hard line, the last sentence hadn't had the effect I wanted it to have. It had the opposite, he became even angrier.

"You," he took a deep breath. "_Are you saying that you_ _risked your own life to hear my voice_?"

"Yes… but I did it because I am so madly in love with you!"

He muttered something. "I shouldn't have left you in the first place," he said. "Spending time with _werewolves_ and jumping off cliffs."

"Hey! There was only _one_ cliff!" I smiled.

"It's not that Bella, it's the _principle_! How could you risk your life to hear my voice, how could you do so to me?" He quickly kissed my cheek. "You didn't keep your promise!"

"Oh, screw your promise!" I said angrily. "I was a sinking ship without you! I would've done anything to see you again while you were gone, _anything_. I would've given my entire life for only a _minute_ with you again…" He shushed me.

"Don't say that!" He put one of his icy fingers on top of my lips. "Don't," he was pleading, I didn't understand.

"Why?"

He sighed, and took both of my hands in one of his while took the other one caressed my fingers. "I don't want to hear, it's torture to me. I'm so sorry," his lips brushed across my forehead. I turned my head up to meet his lips. "I'm so sorry," he repeated.

"Don't be, you're back, it's the only thing that matters to me now."

He sighed while holding me close – whispering apologizes in my ears. In his eyes were something pleading, but at the same time, it looked as if they were full with the golden liquid that constituted the color of his eyes. I wanted to smoothen out the furrow betweens his eyes, he shouldn't be sad.

I had lunch together with him – though he didn't eat, of course. The meal was an old micro waved pizza. It probably tasted like an old boot, but I didn't taste the food; I was looking at Edward.

When Charlie returned – he had been at Sue's place, helping out after Harry's death – Edward went up to my room. I followed him as quickly as I could with an excuse of headache. Charlie was, of course, not planning on making dinner on his own, so I quickly made some pasta. We ate in silence, and I didn't taste my food. Charlie obviously did. He also tried to start a conversation, but he stopped after a while. It was probably because he noticed that I was very absent at the dinner table.

Finally, the meal came to an end. I did the dishes as quickly as I could, not caring if the plates were still a bit dirty. Charlie made himself comfortable in front of the TV, not a big surprise. I told him a hasty goodnight, and waved quickly.

"Sleep tight, Bells," he told me, then his eyes returned to the screen again.

I watched him a moment to before I went to my room, his eyes were eagerly locked to the screen. He was leaning a bit forward, looking excited. It was almost something childish and playful in his eyes, I smiled at the thought and guessed that a big game was probably airing tonight.

Edward was lying on my bed when I returned, his golden eyes shining in contentment.

"Hi," I said as I laid myself comfortable next to him.

"Hello, how was dinner?"

"Er, good?" I told him while taking his hand.

He laughed. "That's good to hear, what were you having?"

"Pasta," I said as I slid myself closer to his cool body. He wrapped his arms around me and slowly kissed my hair.

It was only late evening, but still I fell asleep in his arms. But what I didn't know was that I would love him even more – if it was even possible – the next day thanks to a surprise he'd fixed while I'd had dinner.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello! Nine reviews now, thank you so much! You can't imagine how much it means, please review more. And also, if you have any ideas of how the story will continue, feel free to suggest!**

**For those who want more Jacob, I'll put him in more in the next chapter! This one is more about one of Bella's other reunions… **

I slept very well that night, the nightmares had come to a sudden end – I suspected that it was mostly because of Edward.

When I woke up that morning, it was unexpectedly early, six or seven, the first thought that occurred to me was that it had to be because my early night the previous day. It turned out to be wrong, because I noticed that I hadn't awakened by myself. Before I opened my eyes, I could feel that someone was shaking me. Slowly, gently and carefully, but someone was waking me up.

I opened my drowsy eyes with a yawn and blinked a few times. When my sight had slightly returned, I saw that I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday. Obviously, I hadn't had the time to change before I went to bed.

The face that met me then made me want to run around and scream of happiness.

Her short spiky hair were just as I'd remembered, her golden eyes were full of joy and her pixie-like body where leaning over my recently awakened figure. A smile decorated her pretty face, and her teeth were straight and white.

"Hi Bella!" Her voice was just as light and happy as always, Alice's sweet breath brushed across my face.

I quickly rose from my position on the bed, and threw my arms greedily around her.

"Alice, Alice! _Alice_!" I said loudly, and happily.

She laughed her angel-like laugh, but then hushed me. "You'll wake Charlie up!"

But at the moment, I didn't care. Alice was here! She'd come, I'd missed her unbelievably much the past months, and finally she was here. I was in such excitement that I almost fell on the floor when I rose from the bed to stand.

He had answered to my prayer, he had told Alice to come. Edward had listened.

I saw him sitting in my old rocking chair, observing us with a faint smile on his lips. The expression made my heart take an extra beat. I let go of my arms around Alice, and ran forward to take my place in his arms.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I repeated as I sat down in his lap, threw my arms around his neck and kissed his gorgeous face. He smiled, and kissed my forehead in reply. Edward was just so perfect, so inhumanly perfect and generous. How could I ever thank him enough for this?

"You told me you wanted her to come so badly," he said while caressing my cheek, "and I must admit, it was nice to see you Alice," he lifted his gaze from my face and looked at the other smaller vampire in the room.

She clapped her hands together in excitement. "It's so good that you're finally together again! Jasper will be so pleased! He's been so sad for the birthday incident Bella," she added in a more serious tone and looked at me with pleading eyes, almost as if to apologize for his actions. "And I can't wait to tell Carlisle and Esme! I've missed you so much Bella!"

"Please don't rush into anything Alice," Edward told her in a stern tone. "We've only been together for about two days, I want some time with Bella for myself." He kissed me lightly on the lips after uttering the words.

Alice looked at us with an understanding look. She nodded. "I see, but you'll have to share her with me. Today at least," she added with enthusiasm in her voice. "We'll have so much fun together Bella!" she said and grabbed me up from my comfortable position in Edward's arms. "What do you want to do?" I noticed how thrilled she was, almost more excited than me.

I thought for a while. There was nothing that I especially felt for doing, I was just so relieved that Alice was here. With both her and Edward her, it felt like I was in my own personal heaven. After such a long time without them, it felt surreal to even be able to see them.

"Your choice," I told her with a smile and shrugged my shoulders.

Alice smiled wider. "Yay!" It looked exactly as if she was ready to do a little jump in excitement; it was difficult to describe her joy with words. "We are _so_ going shopping Bella! You really need a totally new wardrobe. I took a look while you were sleeping, you just _have_ to throw out some old shirts in your wardrobe."

I laughed. She was right; some things in my closet had seen their best days. But I hadn't had the heart to throw them out; Alice would have to do that part, if it would even happen. When it came to throwing out old clothes, I had very strong opinions about some of the contents of my wardrobe. The clothes were memories too.

"I'm coming with you," Edward said, smiling.

Alice protested instantly, "No! You're staying home bro, this is a girls' thing."

I didn't really agree with her, Edward could come. But when I told her, she wasn't too fond of the idea. "But Bella! I haven't seen you for _months_! Come on, he's a _boy_." I heard Edward laugh silently; Alice said it as if there was something wrong with being male. Maybe in her point of view, it was, at least when it came to shopping.

"I haven't seen Bella in that long either, Alice," he said while looking at me with a loving gaze.

"You're _fighting_ over me?" I asked them, rather amused. It had never happened to me before, and I found it quite fun. They wanted to be with me, after all the time I hadn't seen them. It was like a proof of that the events were actually happening, that this was reality. "That's so cool!"

Edward snorted, raised one of his eyebrows and looked at Alice. "Alice, I'm coming with you, " He sounded as an angry father, telling his daughter what to do and not. "Now that I'm back, I don't want to miss a minute of my time with Bella." He shifted his gaze to my face, and I almost drowned into his golden eyes.

Alice face darkened, but she seemed to accept it. After all, she had no other choice. "Fine," her voice was a bit sullen. "You can come, but you're going to ruin all my plans!" She crossed her tiny arms across her chest.

Edward laughed. "And why can't I be a part of those plans?" he asked, smiling.

Alice turned around to say something to me, instead of him. "He just don't get what a girls' day are, right?" She smiled, her exclamation had been a joke, but I still hesitated.

"Er…" I started.

She laughed. Her angel-like laughter almost felt like music in my ears. "You don't have to answer that Bella."

I pretended to be deeply asleep when Charlie woke up, so that he wouldn't be suspicious. He stopped by my room around half past seven and carefully peeked in to see if I was awake. I was. But just a few seconds before he had opened my door with a silent creak, I had quickly crawled in under the covers.

Charlie drove away to Sue about eight o'clock. When the sound of his engine wasn't hearable anymore, I tiptoed down the stairs together with Alice and Edward.

I had breakfast as quickly as I could, but I couldn't pretend that I wasn't hungry. The simple dinner I'd had the day before was long gone. Edward and Alice waited for me patiently at the kitchen table while I quickly filled my mouth with food. It was a bit stressing, but I managed to ignore it. Instead, we talked a bit about what Alice had done in the last few months.

When I'd finished the last pieces of cereal, I went up to my room to get dressed.

Alice critically observed my pick of clothes as I came down the stairs, and repeated that I was in desperate need of some new clothes. I glanced down at my jeans and tan sweater, but found nothing wrong with my outfit. Except for maybe the fact that I'd gotten the jeans three years ago, they were a bit worn.

Alice had come to my house in Carlisle's car, which she had parked about two hundred feet from the house, invisible for Charlie.

I walked clumsily beside them; their steps were as soundless as the light breeze that was flowing in the trees. My steps were the only thing that was possible to hear, the sound of gravel creaking under my feet was very noticeable.

It turned out that Alice had laid up a secret little plan of our day in her head while I'd had breakfast. She had planned everything in its smallest detail, I had nothing to add or say – she wouldn't let me, even if I tried.

Edward chuckled quietly as Alice told me about the events we were about to start with.

"Okay Bella, I'll think we'll go to Port Angeles before lunch – I think there's a new store there that has great dresses – and then you can have some lunch before we continue to Seattle to buy some pants in this…"

"Wait a second, Alice," I interrupted her. "Do we have to go shopping the _whole_ day? Can't we just, like, hang out at my place after lunch? I miss that… Or we could go for a walk, I mean… I still have _some_ clothes, I only need a few things…"

She snorted and looked at me with a strange look in her golden eyes. "Bella, seriously, you have to stop that! You _need_ new clothes," a critical look from her eyes fell on my brown shirt.

"Okay, let's do like this then; we'll go to Port Angeles and look at those dresses, and then we'll get home before Charlie gets back!" I suggested. "Then everyone'll get what they want."

Edward smiled at my idea. Alice sighed, but she couldn't deny the fact that I had come up with a good suggestion.

When we arrived to the car's parking place, Edward took a place in the backseat and offered Alice the place as driver. He was quiet the whole trip while Alice and I spoke happily in the front seats. Maybe he was planning on being a bit discrete, since Alice had pointed out quite clearly to him that she wasn't very fond of the idea of he coming. Alice seemed very satisfied with his part in the day; she never asked him anything unless I hadn't brought him up.

There was no new store with nice dresses, it turned out. But it didn't matter, since dresses wasn't my greatest requirement, because Alice could find the greatest clothes even though there was not a _new_ store located in Port Angeles.

Edward followed us quietly all the time, even though he was looking at me with a loving gaze almost all the time. I didn't really understand what he saw in me, I was just a small fragile human – he was too perfect for me.

About lunchtime, we were already finished. Alice had gotten me two new pairs of jeans, a red sweater and three t-shirts. I couldn't deny that I was in need of it all, that's why I thanked her almost a silly amount of times for paying. She just laughed at me, but I immediately felt better.

"Where do you want to have lunch Bella?" Alice asked me happily as we came out from the last store.

"I'll eat home," I answered her optimistically. "There's still some leftovers in the fridge."

Alice shook her head. "No, no, Bella. You're having a fancy lunch today." She took my hand and dragged me into a restaurant across the street. I didn't have the time to protest.

It was the same restaurant I had dined in with Edward about a year ago – though Alice was unaware of that. That time, I hadn't known that the Cullens were vampires, neither that I would end up coming back a year later.

Sweet memories came back to life as we entered the Italian dining place. It looked just the same as a year ago, everything, even the color of the candles who were situated on the tables, even the smell hadn't changed.

The exact table where Edward and I had sat at was free, so I politely asked the waitress if we could sit there. As we sat down, I remembered everything about that day, who he'd rescued me from those men, who he'd invited me here for dinner, how he'd told me that he could read minds… how he'd revealed his deepest family secrets for me, Bella Swan; the human who knew. Everything came rushing back over me like a wave of seawater. I looked at Edward who were sitting beside me, his expression revealed that he was thinking just the same thoughts that I was. He saw how I was watching him, and a perfect, tender smile appeared on his lips, he hadn't forgotten either.

I ordered mushroom ravioli without looking at the menu. Edward laughed at my choice and kissed me on the cheek. But Alice was puzzled, she didn't understand, and we didn't tell her anything either.

I looked at his face the entire meal – we shared a silent conversation. Alice was a bit irritated, she was obviously feeling a bit excluded. It wasn't a very big surprise that she wanted to leave as quickly as possible. Edward laughed at her urgency, but we obeyed her wish.

The trip back home was just as the previous; Alice and I chatted happily in the front seat, and Edward watched us quietly from the backseat.

"Thank you so much for everything Alice," I thanked her as we passed the familiar Forks-sign.

"You're welcome, Bella," she said. "It's nothing. I just loved this morning! It's so good to see you again, I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too," I told her, she smiled.

Charlie wasn't home yet, so we came home to an empty house.

Neither of Alice or Edward had a good suggestion on what to do next; I was the one who hatched a rather good idea. I remembered that I had an old Monopoly-game hidden under my bed. When I came down with it, Edward suffocated a laugh.

"Monopoly?" Alice asked skeptically.

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's fun! Besides, I haven't played for _years_."

They agreed, and we sat down at the kitchen table.

My idea turned out to be quite bad, since Alice won everything in a very short time. She knew which streets to buy, she saw if we would land on them or not. Edward sighed in defeat as Alice cried out that she'd won.

The fact that Edward could read minds hadn't helped him very much in this game, but he didn't take it very hard. I was worse, but it didn't last long.

"Okay Bella! Now it's time for us to throw some of your old clothes out!" Alice exclaimed after she'd bragged about her victory.

"Sure," I answered and followed her up to my room, Edward tagged along silently after.

When we were done, a big pile of clothes, which Alice had failed, were laying on the floor. She looked at them with a satisfied gaze. "I think my work here is done."

"What am I supposed to do with these?" I asked her and lifted out a sweater with a big hole in from the pile.

"I don't know," she replied. "Charity? Do whatever you want to do. Or you can sew them into new clothes!"

I laughed. "I think I prefer the first one."

"Charity it is," Edward said and rose from his position on my bed. He'd been quiet the entire time of Alice's cleaning-phase. "We can stuff the clothes in a big plastic bag."

When Charlie arrived that night, my old clothes were stuffed in a big grey bag, there were some chicken for him in the fridge and I was deeply asleep with Edward and Alice guarding protectively over me in my room.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks so much everybody who's reviewed (especially to you who's reviewed more than once! ;-)), it's awesome to hear what you think! Don't forget, that if you've got any ideas, feel free to post them in your review!**

**(and, oh, the "like the seasons with no summer" (quote from Edward's part) is copied from the song "Without Love" from Hairspray, I just think that it's a very good comparison) **

**So, in this chapter you'll read from Jacob, Edward and Bella's point of view.**

JACOB

Bella, my Bella. Bella was… lost. She'd chosen him in front of me, Bella. My lovely, blushing, funny Bella had left me, for a bloodsucker.

It would have been a lot easier if she had chosen to break up with me (okay, we were never a couple, but almost! Remember that kiss!) for someone else, a human. The mental pain would have been easier to deal with if she'd chosen that what she needed was a regular, boring human. But no, Bella had chosen the leech; of course she had chosen him of all the men in the world (if he could even be counted as a man).

But I still wasn't angry with _her_; my rage's real target was _he_. That filthy bloodsucker had come back; I knew that he would only make Bella's life harder than it already was.

It had been almost impossible for me to mend the pieces of Bella when she'd come to me that day, and now he would only ruin my repair of her. He would ruin everything again.

My only hope was that I wouldn't be alone to fight him off; I had the pack. They would help me to kill him, to make him disappear forever.

I changed my mind the instant after I'd made up the plan. Bella would _never_ forgive me if I killed Edward. She thought that she loved him, she wasn't aware of that the fact that she was wrong. Bella loved _me_; I _knew_ that, I knew that she loved me. Maybe not as much as she thought she loved him, but she loved me. She loved me enough that it was worth fighting for her, I loved her; I would never stop hoping that she would some day choose me.

It was far past midnight, and I was lying on my bed. Two days had passed since I'd seen their passionate kiss, and the memory was still haunting me every second.

I couldn't sleep, because every time I closed my heavy eyelids, I saw her. I saw her face, her beautiful face, I saw her chocolate-brown eyes, I saw her soft hair brushing across her face and I saw her warm smile.

The picture haunted me, she was so painfully beautiful, but she could never be mine.

"_Bella_," I whispered her name into the thick darkness and sighed. It sounded like music in my ears. "_Bella Swan_," A brief pause before I continued, "_Bella Black_." I fantasized about a future together with her for a short moment, but stopped quickly.

I shouldn't do that – she was to be his. Not mine, my deepest wish of all would never fulfill. It hurt to know; I immediately felt a throbbing pain in my chest as if there was something missing, Bella was missing.

I didn't know when I'd realized that I was in love with Isabella Swan. It wasn't a very swoop-your-feet-off-the-ground feeling – it came more gradually.

The first time I'd fantasized about us two together had been when I'd seen her the second time after she'd moved to Forks, but I had ignored it very quickly. When he had left, I had realized my true feelings; I loved Bella, I always would. That's why I'd lighten up like a rocket the first time she'd went to see me after his abandonation. When I realized that she _wanted_ to spend time with me, I couldn't help to jump around in happiness when she wasn't near. _She wanted to be with me, with me, Jacob._

I still found solace in our first kiss on the cliff, it lit a small amount of hope inside my aching body, since she had wanted me to kiss her that day. The memory was sweet as sugar; I could remember _exactly _how it felt to have her soft lips on mine, how the sweet soft fragrance from her breath had brushed across my face. I couldn't remember how many times I'd displayed the memory in my head, more than enough at least. She probably wouldn't have liked how much I'd thought about that day, that moment, the happiest moment of my life.

I sighed again. At least it was something; I'd kissed her once, one perfect time, a time that I would always remember, always.

The thick darkness, which was filling up my room, had slowly started to lighten up by the coming sunrise. I groaned in frustration and threw a quick glance at my small clock, 3.24. Had I really stayed up and thought about her for that long? The truth was unmerciful, and I could feel how tired I actually was.

I don't know how long it took for me to find the peaceful sleep, but it took a lot longer than I would have wanted it to take.

EDWARD

The clock ticked closer to eleven every second, I soon couldn't wait anymore.

I was sitting in Bella's old rocking chair, watching her sleep and observing her even breath and silent heart beat, it felt like a miracle to be able to see her again.

I had been very insecure if to return to her that day, I hated the cowardice I'd shown that day, but I couldn't live without her, my life was nothing without Isabella Marie Swan. Nothing, like a starless night, like the seasons with no summer, a world without love…

I'd waited patiently in her room the whole day, and when I saw her surprised, relieved face, I knew it was worth to come back. Everything was worth watching her blush scarlet again, to see her amazing smile, to hear the three words that revealed that my feelings were responded. It still set an incredible pain free inside me when she mentioned my absence; it was still the greatest mistake I had ever made. How could I be so heartless to leave her alone in Forks together with werewolves? And how could I ever live with myself now that I knew how melancholic she'd been without me, even though she couldn't possibly suffered worse than I had.

When I watched her rest in that peaceful state, I could do nothing but sigh in happiness. Bella was safe, and we were together; they were my only life cravings, _nothing_ else mattered. I was still amazed how stupid I could be to even _consider_ leaving her.

Alice had left after our day together; she had plans to go to France together with Jasper, some sort of honeymoon. If only Bella and I could have the same possibilities.

The vampire-issue was still very sensitive for me; I would do anything to protect Bella from becoming one of us. I still couldn't understand that she wanted such a thing; she didn't understand that we were _monsters_. I would have chosen to die that day in 1918, if it wasn't for the fact that I would never meet Bella if that happened. Though there was a lot of advantages in her transformation; I would never have to suffer from my burning thirst to her blood again (even though that was the _last_ thing I had in my mind at the moment), I would never have to be careful or cautious with her again, and I could be with her _forever_; a whole eternity with Bella was my heaven, it was sad that I would never get it.

I though back to that day with Bella's and my walk, how she'd craved Alice's company. It still confused me, wasn't she happy to finally be with me too? Now that we were finally together, I didn't care about anything than her. Not even my family; all my thoughts were concerning here, only her. It was so bizarre for me that she'd suggested a thing as Alice. Bella was my _life_.

Something was bothering me though – _if_ I could think about anything else than Bella –, something simple, but still worth worrying about, Charlie. I was very sure that he would be more than furious if he would find out that I was back in her life. Not that it dominated my entire mind; it was just _one_ small thought of the millions I had about Bella. And the werewolf issue was also something to put some thought into. How could Bella be so reckless to spend time with those _dogs_? On top of it, their smell was _unbearable_. Ugh, the thought of my Bella in hands of werewolves made me shudder.

She had slept for quite a while now; I wondered why. Maybe her activities yesterday had been exhausting for her – it was past eleven. But I didn't want to wait for her to wake up, I wanted to be with her every moment, I didn't want to miss a thing.

Bella was so utterly beautiful. She was so different from other humans, her beauty, her unpredictable way, everything… She was breathtaking. All I wanted was to grab her in my arms, and kiss her in a fierce, passionate motion. I was so lucky that she almost felt the same way about me that I felt about her. I was very sure that nobody had ever felt the way for a person as I felt for Bella, the feelings I had was impossible to mark in words. It was like a price, an award, if I'd known that this would be my reward, I'd gladly wait a _thousand_ years to be with her.

I very soon found it late enough to wake my sleeping sweetheart. I brushed my lips in a cautious action across her sleeping face – she woke immediately.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty," I whispered carefully into her ear.

BELLA

I smiled as his lips touched my forehead in the gentlest motion, Edward.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty," he whispered in my ear. I rolled around to meet his waiting lips by my ear, and kissed him on the mouth. My belly immediately filled with butterflies, and my breathing went gradually faster for each second.

I'd slept about the fact that I had to tell him about Victoria, he had to know; but I didn't look forward to it though. His reaction would probably be worse than when I told him about the werewolves, and he would blame himself _again_ for letting it happen to me. It hurt to speak about his abandonation, but it hurt even more to know that he was taking all the blame for the things that had happened to me the last months.

I let my gaze fly over my room, where was Alice?

"Where's Alice," I asked him, very anxious. She hadn't left, hadn't she?

"She went to Europe with Jasper," He smiled, but I still felt a bit disappointed. It didn't last very long, though, since I still had my reason for life just a few inches beside me. "How was sleep?" he continued.

I yawned and rose from my laying position, he sat down on the bed and looked at me with a happy glance.

"Good, I guess," I replied. "I feel very rested. What time is it? Has Charlie left yet?"

"Charlie has left, he left about an hour ago, it's half past eleven," he said with a low chuckle. "You've had a very long night."

I thought about his reply, half past eleven? Was it really possible, had I really slept for that long? I'd never done anything likely before.

"What?" I asked him, very surprised. It felt absurd that I'd slept for so long.

He chuckled again, and hugged me tightly to him. His lips were in my hair, brushing gently across my head. I pulled away; I hadn't washed it since the mud incident, and I wasn't sure if I was thorough enough that time. I didn't want him to smell the rests of the dirt; I wanted him to smell my _clean_ hair.

"What's wrong?" he asked, puzzled, when I pulled away.

"It's dirty," I told him and pulled a strand of my hair behind my ear. "It smells disgusting, there's still some mud left in it."

"I don't care," he said and pulled me against his cool chest again. "I don't care," he repeated in a soft velvet voice.

But I cared, it was _very_ dirty, I could feel that. Before he could play with it and inhale the smell, I wanted to wash it. I also wanted to brush me teeth, it felt as if I hadn't done it in weeks.

I pulled away again, unwillingly though. He let go of me with more reluctance this time; I had to remove his arms from my torso.

"Bella, I don't care if your hair is dirty," he said playfully. "It doesn't matter. I still think that it smells good."

"Fine, but I need to wash it. Could you wait for just a short while?" I said the last sentence with a bit hesitation.

He smiled. "Of course I'll wait."

There was a reason for why I wanted to shower in that very moment, an excuse for the bad timing. I had to collect my thoughts before telling him about Victoria, I was dreading for the moment. He would probably go berserk, and I wouldn't have time to explain that Jacob's pack was chasing her. It would probably be even worse, he would probably leave me and go looking for her himself. He would leave me again – not for as long time as his previous absence, but enough to make me unhappy. I knew that I would miss him terribly if he decided to go looking for her. That's why I felt a bit more reluctant than before to tell him. It could wait; I could enjoy the time we had together without any problems as long as possible.

When I'd showered and brushed my teeth, I was convinced to tell him. Sooner or later I still had to tell him. It would be best to just pull of the band-aid and do it, without any second thoughts.

I took a deep breath before I entered my room again.

He was lying on my bed in a perfectly still and beautiful pose. He rose when I entered and quickly removed the distance between us in two long strides, his arms caged me in a protective movement.

"Hello," he said and buried his face in my hair. "Smells just as good as always," he added. "I don't know what you were talking about."

I cleared my throat and looked up at his face.

"I need to tell you something," I told him formally, "it's important."

He raised one eyebrow. "What?"

"Er," I couldn't help it, but I hesitated. "Victoria is," I paused, figuring out how to put it, "Victoria is back."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you so inhumanly much for all the reviews! Keep on telling me what you think (by reviewing)! That was all I think…**

**Ps. and sorry if this is a bit short, if it would be one chapter it would be too long so I divided it into two chapters. **

His eyes widened in a gesture of frustration, a small furrow appeared between his perfect eyebrows where the skin normally was smooth.

"What?" He didn't seem to believe me, his tone revealed too much of his disapproval.

I hesitated, what was I supposed to say?

"Victoria," I started, "Victoria. She is… She is trying to kill me, she… she wants to revenge James's death. She – the pack is guarding me…" The words came out in huge disarray; it wasn't supposed to sound like that. I wanted to sound calm, composed and in perfect order.

"What?" he repeated, it was as if he didn't understood that I was speaking the truth.

"I know, I know. It's just… Well, I haven't told you because I didn't want you to leave me here while you go looking for her."

The furrow sank deeper into his white forehead, I wanted to reach out and even I out with my hand. He shouldn't look so worried – I was perfectly fine. If you didn't count the fact that I was terrified that Victoria would kill my dearest beloved.

"Do you think I will leave you _alone_ now that Victoria is looking for you?" he asked, his voice was gentle, but at the same time angry and strict. "Do you think I will leave you alone?" he repeated.

I was surprised; this wasn't the reaction I had been searching for at all. Though I was happy that he hadn't become blazingly angry.

"I don't know," I replied. "I just…"

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" he asked, anxious and upset. His tone revealed almost too much of his feelings, this wasn't how Edward used to be.

I opened my mouth to answer, but I was ashamed of the answer. "I thought that you would leave me here alone…" It was selfish and stupid, I knew it, but I couldn't help it. He had to stay with me – it was my only wish.

Before I had time to continue, he'd quickly pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He was dialing so quickly that his fingers flickered. Who was he calling?

"Carlisle," was the only thing I could make out, he was talking so fast, my human ears wasn't enough to discern his words.

Even though he was talking so quickly, the call lasted for several minutes. I guessed that it had something to do with that he had to explain that he had returned to me, Alice was the only person, apart from us, who knew anything about it.

I sighed; our happy time without problems was over. Now it would be as before. It wouldn't be that bad though, because I would still be with Edward. I sighed at his piercingly beauty, even though he was anxious and worried, he was amazingly beautiful.

When the phone call ended, he turned to me again. A faint smile covered his face, and he pulled me into his arms.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered to me soothingly and kissed my forehead. "It's going to be okay."

"The werewolf-pack has been protecting me from her attacks," I answered. "They've been very close to getting her several times and…"

He interrupted me. "Bella, we're taking over from here. You're going to be safe; Victoria is soon not going to bother you anymore. I won't leave you Bella, not when she's near."

His words were very soothing and convincing, especially the part about that he wouldn't leave me. It was a great relief to know that we would be together.

"What did you tell Carlisle," I whispered into his cool chest.

He kissed my cheek before answering. "What was worth knowing."

"And that was exactly…" I trailed off; I was going to let him finish the sentence.

He sighed. "That we were together again, and about Victoria. And the werewolves of course," he added seriously. "I'm grateful that they have protected you, but their protection isn't necessary anymore. Carlisle is bringing Esme, Rose and Emmett back to Forks, and Alice and Jasper is planning on following as soon as their trip is over."

"Okay…" I replied.

He looked at me with serious eyes and caressed my cheek in one simple motion. My skin burned where his fingers had touched me, his touch still made my heart flutter. How could I live without him? I needed him so much, even more than before. My hand played with his t-shirt, and he pulled me closer to him.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered into my ear. "I won't let her hurt you." His sweet breath brushed across my face, and as so many times before, the scent was mouthwatering.

I opened my mouth to answer, but he silenced it with the soft touch from his lips.

"I believe you," I pulled back to look into his eyes.

He smiled the crooked smile. "That's good. And you should consider to tell Charlie that your boyfriend is back."

The question caught me off guard; the last thing I was thinking about was Charlie. There were so many other things to be worrying about.

"Why are you asking that?" My voice revealed every bit of the confusion I was feeling.

He chuckled. "I just think that it's a good idea. You know that you have to go back to school in two days. And also, I might join you."

The thought of Edward coming back to school was very comforting, it was a proof of that he really planned on moving to Forks permanently. I also wouldn't have to be alone in the afternoons.

"So you're really moving back?" My voice was full of hope. "And the others too?"

Edward smiled again – he was so beautiful. "Yes Bella, haven't I made that clear enough?"

Maybe he _had_ made that clear enough, but it still felt like a miracle. How could he actually belong to me? I didn't deserve him.

"I really think you should tell Charlie," he added more seriously. "I can't hide in your room all the time."

I sighed at the idea; it wouldn't be any good at all. If I knew Charlie right, he wouldn't forgive Edward in a long time, a very long time.

"You're right," I told him and bit my lip. "I'll tell him tonight."

"Good."

"But what should I tell him?"

He considered his answer for a few seconds, closing his eyes to think deeply. The look on his face was peaceful, an impulse told me to reach out and touch it.

"I don't know," he finally said. "Do you have any ideas?"

I hadn't. Not a single idea, I had had my hope on him. Edward was always the one to come up with the greatest ideas to tell Charlie. After all, lying wasn't something I was good at.

"Well, that Carlisle didn't like his job in Los Angeles?" I started, hesitating.

"That's a start," he said and sat down on my bed, signaling that I would do the same. I sat down next to him with a smile.

Edward, of course, came up with the rest. His idea wasn't perfect, what idea could be so perfect that Charlie would believe it in our situation? It was a very simple reason for his absence; Edward had though that I didn't want him to visit. When Carlisle was going to move back to Forks the rest of the family would follow, including Edward. We would get together again officially as the happy couple we had once been, the happy couple we were, when the other Cullens arrived. The rendezvous would be natural, school.

The plan required that we would tell Charlie when school started after the vacation. It fit me good; I wasn't looking forward to the moment. Charlie would for sure bring his gun when he saw Edward near me. I sighed, there was nothing I could do about his coming reaction; it was inescapable.

.

The Cullens arrived that night. Edward stayed with me instead of greeting his family. I appreciated the fact that he chose me in front of his family, but it hurt to know that I was keeping him from his siblings and parents.

When I told him that I was okay with the idea of him going back to his own house, he laughed.

"You've got to be kidding Bella!"

But I wasn't, I was fully serious. His reaction surprised me.

"Go Edward, you miss them. I can see it."

I saw through him, he saw that. He sighed in defeat.

"Bella, I'm not leaving you alone," he stated. "I'm simply not, it's not an option."

"Then I'm coming with you!" I suggested happily. I had nothing against meeting them again after the long time we'd been separated – I missed them.

He considered the idea for a while, and agreed. It would have to wait until Charlie was asleep though, he would notice if I left.

When he finally was asleep, Edward pulled me onto his back and climbed out from the window. His running was quietly but fast, and soon, we arrived at his house.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: First of all, I'd really like to thank everyone for the reviews!**

**It was very nice to have some constructive critique (sorry if the spelling is bad) in a review; I've had almost only "this is really good!" reviews, and it's nice to hear what I can improve. And since you, TwiTarded, have turned off your personal message function, I hope that you'll read this. I don't have explanations for all of the flaws (this is, after all, a fanfiction) but I'll try my best to explain. **

**Jacob… He's my favorite character, and I think it's very hard to capture his thoughts. I'll try my best to make him more Jacob-y next time I write about him. **

**Edward is so happy to FINALLY be with Bella that he doesn't care about anything else, screw his thirst (literally)! **

**And about Bella, who misses Alice. Well she's a bit greedy here, wanting to be with both Alice and Edward. But I must admit, the part where she wants to meet Alice should be taken forward a few days. I've thought about that too (though I'm not going to change anything major, it's too strenuous)**

**Thanks again and keep reviewing (even if you have constructive critique)**

The house hadn't changed very much, the only thing which was different was that lights now shone in the windows; somebody was home. When I'd been here to see if my hallucinations would continue, everything had been abandoned. Now there were cars in front of the building.

"They're inside," Edward said and put me down on the ground. "Let's go."

I followed him to the door. His pace was quick and eager; he was looking forward to meet them.

The door was unlocked, and he flung it open with a fast motion.

The room looked as if nobody had moved from the house in the first place. The furniture hadn't moved, it smelled just as before and the same atmosphere hovered around the place. I inhaled the familiar smell of the house, home, finally.

Esme looked up from the book she was reading in the living room, and a smile instantly lit up her beautiful face.

"Edward!" She rose and strolled to her son so quickly that her body flickered from the speed.

She embraced him tightly and whispered something that I couldn't make out into his ear. She let go of him unwillingly, and threw her cold arms around me. I hugged her back, inhaling her smell. It was nothing compared to Edward's, but she smelled so familiar, she smelled safe.

"Bella! I've missed you so much," she told me and pulled me harder into her chest. "I'm so glad we're moving back, I've been so anxious about you." She pulled away and by the time she was standing next to me again, three other faces were visible.

"Carlisle." Edward hugged his father with a wide smile on his lips.

They exchanged a few words; Carlisle nodded but then turned to me.

"Bella!" He held his arms outstretched so I could jump into his arms. "How are you?"

"I'm fine thank you," I told him and gave him a quick hug. "And how are you? What have you been doing?"

He pulled away. "I'm fine thank you." I noticed that he didn't answer my later question; it didn't bother me very much though.

"Hi, little sister!" Emmett gave me a big bear hug and crushed me into his chest. "Look at you, looking all… Well you haven't changed much." He grinned.

"In a good or a bad way?" I asked him after he'd released me from his choking grip.

He laughed. "Well, it's good to have you back Bella. I've kinda missed your sweet scent."

Edward growled under his breath after Emmett had uttered the sentence, he shrugged his shoulders at Edward's reaction.

I hesitated when I could see Rosalie. She greeted me with a quick, awkward "hi".

"Hi, Rosalie," I mumbled in reply while looking down on my feet.

But I was also a bit amazed; she had never spoken directly to me before.

By the time I'd greeted everyone, I noticed that their eyes were all crimson black, and the purple color had again emerged from under their eyes. Everybody, except Carlisle and Edward, held a safe distance from me. Unsure on how to react, I walked to stand by Edward side. He took my hand.

As if they all had read my thoughts, Rosalie surprised me with a statement.

"I think we need to go hunting…" Her mouth was in a serious white line. "We shouldn't get this thirsty with Bella around."

They nodded cautiously, embarrassed of the fact that my presence made it difficult for them. I was a bit ashamed too; I didn't want to be the reason to cause the end of their reunion. Edward comforted me by putting his arm around my waist, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. I noticed that his eyes weren't golden anymore; a topaz color had entered his beautiful irises, it didn't make him look less beautiful.

"And Victoria," Edward murmured under his breath.

"I can't believe that she dared to come back." Esme sounded so terrified, but not for herself, for me.

I wondered if they knew about the werewolf pack. Edward must have told them.

"Well it's good that the werewolf pack's been chasing her…" I started.

"WHAT?" Four voices cried out the word in horrified, surprised tones. Oops, they obviously didn't know.

Edward glared down at me with an expression which revealed that he had not wanted me to tell them.

"Werewolf pack?" Esme asked in a confused voice. "Werwolves, in Forks? Again?"

Why did I always have to make the wrong decisions? Why, God, why?

"Well, in La Push at least…" I started hesitantly. "Sam's pack… they've been protecting me from Victoria."

Carlisle eyed me with a surprised look, but not as furious as the other. "Since when?" He sounded very interested in the issue.

"I don't know, since you left?" I wasn't lying, I didn't know very much about the werewolves.

We were all interrupted by the sound of a car near the house. But who would drive here? The question wasn't unanswered for a very long time. Before we had time to react, Alice opened the door with a loud snap. Jasper followed shortly afterwards.

"Werwolves?" She sounded even more surprised than everybody else. "I came as quickly as I saw this conversation. Is it really true?"

Nobody dared to answer, they all looked at me as if I was the one to inform them about the topic.

"Well, in La Push…" I said.

"Why didn't you tell me Bella?" Alice sounded disappointed.

I didn't have an answer; she hadn't asked when we'd been together. It had never crossed my mind.

"I never thought about it."

She snorted at my answer. "That's not an excuse. What should we do?"

No one, not even Edward, had an idea. A thick silence covered the room.

"Well, let's just look for Victoria, we don't have to see the werewolves. They're not disturbing us as long as we don't enter their land." Carlisle's words were well picked – it was a good idea. Even I thought that.

We didn't stay very long, Edward thought that I needed to sleep, and I didn't object when he run me home. Their reaction about the werewolves hadn't been what I'd wished. I left a house with six astonished vampires who were all thinking the same; "What shall we do?"

JACOB

We missed her, again. But this time, it was entirely Sam's fault; it was so not my responsibility. It was all Sam's idea; "Yeah, let's chase her to the beach, then we'll surround her."

But what Sam didn't know was that vampires can swim, yeah, I know, and they're actually extremely good at it, this one wasn't an exception. She just swum away like some kind of cannon, she was in a blur and _way_ to quick for us. Okay, werewolves are pretty good when it comes to swimming too, but she was so much faster than us. Screw Sam's ideas, I'll never listen to him again, the pack will never listen to him again. Well, at least when it comes to catching vampires.

I was running (in my werewolf form) with the pack. It had only been minutes since we had lost Victoria for the _second _time.

_You know Sam; you really suck on being the Alpha sometimes. You really should let me be the leader. _

I know, I know, it wasn't a very nice thought, but I was mad.

_Cool it, Jake, Sam didn't know, we'll catch her. _

Why did _Paul_ of all people, _Paul_, defend him now? Seriously. We _had_ to catch her – Bella was in danger. She wanted _Bella_; we couldn't let Victoria get any closer to her.

Oh Bella, I groaned. I was so _sick_ of those _damn_ leeches – I hated them. Why did Bella have to choose the creatures that I hated the most in the world in front of me? Why did they even exist, those freaks? Running around and sucking blood, seriously, who _does_ that? It's disgusting – vampires are freaks. I. HATE. VAMPIRES. For real.

To lighten up my mood (which was down as a the bottom of the sea) I displayed my kiss with Bella again. These days, it was my only reason for actually wanting to get up in the morning. Bella's warm lips, Bella's hands, Bella's eyes, Bella's face, Bella's lips against mine. I sighed and thought about the moment, it would always be the perfect memory. Bella.

_Eeew! Would you _please_ stop thinking about it Jake, it's driving me crazy! You only kissed _once_, _Embry thought.

_Yeah, seriously, you _have_ to get over her. I know that she's chosen the bloodsuckers over you but you can't go around like this! You have to start dating again man!_

As if he understood at all, nobody could _ever _understand how I felt right now. It was as if someone had ripped my heart into pieces, stomped on them and thrown them into the sea.

_Sam, I so don't need your advice right now, _I thought.

He thought something back to me, but I didn't listen. I didn't need anyone's pity or advice right now – I needed Bella.

My thoughts wandered back to a few days before, when I had told the pack about the bloodsucker's return to Forks. It had been quite violent; Paul (of course, who else?) had been shaking with anger and transformed so quickly that nobody even got the time to open their mouth in surprise. Paul had actually run to Charlie's house to kill Edward (I know, but Paul is Paul). He didn't get the possibility though, since we all caught him in time.

It was still difficult to think about the Cullens without shaking in anger. Vampires and Bella, it repelled in my mind, so why did she have to choose them? WHY? Why was my Bella forever lost?

_Calm down, man!_

_CAN'T EVERYBODY JUST BE QUIET FOR ONE FREAKING SECOND!_

I was surprised with the anger that had so suddenly filled me. The reason was probably the Cullens return. It had been so perfect without them; didn't they see that they didn't belong here? Vampires didn't belong in this world, and they never would.

Edward, I would always hate him, I would always hate that name. He had taken Bella away from me, I growled.

_Seriously man, you have to get more of a life. Is there anything else in your head but her and things concerning her?_

I stopped my running abruptly, changing to my human form.

Why did I hate being a werewolf? Well, the reason is easy: because I can't have my thoughts to myself. I can't think about Bella without being interrupted with a statement about how silly I was to fall in love with a girl and not to imprint on her. That's why I preferred to be in my human form sometimes, I could think about her without being criticized.

Nobody took any notice of my absence; the wolves just kept running in the same direction as before without even looking at me.

I started walking in a steady even pace, without looking back. My thoughts were all about Bella again, sweet Bella. Why did it have to be so complicated? Why couldn't she just realize that she loved _me_? She did, without a doubt; she was desperately in love with me too. The only question was how long it would take for her to realize it.

My stubbornness was a bit surprising, frankly, but I _wasn't_ going to give up. One day, Bella would be mine. One day, we would live happily together, without any bloodsuckers ruining everything. It was nothing but the truth, because Bella and I were meant to be together, nothing else.

It wasn't a long walk home. The only thing that concerned me was if the neighbors were home. If they were, I hope that they wouldn't take notice of a naked sixteen-year old sneaking into his house.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks again for the reviews, and also a huge thank you to everybody who has added this story as one of your favorites. It is awesome that you like what I've written, it's indescribable, and it's the thing that makes you write more. **

**And I'm also sorry that I haven't updated in a while, but it's just that I've had some important things to do. **

Edward sang me to sleep, and memories flashed over me like a sea wave. Of all the times he had sung my lullaby, this one was the time that I appreciated it the most. Our time together had healed all the bruises and scars from his sudden decision to leave me.

When I woke up the following morning, I saw that he wasn't there. My fingers noticed it first; they fumbled around in the bed, looking for his cold body. They found nothing. I slowly opened my eyes and let my gaze wonder around in the room, I was alone.

My first thought was why he had left, when would he come back? I missed him already, now that I knew that he was gone.

But I couldn't help to become a little afraid. Had he left _again_? I prayed silently to myself that he would come back, of course he would. But the doubts still rushed over me. It hurt too much to even think about the fact that he might have left me again.

In that second, I saw how he climbed into my room from the window. He smiled apologetically at me. Relief rushed violently over me, he was back.

"Edward!" I threw my arms around him when the window was a finished chapter in his diary of actions. "Edward!"

He chuckled and I inhaled the smell from his cool stone embrace.

"I'm sorry that I left, Love," he whispered. "I didn't think that you would be awake this early."

I quickly turned around to see what time it was, 7.32.

"What were you doing?" I asked him.

He raised one eyebrow. "Isn't it obvious?"

"No…" I started; I hadn't any idea of what would bring him to leave me in the middle of the night. "Tell me."

"Victoria, of course," he answered in a dark voice.

The name made me shudder. Victoria. Victoria, she was looking for me. Revenge, it sounded like poison in my ears. Victoria wanted to kill me – she wanted to kill Edward. The second of them was my greatest fear; I wouldn't let her touch him. She could do _anything_ with me as long as Edward would be safe. Edward was the only thing that mattered.

I didn't mean to become afraid so easily, but before I could control what was happening I was sobbing silently into Edward's chest. He comforted me by stroking his hands over my back.

"Don't be afraid, Bella, I won't let her hurt you. I promise."

I looked up to meet his topaz eyes, and he slowly wiped away the tears from my face.

"But, but you promised not to leave me… not when Victoria…"

His face lit up as if he had forgotten his promise. I looked at him with a disappointed gaze.

"You promised!" I continued.

He opened his mouth to answer, closed it, and then replied. "But Bella, it's for your safety. Seven is better than six and…"

"But you promised to not leave me," I pleaded. "Please, please don't. Every time I'm separated from you, it's like something ripping me apart. And I," I paused, considering how to put my words. "And I want you safe here."

He flinched. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't care if Victoria kills me," I started, "the only thing that matters is that you're safe Edward."

"Don't say that Bella." His voice showed the confusion he felt as he put one finger on my lips, hushing me. "You know perfectly well that I'm safe. The _only_ thing you should think about is keeping _yourself _safe. Do it for me, Bella. Don't you know that I can't stand losing you again? When I left, all I thought about was you. _You_. All my thoughts circled around things concerning you, and they still are. So _please_ promise me to keep yourself safe in front of everything else."

His words touched me. How could he be so perfect, so unselfish, and so utterly beautiful? On top of it, he was mine, forever. I didn't deserve him.

What was I supposed to answer? I didn't want to let him down by saying that I didn't care about myself, but it felt so selfish and egoistic to let him know that I would look after myself in front of everything else.

"So? Do you promise Bella?" His eyes were pleading, and I couldn't say no.

"Fine," I told him with a sigh. "If that's what you want." He smiled.

I slowly strolled down the stairs to have breakfast, and he followed me without a word with the same smile decorating his face. Charlie had forgotten to put away his dishes, so I quickly did them before starting to eat my breakfast.

"Charlie spends quite a lot of time with Sue…" Edward started and watched me as I chewed my Cheerios.

"I know… Well, I think she hasn't taken Harry's death that well, maybe that's not very strange. It's such tragic situation they're in. She's got two kids you know," I added. "Leah and Seth if I'm not wrong, Charlie mentioned it one time."

He nodded as if he wanted to show me that he had understood. "It's really too bad, even though I didn't know any of them."

"Yeah," I continued to chew my cereal, and an idea started to form in my head. "You know what? I think I should visit them. I mean – I haven't seen Sue in a long time. And then I could stop by Jake's place on the way home." I tried to keep my voice light and positive.

Of course, he knew that I was planning on going to La Push. Still, it was worth a try.

"Bella, we've talked about this. You're not going to La Push, I'm sorry, but you aren't. You're safe in Forks, _with me_. And we don't need any dogs stalking you."

"Jake's not stalking me!" My voice was upset and angry, "How can you say that? He's my _best friend_."

Edward snorted at my reply, and a thick silence fell over us.

Even if Edward would forbid me to go to the reservation, I would. I _needed_ to see Jacob. Jake, how was he? I wasn't sure if it would do him any good if I visited him, since now I knew how he felt about me, but I missed him. Very much. I was also if I afraid of what he might have seen that day outside the house with Edward. How was he feeling?

After breakfast, I went to my room in a quick pace. It didn't take a long time to get dressed; I chose a pair of old jeans, a black sweater and one of my new t-shirts from the shopping trip with Alice.

Edward gave me a look that revealed that he liked what he saw as I strolled down the steps of the stair, but I did my best to ignore him. It wasn't easy, but if my plan would work I would have to.

I casually put on a pair of rain boots – it was raining, of course – and pulled on my yellow raincoat while taking the truck's keys and putting them quickly in my pocket.

"Where are you going, Love?" he asked me as I opened the door.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Nowhere special, why do you wonder?"

He smiled the crooked smile that made my heart flutter, but I did my best to not show what he did to me. I had to act natural, as if what I was doing was perfectly normal and not something that he didn't want me to do.

"Can I come with you?"

I thought a short second about what I should reply. "Nope…" I started hesitantly. "I think I'll go by myself."

"Bella, where are you going?" He grabbed my wrist while asking the question and pulled me gently but firmly away from the door.

"I'm taking the truck," I told him innocently, but he saw through me.

"And exactly _where _are you planning to take your truck? Can I come with you, perhaps?"

"Um, I don't think so," I answered as I pulled my hand away from his light grip around my wrist. "You can stay here, I'll be back soon." I wasn't sure how long it would take to visit Jake, but "soon" sounded like a good word to describe the time I would be gone.

I turned around to open the door again, but before I had time to blink he was standing in front of it, blocking my only way out.

"Just tell me where you're going Bella," he said with a sigh. "With Victoria around, I need to know where you are if I can't come with you. Why can't I come?"

"Because you're not allowed to." I said too quickly to understand that I had revealed my plan.

He seemed to become very puzzled and raised one eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

What was I supposed to answer? He would _never_ let me visit Jake. I had to convince him that I was safe in La Push; he wasn't the only one who could protect me.

"Er, well, because… I…" I took a deep breath, preparing to just tell him. "Why can't you just allow me to visit Jake?"

His face darkened as I told him the truth. I saw how his hands slowly turned into fists, resting down his sides.

"You know why, Bella." His voice was just as dark as his gaze. "It's not safe, you know that."

"It's safe! And you know that!" I paused. "Is this because you're jealous Edward?" He stiffened. "Well, if it is, then I can tell you that I'm not _in love _with Jacob! _I love you_! You're the only one I want! Jacob is my _best friend_, but I love _you_. You're my world. It's just that, I _want_ to see Jacob – I _miss_ Jacob. So why won't you let me see him?" When I was done, I noticed that I had been screaming the entire time.

Edward looked hurt as he answered me with the same dark voice. "I'm not jealous. I want you safe, that's all."

"Oh, Edward," I muttered and threw my arms around him. "I love _you_."

I felt how his arms slid around me, and I snuggled closer to him. "You're the one I want," I whispered into his cool chest. "You _know_ that."

He kissed my hair and slowly pulled away to look at me. "Do you really want to go so badly?" I nodded eagerly; it was hard to believe that I was _so close_ to convince him that I was safe in La Push. "Are you absolutely sure?" I nodded again, and he sighed in defeat. "Alright then, but I'll drive you to the border."

My eyes widened in surprise. "Are you sure?"

He nodded and kissed me lightly on the lips. "I'm sure."

I threw my arms eagerly around him in happiness. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! _Thank you_!" He laughed at my reaction, but I couldn't describe the happiness, which filled me. "I love you, Edward." I whispered into his ear.

And I did, I truly loved him, and I always would.

He drove me to the border, just as he had said. I stepped out of the car when we reached it to take the driver's seat from him.

"I'll be waiting for you," he said and smiled while holding the door open for me. "I'll be in your room."

"All the time?" I asked. Was that the only thing he would do, wait for me? I couldn't help to not feel bad if that was the case, I imagined him sitting on my bed doing nothing. "Aren't you going to do _anything_ else?"

He smiled. "I think I'm going to go on a short hunting trip if that's alright with you." His reply was a relief. "How long are you planning on staying in La Push?"

"I don't know, a couple of hours maybe." I wasn't lying. Frankly, I had no idea how long I would be gone. I wasn't even sure if Jake was home.

"I'll be there when you come home then," he said and pulled me into his arms to give me a kiss. My fingers braided into his hair, but he chuckled and pulled slowly away.

"No," I whispered in a desperate try of getting him to kiss me again.

He chuckled again in reply. "Don't get too greedy Bella."

I sighed and squeezed cold hand. "I'll miss you."

"Go now," he answered simply and gestured towards the car. "Otherwise I might not let you," he added with a smile.

I slowly stepped into the car and waved at him. He smiled and closed the door.

The engine started with a roaring sound, and I started driving against Jacob's house.

"I love you," I whispered, I knew that he would hear me.

While I was driving down the small road to Jacob, I wondered if not Edward's desperate tries of keeping me from La Push mostly existed because he was jealous.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Please keep reviewing! It's awesome to hear if you like it or not. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW.**

**So this chapter will be about Bella and Jake's meeting.**

The drive took only a few minutes after Edward had left. I caught myself thinking about him, missing him, but I quickly put away the thought. Jacob, I was going to spend time with Jacob now, I could think about Edward as much as I wanted later.

Though I couldn't help brooding more about Edward's possible jealousy, was it really true that the only reason of him keeping me from La Push was that he was jealous about Jake? It seemed so absurd in my ears; it didn't seem like Edward at all.

I parked the truck a few feet in front of Billy and Jacob's house. I felt a bit nervous as I went the short distance to the door. It was slightly open, so I decided to go in – someone was probably home. I turned out to be right.

Before I had a chance to greet the possible inhabitants with a "hello", I saw Jake's huge body resting on the couch. He was snoring, very loudly.

I smiled, and decided to keep quiet; I didn't want to wake him. He looked so peaceful, lying there, like a baby. His face was so smooth and calm, I almost wanted to reach out and touch it. The troubled wrinkle on his forehead was gone – he looked so much younger. He looked more like the Jacob I loved, not the worried one he had turned out to be.

I sighed. Why did it have to be so complicated? Why did he have to be a werewolf? Everything would have been so much easier for us then, we could meet without any problems. Edward didn't have to be afraid of me getting hurt (and he might not be jealous too).

The couch looked very inviting, so I carefully pushed his legs away and sat down. In that moment, he muttered something, turned around, and slowly opened his eyes.

At first, it looked as if he didn't understand what was happening. He yawned and stretched his arms out, before he noticed my presence.

"Bella?" he asked, confused. "Bella!" His tone was happier when he realized that I was actually there with him.

"Hi," I greeted him.

He sat up abruptly from his lying position and wrapped his huge arms around me in a hug.

"Bella, I've missed you," he whispered without letting me go from the embrace. "I didn't think the bloodsucker would let you go."

He pulled away and looked into my eyes.

"I convinced him," I said happily, he smiled.

"When did you come here? How long have I been sleeping? I can't believe that I waste my time on sleeping when _you're_ here." He shook his head, and looked at me again. "I'm sorry." He smiled apologetically.

"No, no," I said, "Jake, it's cool. I didn't want to wake you up. You look very peaceful when you sleep, you look like a baby."

He laughed silently. "A baby, you say."

"Yup, you do."

He laughed again. "How long have you been here?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not very long. Two minutes? I don't know."

"Okay, that's good. I'm sorry you had to watch me sleep, I just… Well, I'm a bit tired," he said, after the statement followed a loud yawn. "Victoria doesn't sleep, so… Well, we chase her at night too…"

"Well, um, you won't have to anymore." I started. "The Cullens said that they would take over from here…" I was careful not to talk about it too eagerly; I still wasn't sure about how Jake was feeling about their return.

He snorted; I didn't like the way he reacted. "Yeah, right, as if they could do a better job than us."

I sat quiet after his answer, unsure on what to say. An embarrassing silence filled the room; it was so thick that you almost could touch it.

I didn't know which side I chose, vampires or werewolves. I didn't agree, nor did I protest, on his statement. The Cullens were my _family_, but Jake was my best friend. I loved both sides, if sides even existed.

We were both uncomfortable, and I didn't consider breaking the silence, Jake did it.

"What do you feel like doing?" he asked happily, and then added quieter to himself: "I'm such an idiot, I shouldn't waste the time I have with you, who knows when he'll let me see you again?"

Again, I sat quiet. After all, what was I supposed to answer?

He repeated the question of what I wanted to do.

"Um, I don't know," I said hesitantly. "Your choice…"

"A walk?"

"You know what, I'm really tired of walks." My reply surprised me, but I then saw that it was nothing but the truth; I _was_ tired of walks. It had become an irritating habit in my life, probably because I was out on better things to do.

"Huh, tired of walks…" Jake answered silently. "Wanna hang out in the garage?"

That sounded like a much better idea, it was one of the things I had missed very much. "Sounds awesome," I said. "Great!"

He smiled. It was one of those smiles that belonged to _my_ Jacob, my lovely Jacob. His serious gaze was gone with the wind that moment; it was only he and the perfect white teeth. My heart fluttered in my chest, but I ignored it angrily. What was happening?

I sighed, why did it have to be so complicated?

I saw how he eyed me when I stepped outside the door, and I didn't like his gaze. It reminded me about how Edward watched me, as if I was a prize, as if I was something beautiful to rest the eyes on. I didn't like that Jake looked at me that way, it repelled, it didn't feel right. That's why I did my best to ignore the look he had on his face. I kept my gaze shyly on the ground as we walked the short distance to his garage.

It was a short walk, but Jake still yawned when we got to the garage.

"Are you tired?" I asked him when we got to the garage. "It wasn't a long walk."

"No, it's not that… It's just that I've slept three hours this night… Let's just say it's kinda exhausting, it's not something I would recommend. I'm sorry, but I'm really tired." He yawned again, a bit louder this time.

I felt sorry for him, I didn't want him to chase Victoria if this was the result, he shouldn't be tired. Maybe it was best if I just left, I would let him sleep peacefully in the state that I'd found him, it would be best for him, for Jacob.

"Maybe I should leave," I started hesitantly as he pulled the huge doors of the garage open. "It's probably the best for you, you should sleep Jake."

He replied instantly. "No, no, it's cool Bells," he protested. "I'm fine, just a bit tired…" He was interrupted by a loud yawn.

I sighed at his stubbornness, but decided to not give the idea another try.

"So, do you still have your bike?" I asked, in lack of other things to ask.

"Yup," he answered in a long inhale. "Gonna try to speed up the engine a bit, if you don't mind," he added and smiled at me. "You cool?"

"Sure," I shrugged my shoulders. "Sounds good."

He started fixing with the black bike I'd given to him, and I sat down on the floor beside him. No one uttered a word, but sometimes he would shift his gaze and meet my eyes with a smile. I could feel how my heart again took up the pace as he looked deeply into my eyes, but I did my best to ignore it. It was nothing, nothing compared to what Edward did to me. This was just a small indication of something… something unknown, something unexplored…

"So, where's Billy?" I asked casually.

"At Sue's, Charlie picked him up this morning. Guess he doesn't know that the bloodsucker is babysitting you nowadays."

I flinched; I still didn't like the way he talked about them, as if they were something bad, he was wrong.

I ignored the question and continued instead.

"I feel so sorry for her… I didn't know Harry that much, but still."

He nodded seriously. "I agree, it's really too bad, Harry was such a nice man. Poor Sue, and Seth, and Leah… I've been there a couple of times, it was… Well… But hey, let's talk about something else. How's school? Like, are they back to invading Forks High School now as before, or what?"

"Who?" I asked without thinking.

"The _Cullens_," he spit out the last word.

"Oh, well, I've had spring break this week."

"Oh, right, forgot." He smiled apologetically. "So none of the kids know that the bloodsuckers're back?"

"If that's what you call it," I whispered silently. Why did he have to talk about them with so much hatred? I _loved _them.

He saw how his statement made me sad, and quickly continued:

"Hey Bells, I'm sorry. It's just that… It's just that… Well, it's hard to see you with him like that again. And I'm so happy that you're here," he smiled widely, "but it doesn't make things different. I – it's just so hard. And, I saw you… do you know?"

I sighed. "Edward mentioned something similar yes." I met his gaze. "Outside our house that day?" I whispered. "I'm sorry Jake, I didn't know."

"Well, it's cool I guess. Kinda hard to watch, but still, very intense…" He chuckled. "I'm sorry Bella, but I _have_ to tell you." He paused. "I _love_ you. I really do, for real."

I already knew what he was telling me, but I still inhaled loudly as if I was in shock.

"I'm sorry." He smiled.

"Don't be." I looked down on my feet. "You can't do anything about it, I know how it feels. It can be excruciating."

He sighed and went back to fixing the engine. "It's not just a crush, I know it, it's real, pure. I've never felt this way before…" he trailed off.

And that's what made me realize, those poundings in my heart wasn't imagination, I was in love with Jacob too. I loved Jacob. Not as much as I loved or needed Edward, but I loved him.

The truth hit me like a rocket, it had seemed to be such a far-fetched solution, but I instantly knew that it was true. Tears slowly found their way down my cheeks, and for no actual reason.

"What's wrong Bella?" Jake asked anxiously. "Bella, Bells are you _crying_?"

I laughed silently between my sobs. "Yes," I answered simply. "It looks like it."

"Why?" He rose from his lying position and wrapped his big muscular arms around me. "Tell me," he whispered.

"Because I love you too, Jake. I just haven't realized it. I… I love you Jake."

He pulled away and looked at me as if to see if I really was speaking the truth. And I was – how could he doubt me?

Before I had a chance to react, his lips were on mine. I didn't object, it felt so good. It was even better than that day on the cliff, this was something different – it wasn't just a kiss of sympathy, I meant it.

I instantly loosened my grip around his neck and pulled away, and after a too short time, because it wasn't right. My heart belonged to Edward, and it always would.

I found it quite difficult to let go of Jake though – he was so strong. It was impossible; each time I tried to pull away he wrapped his arms in a stronger grip around my torso. I stopped kissing him, and he saw that something was wrong.

"What?" he whispered.

"Jake, you know I can't."

"Of course you can! Don't say that, your life isn't _only_ about him Bells. You _have_ other friends; you have a life without him. Don't act as if you haven't, you know it's true."

I sighed, he was true, but it was wrong. I couldn't kiss him, I couldn't. Even though I wanted it just as bad as him, I'd given my heart to another.

"I can't, Jake." My gaze shifted to the floor.

He sighed. "I see."

I looked up. "I'm sorry, Jake…"

He smiled weakly. "It's okay, Bells. I'll be fine." I didn't believe the last sentence – I knew that he wouldn't be.

I watched him as he continued his work; another silence had fallen over the room. The quietness made me consider my options, was it possible for me to live a life with both Edward and Jacob? And was I willing to give one of them up? The first question; no, it was impossible. It hurt to know the answer, a life without one of them would be hard. I was willing to give one of them up, but it wouldn't be pain free. I couldn't imagine a life without Edward – it didn't work. That was why Jacob's and mine relationship was without a future.

I gave the boy I loved a pleading look from where I sat – he didn't notice it.

Guilt crawled out from the shadows, and took a firm grip around me. What had I done? _I had kissed Jacob_, it was unforgivable. How could I do such a thing, how could I be so terrible? How would I tell Edward? He would be so hurt; I knew how much he despised Jacob… And what if Edward would hurt Jacob? I couldn't let such a thing happen. I knew how much I would hurt Edward; it stung in my chest as I imagined the look he would get on his face when I told him.

I sighed and asked myself again, what had I done?


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I haven't got much to say, except that this story is slowly moving towards its end, unless anyone has an idea. (okay, maybe half is finished, but still) Feel free to tell me in a review if you think that you've got an idea that will fit good into the story. And keep reviewing, please! I love reviews! (who doesn't? but still) And also, sorry if it has taken a while since my last chapter, I just have had a lot to do. It will probably take a while to the next update too, but I will write as much as I can.**

I felt how the guilt slowly but securely grabbed me as I thought about the kiss.

Jake had fallen asleep where he was working on his bike. I smiled as I saw how the peaceful look on his face appeared. He should always look like that, always.

I decided to go home, I felt guilty. It was best to just do it, to just tell Edward that we had kissed. I was positive about the fact that he would be furious, but I could impossibly go around pretending as if nothing had happened. It would eat me from inside.

I tried to be as quiet as possible as I left the room, and to my relief, Jake didn't wake up. I looked at him one last time before I left. He was beautiful where he was lying.

When I returned to the truck, I saw that Billy was rolling his way up the parking lot.

"Hi," I said and waved insecurely at him.

"Well, hello Bella!" he said and rolled the wheelchair a bit further forward. "Mind giving me a hand with this?" He pointed at the wheelchair. "That lazy son of mine didn't come to greet me as you see." He continued as I rolled the wheelchair up to the house. "Are you leaving this early? Where's Jake anyway?"

"Er – he fell asleep at the garage. I don't think he had that much sleep this night."

Billy muttered something under his breath. "Yeah, you're right. If I had to decide, he would be with his pack a lot less. He's leaving me home alone, you see."

By the time he had finished speaking, I had securely sat him in the living room.

"Thanks Bella."

"No problem," I said. "I, well I have to leave now, have some stuff to do." I smiled weakly. "Bye."

He nodded in understandingly. "It's fun to have you here Bella. Come back soon." He gave me a meaningful look, and I could swear that he was trying to tell me something; that I shouldn't spend too much time with the Cullens. He obviously knew that they were back, but how could he?

His gaze made me feel as if someone had punched me in the face, so I walked briskly to the truck without uttering a word.

I drove as slowly as possible back to Forks. I dreaded for the moment when I would have to tell Edward about what I had done, it was unforgivable. I couldn't believe how I could do such a thing. Even though I knew that I had feelings for Jacob, it wasn't an excuse for kissing him.

I sighed at myself, how could I be so stupid? Edward would be so hurt; I hated the way I knew he would react. The look on his face that was excruciating to me, and how he would try to hide his feelings and tell me how he didn't mind.

A surprise met me when I drove across the border a silhouette met me a few feet after it. I knew instantly that it was Edward, and I sighed again. Of course I was happy to meet him, but now I'd have to tell him.

He was smiling to me, and I stopped the car. He was next to me in seconds.

It was he who opened the door, and he smiled even wider.

"Hello," he said happily and gave me a light kiss on the lips. "Bella, you absolutely _reek_ of werewolf." He wrinkled his nose as he pulled away.

I smelled insecurely on my arm to see if I smelled bad, but I didn't.

"I don't smell bad!" I said. Personally, I thought that I smelled quite good, I smelled like Jake.

He didn't answer.

"Why aren't you at home?" I asked, not wanting to bring up the kiss quite yet.

"Charlie got back home," he said simply.

"'Key," I answered.

He smiled. "Are you disappointed?"

"No, not at all. I was just expecting to meet you in my room, that's all." For once, I was speaking the truth.

"Sorry," he whispered and kissed me again, more deeply this time. It was difficult to pull away, but I managed to. It felt wrong to kiss him before I had told him about Jake.

"Why are you pulling away?" he breathed into my face when I released my arms' lock around his neck. "I thought this was what you wanted, Love. _I_ want it, badly," he added with a chuckle.

"This _is_ all I wanted," I replied and pulled further away from him, very reluctantly. "It's just that… I need to tell you something."

I looked hesitantly at him. He didn't seem to notice that something was wrong. Instead, he just smiled his crooked smile at me, and I could feel my heart flutter. How did he do that to me?

"I…" I was so embarrassed. I didn't know where to begin, and what to say. Edward would be furious no matter what I told him. But mostly, he would be hurt. So hurt. I was almost on the verge of tears when I thought about the look he would have on his face.

"What?" He smiled, dazzling me.

"I was with Jake this afternoon," I started hesitantly.

"I know that Bella, why are you sounding so afraid? Did he do anything to you?" His voice grew darker in the last sentence.

"No," I answered quickly. "It's just… I – I think I'm in love with him."

"What?" He couldn't hide the surprise in his voice.

And there it was, the look on his face that I had been dreading to see the whole afternoon. His lips turned into a white line, and his, now golden, eyes were not full of liquid. It looked as if they were hard as stone.

My lip started to tremble when I saw him like that, and one small tear found its way down my cheek. He wiped it away before I had time to react.

"What are you saying?" he whispered. "Do you want me to leave? I can, just tell me and I'll be gone, forever."

"No, no no! _NO_! No, don't leave me again, never." I stepped out of the car on unsteady legs and threw my arms around him. I sobbed silently against his chest. He comforted me and caressed my back, but I could see that he was confused.

"Don't you love me anymore?" he whispered, and I heard that he couldn't hide the disappointment, the grief in his voice. I couldn't stand it; there weren't any words in the world to describe the throbbing pain in chest.

"Of course I still love you," I whimpered. "I can never stop loving you. You're the most important thing in my life. I love you, forever."

"I don't understand," he whispered into my hair. "You told me you were in love with Jacob."

"Not as much as I'm in love with you," I persisted desperately. "I love you."

He flinched. "I still don't understand."

"We kissed," I whispered silently. "I couldn't do anything about it, it just happened." I looked up at his beautiful face; a dark shadow was covering his eyes. I could see how disappointed he was. "I'm sorry, I thought about you all the time Edward. I'm sorry," I repeated. "I love you, forever."

"And I love you," he said darkly. "But I still don't understand. Do you want to be with him?"

"I want to be with you, always," I said quickly. I was a bit surprised; he wasn't furious but it was even worse to know how hurt he was. That was even worse. I could take it if he was angry with me, but the fact that I had caused the look on his face was more than painful. "What can I do to make you happy again?" I said silently. "I'll do anything for you."

"Never mind," he said and sighed. "What's been done has been done. But if you only want to be friends, I will understand, it's your choice completely."

Was he never going to get that he was my _life_? "I want you forever Edward. I'm just sad because I can never satisfy Jacob, he can never be more than my friend. I choose to give my life to you, Edward, _you_."

He chuckled under his breath, and I saw that his sad expression on his face had gradually begun to fade away. "Marry me, then," he said, just loud enough so I could hear. "Then we'll be together forever.

"What?" I took one step back and backed into the truck's door. Had he just asked me to marry him? It felt as if a cage with butterflies had been released inside my body and flew around inside of me. I felt like jumping up and down with joy, did he really want me enough to marry me?

There was nothing else in the world that I would rather do than marry him. To say the enchanted words that would unite us forever, I do. The thought of him and me together forever made my knees fold under me. It was like a dream coming true; nothing, nothing at all, could make me not want to marry him. He was so beautiful where he was watching me, smiling widely. I forgot how to breathe.

I couldn't help it, but I immediately smiled widely. "Are you serious?" I whispered, but not because I was afraid or unhappy, because I was so glad. "Do you want to marry me?" My voice was hoarse at the last word. "Me, Bella Swan?"

He chuckled and pulled me closer to him. "Of course, I love you. There's nothing else I want to do right now."

And then, with no gesture to warn me about what was going to happen, he went down on one knee and looked deeply into my eyes. "I don't really have a ring," he muttered apologetically as he took my hand in a firm but gentle grip. The gesture made me catch my breath. I couldn't believe what was happening. Was Edward really proposing to me?

"Isabella Marie Swan," he started, and I realized how small tears started running down my cheeks. Was I really the one to cry right now, I had never thought I would? But I couldn't deny it; I wanted him just as badly as he wanted me. "I love you, no matter what happens. I will love you forever, and I hope that you will love me too. There's nothing more important in my life than you. That's why I'm asking you, would you –." He paused, looked down at the ground, and then back to my face again. "Will you marry me?" he said and smiled the crooked smile that he knew I loved.

At first, I was too stunned, too amazed, to understand what had happened. I just opened my mouth with a loud pop. Then I realized that he was waiting for my answer, and I exclaimed:

"_Yes! _Yes, Edward. I love you, of course I will marry you, I –." He rose from his position on one knee and stopped me there, putting one finger on my mouth.

"Shh," he hushed me. "That's all I needed to hear." And then, he kissed me like he had never done before. There were definitely no boundaries, and I felt healed from every single bruise I had had from his abandonation immediately.

He pressed me into the car's door, and I could feel how every inch of my body was pressed against his. His gentle fingers were braided into my hair, and I was never going to let go of my grip around his neck, I didn't want the moment to end. Never had I been so happy.

I almost fainted, right then and right there. I immediately knew then, that this was the happiest moment I had had in my entire life. To know that I was going to spend my entire life with Edward was overwhelming; there was nothing to compare it with, nothing. It was all just pure happiness.

He slowly pulled away, and placed three kisses on different spots in my face. When he took a small step back, I instantly followed and wrapped my arms around his cold torso.

"Thank you," I whispered into his chest.

"For what?" he asked as he wiped away the last tears from my face.

"For everything, everything you've given to me. Thank you, I love you. I just, I can't put in words how grateful I am."

He kissed my forehead gently. "The only thing that matters is you."

In that exact moment, a topic, which definitely was worth thinking through, crossed my mind. Charlie didn't even know that Edward was back, and now, all of a sudden, we were engaged. I could only imagine his reaction, but I was sure about the fact that it wouldn't be pleasant.

"How about Charlie then?" I asked as he came closer to kiss me again.

He chuckled. "Is that really what you are thinking about right now?" He smiled the crooked smile that I loved, and it was suddenly very hard for me to stand on my legs. Would I ever grow immune to the effect he had on me? Not if I could decide, I didn't want it to go away.

"No, of course not," I said, a bit embarrassed. "I just –."

"It's fine," he interrupted me. "It's just not what I was thinking about."

"And what is that?" I teased him and wrapped my arms around his neck, placing a small kiss on his lips.

"I was thinking about how breathtakingly, menacingly beautiful you are right now."

"I'm nothing compared to you," I whispered while leaning my head against his neck.

He chuckled under his breath. "You don't know what you're talking about."

**A/N: Oooooh! Edward proposed!!!!! Review please! And sorry for any spelling mistakes. **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks for all reviews! Chapter 12 is now finished, yay! This chapter's a bit longer than usual, hope you like it. Sorry it has taken a while to update, but I've kind of got my hands full at the moment. The part where Charlie finds out didn't really fit, so the next chapter will handle that drama, or not. Who knows? Please review!**

I was going to marry Edward. It felt as though it not yet had sunken into my system. _At last_, I could show everyone that he was _mine_, and only mine.

The night after his proposal, I couldn't sleep. I was very occupied and captured in my own thoughts, which had started to circle around the issues that had lain hidden under more current wonderings. I was quite sure, though, that Edward didn't notice anything of my preoccupation since I pretended to sleep all the time.

One thing that I was wondering over especially was my eager wish to become a vampire. How would the wedding affect my desire of becoming like Edward? I hoped that it would only help me to convince him that it was what I _wanted_. Because it was all true, there was _nothing_ else I would rather do, except to marry Edward of course. An eternity with Edward would be my heaven, my paradise.

We had decided to not tell Charlie that day; instead, we would tell him the next day, after school. I was still worried about how he would react; we didn't really have an explanation for why Edward hadn't come to visit me.

The engagement would have to wait to become public. I didn't mind at all though, the most important thing was that we both knew that we were soon to be husband and wife.

It felt a bit strange though, to introduce Edward as my _husband_. I wanted it, but I couldn't help to feel a bit… old. Married at eighteen, what would Reneé say? And that's when it occurred to me. _Reneé_. I hadn't even thought about her and her great loath for young marriages. Oh no, how could I tell her?

"Edward," I whispered out in the dark.

"What?" he asked and turned his face towards me.

"Something just occurred to me."

"And what was that?" he wondered, and I could see that he was smiling in the dark. I lit the lamp beside my bed so I could see his beautiful face better. He was smiling widely, and my heart immediately skipped one beat. He stretched out his hand and caressed my cheek slowly.

"I – Reneé _hates_ young marriages," I started hesitantly. "She'll freak out, literally and…"

"Does it change your mind?" he asked, and I saw that his smile decreased a bit.

"No, of course not." I was quick to reply, I didn't want him to get the wrong impression. There was nothing that would change my mind about the marriage, nothing. Frankly, I was worried about her reaction because I was afraid. I didn't want my mother to dislike me, even though I deep down knew that she would still love me even if I got married.

"Then why are you worrying? I'm not planning to get married tomorrow, Bella. I just want a confirmation that you want me too, that's all." He planted a soft kiss on my cheek. "The thing you should think about right now is Charlie. I am quite sure that he will dislike our reunion, very much."

I sighed. "Yeah, I've figured that out too."

"But don't think about that now, Love," he said in a soothing voice. "Sleep now, it's far past midnight."

"I've actually been awake all this time," I admitted. "I couldn't sleep, I was worrying too much."

He chuckled. "Well, I guess it's time for you to go to bed now."

I nodded. "Yeah, that's probably for the best."

I dreamed about Jake that night. About his disappointed, sad face when he found out about the engagement. I dreamed about how he would hate me after the wedding, and never speak to me again, it was a nightmare, a terrible nightmare.

He was walking, briskly, away from me. Away from the wedding, all the waiting people, away from the bride, me. I cried after him, but he didn't turn around. I started running after him, but Jake suddenly disappeared. Left was only the vague shape of a wolf, running into the forest.

I woke when Edward tightened his grip around me, and my eyelids flew open immediately.

I cast one quick gaze at the clock resting on the table beside my bed, 6.03. Edward gave me a worried look, and I replied it with a weak smile.

"Nightmare?" he asked while kissing my forehead.

I nodded and snuggled closer to his chest. "Yes, how did you know?" I whispered.

"You were mumbling, and moving anxiously. I'm sorry I waked you; it was just very unpleasant to watch. What were you dreaming about?"

I hesitated, not knowing why. In one way, it would be embarrassing to tell him that I had dreamed about Jake, and the wedding. "Nothing," I said, trying to sound neutral.

He seemed to accept that reply quite well.

"How – are you going to school with me?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yes, I hope so. I think Carlisle has been talking to the school. It took him some time, since we are starting again on this short notice, but I think it will be all right. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper won't be in school of course, I think Rosalie and Emmett are moving out," he added.

"Yeah, I know. They weren't in school when you…" I couldn't bring myself to say, "left", it brought up too many painful memories. I almost started to cry, right then and there, because the subject was so sensitive to me. How had I survived without Edward, I couldn't understand how that was possible?

Edward quickly understood, "Yes, I know."

An embarrassing silence fell over the room, and I rose from the bed to get dressed.

"Don't you want to sleep a bit more?" Edward asked as I picked up a pair of jeans from the floor.

I shook my head. "I don't think so, I'll just be more tired when I wake up."

He nodded, and without thinking, I stripped out of my pajamas. When I realized that Edward was in the room, I blushed violently and looked down at my half naked body.

I opened my mouth, not knowing what to say, and looked at Edward who had rose from the bed and was on his way out of the room.

"Oops," I whispered quietly to myself and pulled on a t-shirt before I stopped Edward from leaving. "You can't leave my room, Charlie might see you!" I took his hand and pulled him back into my room. "And, well, sorry about that," I said after I had closed the door, looking down on the ground. Without a doubt, my face had turned red as a tomato.

He chuckled and pulled me into his arms. "You have nothing to apologize for, Love. I was the one who couldn't take my eyes off you,_ I_ should say that I'm sorry." He smiled. "But I'm not."

His words made me blush even more, and I looked embarrassed down on my feet. "I didn't think about that you were here."

"Oh, I didn't mind at all," he answered with a chuckle as I looked into his face. "One time has to be the first."

I didn't no what to say, so I kissed him lightly on his lips. He chuckled and captured my lips with his again, lifting my arms up and putting them around his neck. He put one hand on my back, pressing me to him, and another braided slowly into my hair.

I gasped for air as his lips started to found their way down my neck, and I could feel how my blood pulsed violently around in my body. Too soon, he pulled away.

"No," I whimpered, trying to snuggle closer to him again.

"That's enough for now," he answered. "Get dressed, Bella. Charlie's up."

In the same second, I heard how Charlie's door creaked, and how steps slowly found their way down the stairs. He didn't want to wake me, too bad that his effort was pointless, since I was already up.

"Can't we stay here until he leaves?" I suggested hopefully.

He shook his head. "As much as I want to, it's not possible, he won't leave that early. You should go down and make him company, instead."

"But what will you do?" I asked, and I didn't even try to hide the disappointment in my voice.

"I'll go and get some new clothes, I'll be outside in the second Charlie leaves."

"Alright," I said, and he gave me a quick kiss before disappearing out of the open window. "I miss you already." Even though he was gone, I knew that he could hear me.

Before I left my room I could swear that I heard him chuckle quietly outside, and I felt an impulse of running after him.

Charlie was sitting downstairs, chewing on a small sandwich at the kitchen table.

"Hi," he grunted when I came downstairs, and yawned loudly.

"Hi," I answered without enthusiasm, and fetched a plate.

It felt as if the breakfast would never end. I didn't know if I was just imagining, but Charlie ate painfully slowly. When he finally got outside the door, I sighed loudly in relief; just a few more seconds until I could see Edward.

When the familiar sound of Charlie's cruiser backing out reached me, I rose quickly from my chair and ran to the window. And he was already there, with the same silver Volvo he used to get me in. Sweet memories of the previous year rushed over me, how incredible my life had been with him, how incredible my life _was_ with him.

I remembered the first time he had come to get me in the Volvo, the time that I had realized that I more than loved him.

Edward was leaning against the car door with his gaze locked at the window – he was smiling at me. The gesture made me run towards the door, and I barely got to tie my shoelaces until I heard loud knock on the door. I flung it open, and there he was, my only angel.

It felt as though we had been separated for a too long time, even though I had seen his stunning face minutes ago. He was so beautiful, wearing a simple grey t-shirt under his usual jacket.

"Hello," he greeted me with a smile etched upon his perfect face.

He insisted on driving me to school, and for once, I didn't object. I was too happy, this was my ideal life, like it had been a year ago.

Alice was waiting in the backseat, and it made me happy to see her again, I had missed her too, it just hadn't been that obvious in my mind. I had been too busy with concentrating on the proposal and Charlie's reaction of Edward's return that I hadn't had the time to focus on other things.

"Hi, Bella," she exclaimed as I stepped into the car, and her pixie-like figure appeared into my eyesight.

"Alice, hi!" In a desperate attempt of trying to hug her, I stood on my knees on the seat and leaned my body towards her.

She replied my spontaneous hug, and laughed at my clumsiness as I fell down when she released me.

I wished that the distance between my house and school had been longer when he parked the car; I wanted more time with him and Alice.

I didn't take any notice at the staring people around us at first, but when I stepped out of the car, I noticed that almost every face in the entire parking look had drawn their attention to our arrival. Embarrassed, I blushed at the staring persons, and Edward put his arm around my shoulders in a comforting gesture. Alice walked happily beside us, and didn't seem to notice the staring crowd.

In the corner of my eye, I could see Jessica's surprised face together with Angela and Mike's. Tyler, Lauren, Ben and Eric were standing next to them, but they didn't look as surprised. Lauren was eyeing me with a more jealous, despising look, Tyler with a puzzled gaze, as if he wasn't sure about that what he was seeing was real, Tyler and Ben looked pleased at my now noticeable happier mood. Mike was looking at Edward as if he was some foreign celebrity, and at me with an astonished look, Angela looked pleased at our reunion, but I couldn't deny that she looked very taken aback. Jessica looked confused, and surprised. There was something more in her gaze, something that I couldn't make out…

"Don't mind their staring," Edward whispered into my ear, then he seemed to clear his throat, and he looked around cautiously. "Bella, I'm just going to go and change my schedule. I'll be at your first class."

"Why are you going to change your schedule? Have you even received a new schedule at all?" I asked.

"I want it to look exactly like yours," he replied, smiling.

"Oh." I hadn't thought about that, and I was pleased that he had. "But how? Can you just step in there and change your entire schedule?"

"Only if I use my male charm," he answered with a chuckle.

"Hey!" I tried to tell him, but he was suddenly walking away from me, and I sighed.

_You're going to see him in a few minutes Bella_, I tried to tell myself, but I still felt very hopeless as Alice followed me to my waiting friends.

"Hi," I said, embarrassed as I walked towards the astonished faces.

"Wha – how – when?" Mike asked, without even saying "hi". Even I could tell that he was trying to hide his disappointment, something he didn't succeed very well on doing.

"Hi, Mike!" Alice answered happily. "Carlisle didn't really like it in Los Angeles, so we moved back here," she said in her sugar sweet voice. "We came back two days ago."

Mike looked as if he hadn't heard what she had just said.

"Bella, hi!" Angela had awakened from her trance and embraced me while giving me a meaningful gaze; she was just as curious as Mike.

Jessica gave me a quick, awkward hug too, but I noticed that Lauren avoided me on purpose. It didn't surprise me, nor did it make me feel uncomfortable, I had never liked Lauren. I noticed that she had a new haircut; her hair was shorter, almost boyish in a way. It reminded me of Alice, though she looked terrible in her new coiffure. Alice, on the other hand, looked incredible (what else?). I laughed silently at her new style – frankly, it looked ridiculous. I concentrated hard on not showing her what I thought though, I wasn't mean and I wasn't planning to become that.

Lunch was even more terrible than the meeting in the morning. The only positive thing that had happened was that Edward had managed to reschedule his classes so that we would always be together. I didn't know how he had managed, and I didn't actually want to know.

The teachers seemed quite surprised to see that Alice and Edward were back in their classrooms. Nobody seemed to have a problem with it though, and I was relieved for that.

I couldn't deny the fact that it was literally wonderful to be back in school with Edward. The only thing that irritated me a little bit was Jessica, Mike, Lauren, Tyler and Eric's constantly staring gazes. It made me feel very uncomfortable, and I think that both Edward and Alice noticed that.

Angela and Eric were the only ones who started to act normal after they had melted most of the chock. That was one of the main reasons for why I didn't skipped the rest of the day, everyone else were getting me on my nerves, literally. At lunch, I felt for punching Mike in the face because he asked so stupid questions. I just wanted to sink in to the floor; it was junior high all over again.

"How long are you staying?" Mike asked Alice, it was noticeable that he ignored Edward as much as he could. I had stopped counting his many unnecessary questions.

"We've moved back here, I told you before Mike," Alice answered, and it was easy to tell that she was trying hard to not sound rude.

Mike nodded, but it seemed as if the words still hadn't sunken into his system.

We were all sharing the same table, and the only ones who were speaking to each other were Alice and Mike, everybody had stopped listening to their conversation a long time ago.

I was sitting next to Edward and Angela, who smiled at me insecurely under the entire lunch, as if to assure me that she thought Mike was acting shockingly exaggerated too.

From time to time, someone would try to start a conversation with me, probably because they didn't dare to talk to Alice or Edward. Though, every time, I only replied short answers, and only spoke when I had to. That was probably the reason for why they stopped trying to talk to me.

Angela followed us to the car after school, and it was nice to talk casually to someone again after everything that had happened to me the previous days. She was nice, without a doubt, she was one of my only real friends in school.

"And, Bella, I was thinking. Well, do you wanna go see a movie with me and Ben this weekend? I was just thinking, it was a long time since we hang out," Angela said when the silver Volvo was noticeable for human eyes. "And you could bring Edward too. If you like…" she added, a bit awkward.

Alice and Edward were walking a few feet in front of us, but neither of them seemed to hear our conversation, even though _I_ knew that it was not the entire truth.

I considered what she had said before I answered. It sounded very nice, as long as Lauren and Mike – who had been added to that list after the lunch – weren't a part of it I was open for all suggestions. And of course, the fact that Edward was going to come too was very inviting.

"That sounds great, Ang, I'd love to come, and I'm sure Edward would love to come too," I replied after a few moments of consideration.

She smiled, obviously relieved.

"We'll have so much fun!" I continued, speaking the truth the entire time. "How about Saturday?"

She nodded. "Saturday's great! See you tomorrow then, bye!" She waved at me as I opened the backseat door to Edward's car.

The moment I had been dreading for the entire week was now coming, and I wished that I were more prepared. Charlie was going to find out about Edward today, and I was suddenly very grateful that he was working until seven.

"It's going to be fine, Bella," Edward soothed me as he started the engine. In that moment, I wondered if he actually _could_ read my thoughts. Though he probably couldn't. If he could, then he would know how wrong I knew this would go.

**A/N: Dadaaaaaaaah! Dramatic! Sorry if this chapter wasn't very well written, but I hope you'll survive. Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! 7 this time, new record! That's awesome, please review more, it's great to read your opinions. This chapter is also going to be a bit longer than usual, I think it's actually the longest ever! Okay, something very unexpected is going to occur in this chapter… What could it be? Haha, read to find out!**

"That Newton kid is really getting on my nerves," Edward said after a few moments of silence. "How do you keep up with him Alice?"

She laughed; the sound was like music for my ears. "I don't know, actually. It's quite clear that he is avoiding you, Edward."

"Well, if you're lucky, then he'll get over his fear for me, and stops stalking you with questions and starts with me instead."

I wasn't able to be a part of the amusing situation; I was too worried, too afraid. When I thought about it, it was a bit silly, Charlie was my father; I shouldn't be so afraid of what he would do. He would never do something on purpose that would make me upset or sad. But I couldn't help fearing for Edward's life, even though Charlie could impossibly do him any physical harm.

"What's up with the silence, Bella?" Alice asked, obviously trying to get me on a better mood.

"Bella, it's going to be fine. I promise," Edward said and looked me deeply into my eyes. I had to admit that his gaze was very soothing.

"All right then," I answered and leaned back against the seat.

"And it's not as if we're telling him about the engagement, right?" Edward continued quickly. Alice, of course, acted immediately.

"WHAT?" she cried, her eyes widened to max. "YOU GUYS ARE GETTING _MARRIED_?"

Uh-oh.

"How come I didn't see this?" she banned herself. "I _always _check up on you two, _always. _And I didn't even see Edward proposing? How could I have missed that? How? It's _huge_! So, when's the wedding?"

"Um," I started and looked at Edward for suggestions. "Alice, we're not getting married anytime soon actually…"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?" she started to scream again. "Bella, _please, please, please, PLEASE, _let me fix your wedding. _Please._ Bella, if you love me, then let me do your wedding."

"Alice, frankly, I don't know. I don't want anything formal or huge, I just want family and a few friends maybe…"

"Out of question, Bella." She crossed her arms across her chest.

I gave Edward a furious look from where I sat, which said that I banned him for telling Alice. He just smiled apologetically, but when he did – it was impossible to be mad at him anymore – he was so beautiful.

The way back home could have been a lot more pleasant. Alice was constantly nagging about doing our wedding. And Edward could have been a lot more helpful, but he just kept driving with a smirk glued onto his face. I would often turn to him for help, but he would just shook his head and smile wider.

I had no other choice but to agree to Alice demand, and she instantly became satisfied.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" she repeated, so eager that it was almost silly. "Bella, you are the _best_! You're even better than _Edward_," she added playfully. "Bella, _thank you_! Not that I would have taken no for an answer, but still! I'll be forever grateful!"

I just laughed at her exaggerated gratitude, for me it wasn't a big deal. The only thing that I was worrying about was if she would do the wedding in a way that I wouldn't like at all; big, expensive, with a lot of people.

Insecure if I should tell her my worries about the wedding, I opened my mouth several time without saying anything. I cleared my throat, interrupting Alice's cheers of joy. "Okay, Alice, just so you know I have a few conditions if you're doing our wedding."

"Here she goes," she muttered, but still not letting go of the smile on her face.

"I do _not_ want an expensive, huge nor crowded wedding. Got it?"

Her smile decreased for half a second, but then it was back again. "Fine," she said. "If you want to be boring, then. But don't come complaining to me in a few years, you only get married _once_."

I muttered something so lowly under my breath that I was quite sure that not even Edward could hear, and I guess that was good since the words weren't what you would call nice.

"You should be happy that you're even _allowed _to do our wedding," Edward broke the silence with.

Alice didn't answer him; instead she crossed her arms childishly across her chest with an ugly grimace spread across her otherwise beautiful face.

Charlie wasn't home when we arrived; he was working to seven that day, something that I was very grateful for. I would have time to prepare the breaking news, and also plan how it all was going to happen.

Alice and Edward followed me inside, and it was nice to have them together in my house again. It was soothing, familiar, comfortable, the exact opposite to how I had felt the months before their return. Finally, I was happy, I was complete again. No pieces of the puzzle were missing, the picture was clear, and both Edward and Alice were on it together with the rest of the Cullens.

We were sitting at the kitchen table; doing the few home works we had received the first day of school after the free week.

"How are we going to do this?" I asked anxiously as Edward finished the last of his home works. "He'll freak out, more than freak out. Do we really _have_ to do it?"

He chuckled under his breath. "It's going to be fine, Love. And yes, we _have_ to do this. You can't keep me hidden from Charlie forever, it's better like this."

I snorted at his empty words; both he and I knew perfectly well that this was not going to end well, even Alice would had to be positive to the fact that Charlie would be closer to getting a heart attack than ever before.

The hours flew by, even though I tried very hard to not think about what would come. I was shaking when the clock was five to seven, and I swore that I saw Edward flinch when he locked at his watch. There was no time left.

Though when twenty minutes had passed since his estimated arrival, I became a little uncomfortable. Why couldn't we get this over with already? Edward smiled soothingly at me all the time, and I tried to ignore my silly worries. Charlie was going to come any time soon. Though wouldn't he have called if he knew that he was going to be late? When thirty more minutes had passed, I decided to call his office to see if everything was alright.

Edward and Alice both seemed convinced that Charlie was fine, but I still wanted to be sure that he would return soon.

After five signals, a familiar voice answered.

"Forks's police." I recognized Larry's voice at once, he had worked with Charlie as long as I could remember.

"Hi Larry, it's Bella," I answered, trying to sound calm and to my senses.

"Oh hi, Bella. It's been a long time since you called…"

"Yeah, well…" I started, biting my lip at the lack of ideas to say. "I was just wondering, when did Charlie leave? If he has. He was supposed to be home by seven… Just wondering where he is. He usually isn't late without calling," I said awkwardly.

"Oh, yeah, well he left thirty minutes ago… Isn't he home yet? He left a bit early this evening, mumbling something about not being late to dinner. He was in a pretty foul mood."

That was surprising. "Oh, really? He isn't home…" Anxiety hit me; I sensed that something wasn't right. I could feel it, the feeling was indescribable, I just knew that something had happened to him… The question was what, and why.

"Listen Bella, I gotta run now, but I'm sure he'll come home any minute, probably just taking a quick drop by at the gas station… Bye!" It seemed reasonable, I had to admit that, but the same feeling was still there. It was as if it was clinging onto my chest, unwilling to let go. When I tried to remove it, it growled in anger and immediately took a firmer grip around me. I couldn't ignore it; it was a part of me. A part of me that _knew_, it knew that something wasn't right.

"Oh, okay, bye then."

I hung up without a word, stunned. Something had happened to him. Without thinking, I went for the door. Just as I grabbed the keys to my truck, I was interrupted.

"Bella, where are you going?" Edward asked, sounding as if I was the silliest person on earth. "He's fine, he'll come home any second you'll see. This is just unnecessary," he continued while grabbing my wrist and pulling me into his arms.

He kissed my forehead, and chuckled when I tried to escape his firm grip around my waist. "What's the rush?" he whispered into my ear as though Alice wasn't present.

I muttered something under my breath and tried to break free again, this time, he let me go.

"Bella, he'll be here in a minute!" Edward protested as I opened the door.

"I _know _there's something wrong, I know it. Just let me go!" I answered stubbornly and placed my arms across my chest in a childish gesture.

Edward sighed in irritation and quickly put on his shoes. "Fine, then, but I'll come with you."

Content with his answer, I stepped outside and ran towards my truck, not noticing that Alice silently followed us both.

When both Edward and I went for the driver's seat, my bubble cracked.

"Will you please let me drive, okay?" I muttered angrily. "I _know_ something's wrong, we have to find him. I _know_ something's wrong. He never comes home late without calling, never." Small tears started running down my cheeks, and I couldn't bring myself to stop crying. Something was wrong, why wouldn't he believe me? Why wouldn't he believe me when I told him that I knew?

Edward looked at me with an expression I couldn't read. Was it anger? Compassion? Was he worried? Would he finally believe me? We stared at each other, I with a pleading, desperate look, wanting him to believe me so badly, just this once. I wanted him to help me – I needed him. Edward was looking at me with the same hard expression, which I couldn't make out. I didn't know how long we were gazing at each other; it was as if time had stopped. It didn't move until Edward would finally believe my words, it was under my command.

And then, like out of nowhere, Alice appeared beside me. She gave Edward another illegible look, which only confused me more. Were they sharing a private conversation in Alice's head? Why couldn't I be a part of it? Even though I was a stupid, fragile, weak human, why couldn't I be allowed to hear the words that they were sharing?

Edward sighed, as though he had been defeated, and turned to me. His gaze was changed now, the look wasn't unreadable anymore, he was worried, like me. Finally.

Without saying a word, he turned around and walked for the seat beside the driver's. I sighed in relief, a silent argument, how good.

"I know there's something wrong," I whispered as the engine roared to life.

"Just drive," Edward said in a low voice, I didn't know if the tone was angry.

And so I did, I drove. I drove to the Fork's sheriff, and back again, without any gain. No police cruiser was parked outside the office; no police cruiser was parked outside the school, the restaurant or the small gas station. Charlie was as gone with the wind.

With the panic rising higher and higher inside my chest, my last hope was that he would be home, safe and home.

Of course, no car was waiting outside the house. I had been right, something had happened to him. Something that I had been too late to stop.

"What are we going to do?" I sobbed desperately, cradling to Edward's chest as we opened the door.

And for once, no one answered with a soothing reply about how he would be home any minute. Because both of them knew that I had been right all along. Charlie was gone, and we had realized it too late.

The silence fell over us like a thick dark cloud as we entered the quiet house. It didn't last long, since the phone started to ring the minute we all had stepped over the threshold.

"Mmm…" someone purred into the phone as I picked it up.

"Hello?" I asked, confused. What was happening? Who was calling me? I didn't feel like talking to anybody, the only thing that was on my mind right now was to find out where Charlie was.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, not so quickly," a smooth velvet voice, which obviously belonged to a woman, said to me. "One thing at a time… At first, we can discuss your father, perhaps?"

"Who is this?" I asked silently, did she know anything about Charlie?

"I told you, Bella. One thing at a time," she repeated.

In front of me, I saw Edward and Alice's confused and surprised gazes, they felt just the same way as I did.

"Do you know anything about what has happened to my father?" I asked anxiously, any news would be enough. Just a small sign that he was alright was more than enough for me at the moment.

"Well, of course," she continued in the same velvet voice. It was very unpleasant in my ears, it felt as if her reason to call was to do me harm. "Of course. I know everything Bella, everything." She laughed silently into the phone – it wasn't a nice laugh. It wasn't a laugh out of happiness – it was an evil laugh. I instantly knew, then, that this wasn't good.

Both Edward and Alice seemed to stiffen in front of me, but I ignored them. This woman knew, that was the only thing that mattered at the moment.

"Tell me," I whispered silently.

She laughed the same evil laugh again. "You are one eager little girl, Bella."

"Wait," I started, more confused than before. "How do you know my name? Who are you?"

"Well, we'll come to that later, I promise you that one at least." Again, she laughed, and it made me shudder of dislike.

"Who are you?" I asked silently again. I had suddenly become afraid, afraid of her and afraid what she had done to Charlie.

Edward seemed to be having a fight with himself in front of me. It was as if he was struggling to not reach out and pull the telephone away from me. I knew that there weren't much time left until he would grab the receiver out of my hand. That was why I quickly continued.

"Don't you remember me Bella?" she asked, sounding innocent. This wasn't happening, I didn't know her, and she didn't know me. And what did she know about Charlie?

"Have we met?" I continued to ask; I _needed_ to know.

Suddenly, Edward seemed to wake up from his trance. "Bella, give me the phone," he said, trying to sound calm. I ignored him. Didn't he see that this woman knew where Charlie was? Instead, I turned around so that he was staring at my back.

"Of course we have met Bella," she continued to purr in the same velvet voice that made me shudder in fear. "It's a year almost since, though… But I hope you still remember me. Maybe you will recall it better if I told you about what happened…"

"Bella, _give me the phone_," Edward growled from behind. Again, I ignored him – he did not give up. "Give me the telephone."

"Who are you? What happened?" I whispered to the unknown woman.

"But Bella… Can't you remember being fooled by a vampire named James at all? And how you thought he had kidnapped your Mom?" She chuckled lowly. "Well this time, your father is the one who has been dragged away against his will. It was so interesting, really. He was asking me all the time about you, actually. I promise that I'll keep…" But I didn't hear her last words; since I dropped the phone I was holding on the floor in shock.

"Victoria," I mouthed, and it all came rushing over me. I suddenly understood, everything. This was her revenge; she wanted to get to me because Edward loved me. She had kidnapped Charlie, so she could get to Edward since he had killed James. I suddenly feared for both Charlie and Edward's lives.

All of a sudden, I became afraid, how was Charlie? What if she had hurt him? What if? Where was Charlie now? Was he alright? When would I see him again? The thought made me shudder, and I collapsed onto the floor, landing on my knees. I felt ready to faint in any minute.

"No," I whispered.

Meanwhile, Edward had picked up the receiver which I had dropped so recklessly on the floor. Even though I did my best to not listen, it was hard to ignore Edward's panicked voice.

"Hello? Hello?" There was a pause. "_You_," Edward suddenly whispered. "What have you done to Charlie? Where are you? What…" He stopped talking abruptly –she had hung up.

I fell completely to the ground, my cheek resting against the wooden floor, paralyzed from the chock. Charlie. Victoria. I couldn't understand, how could I let this happen? How could I not see this coming? I prayed silently that she hadn't hurt him. He had to be alright, he had to be. I wouldn't let her hurt him; she could do anything to me as long as Charlie was okay.

Edward still seemed to be talking into the phone, as though he hadn't realized that no voice was going to reply to his worried questions. From the corner of my eye, I could see how Alice stood completely immobilized next to Edward – she didn't even do as much as blink.

Too exhausted, too shocked to rose from my lying position, I closed my eyes slowly, hoping that it all was just a nightmare. That I would wake up soon, lying next to Edward in my warm bed.

"HOW COME YOU DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING ALICE?!" I could hear Edward shout at her, he had obviously stopped trying to get an answer from the quiet receiver. "SHE HAS CHARLIE!"

Alice seemed to be just as afraid and shocked as I was, since she didn't answer at first. I opened my eyes for a moment, and saw that he was staring at something in front of her that was invisible for us, and slowly sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"What do you see?" Edward asked anxiously, his voice revealed that he was stressed. "What do you see, Alice?"

My eyes closed for the second time, not having the strength to eye the two people I loved in front of me.

Silence fell over the room, and I guessed that Edward was seeing the same thing as Alice in her mind. Minutes could have passed by, but I didn't know. I didn't know if morning had broken, or if the night's cold hand had swept over the small houses in the neighborhood.

At last, Edward spoke again. His voice was barely a whisper; I almost couldn't make out his words.

"We have to stop her."

And then, he seemed to realize that I was lying with closed eyes on the floor. I opened my eyes for a quick moment to see that he had kneeled beside me, with a hard expression on his otherwise soft face, and slowly caressed my cheek as if I was asleep and he didn't want to wake me.

"It's going to be all right, Bella. I promise, I love you," he comforted me in an anxious voice.

"Charlie," I moaned without opening my eyes. "Charlie."

He kissed my cheek softly. "I know, Love, he's going to be fine.

"What did Alice see?" I asked while opening my eyes.

"She's, she's taking him to a place a few miles from here…" he answered. I hated to see the anxious expression spread across his face; he was so much more beautiful without it. I didn't want to see him look so worried, I wanted him to be happy. Happy, it felt as though I would never be happy again. Victoria had Charlie,

**A/N: Draaaaamatic! How will it go? And I don't really now if they answer "Forks's police" and if Charlie **_**has**_** a friend named Larry there… Let's say he has in this story. Please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I finished this chapter pretty fast because of the positive reviews, though I couldn't update as early as I wanted, since my Internet has been down. **

**I think this chapter is pretty dramatic for Bella – she's very melancholic. Let's pick up where we left off; I've got nothing more to say… Except the thing I say every time I publish a new chapter: REVIEW!!! Haha… This chapter isn't as long as the previous ones, but I hope you'll still survive. Enjoy! **

Time was standing still, nothing moved – the entire world was immobilized. I was in shock, and not able to move, nor speak or even blink. My mind had stopped working; only two names were circling around faster and faster inside my head. Six syllables altogether; Victoria, Charlie. Only the names said together made me shudder.

How could everything have turned out like this? Everything had been so perfect, so utterly perfect. I was engaged with Edward, the Cullens were back and my miserable period had disappeared forever. And yet, it had all been ruined. Of course it all had been ruined, who could be so lucky that nothing else would come and spoil the perfect life? I wasn't lucky, how could I imagine something else? I didn't deserve any of it. It had been a dream while it had lasted, but sometime, you have to wake up. No dream could last forever, and I think I knew that, deep down. Personally, I would have preferred a less brusque awakening, but I didn't matter, now that I had woken up.

I still couldn't believe how perfect everything had actually been before this, now happiness was no longer something that I understood; I would never be happy again, how much I even tried. Charlie was lost, and I was the one to blame. I had been so blinded by my love for Edward, that everything else had been forced to step aside. How could I have been so stupid? It was a mystery.

Nothing else mattered anymore, nothing. I didn't care anymore, I could die, and I wouldn't notice. All I knew was that I wanted to get away, from everything.

Memories, it was all I was able to take with me. And memories fade, slowly and barely noticeable, but they do. One day, they'll be gone, forever. And there was nothing, absolutely nothing, that you could do about it. I wanted to cry; everything would be gone one day.

I was in trance, lying completely still on the same spot I had fallen on before. It was all so silly. Why had I fallen? Why couldn't I be strong, brave, unafraid, and stand up? Why? Why was I so weak, so scared, so inhumanly stupid, and dumb? I wanted to fade away, turn into a million pieces of dust flying away gently together with the wind. My last wish, why couldn't it fulfill? To be a part of the nature seemed like such an easy thing to be.

"Bella!"

I was vaguely aware of that someone was calling my name, holding me, embracing me. Impossible, I was alone. There was nothing but emptiness around me; all was dark, velvet black nothingness.

"Bella!"

But there it was again; the proof of that someone was present too. Wasn't I alone? The gentle voice slowly faded away, and I became convinced again that I was alone. It was reasonable, who else could be here with me? I almost laughed at the silly assumption.

"Bella, wake up! Bella, please. Don't do this, not you too."

Save me. I don't care how, just do it, take me away from here. I'm waiting, don't leave me. Take me away from here. Just do it, save me from this terrible place. Wake me up, from this nightmare, from everything. Let me disappear. Let me spread my wings and fly away. Save me.

And it was as if someone had listened to my prayer, an angel. Maybe the same who had saved me from drowning a year ago. I would be forever grateful to him, twice had he helped me, and I would help him too, if I could. Help.

"Bella, I love you. Wake up, _please_."

I'm almost there, wait for me, save me.

"Wake up, please…"

Yes, yes, I'm almost there, just wait. I'm coming, soon.

"I love you."

I'm coming, I promise.

"Please…" The voice was barely a whisper.

Save me, I'm coming. I'm almost there, so close. Just please wait for me.

"Bella…" Such a beautiful voice, but who did it belong to? Who wanted to save me? Who listened to my silent prayers? "Bella…" And then it faded away. That was all I needed to hear, all I needed to wake up. My antidote. All was well.

My eyes opened, slowly and gradually my sight came back. Two people with anxious expressions were bent over me, Alice and Edward. I was lying on the ground, my back against the wooden floor. Edward was stroking my cheek, and it looked as if both of them were crying without any tears.

So it hadn't all been a nightmare, too bad. I wasn't looking forward to deal with what was going to come.

"Bella!" Edward cried as he saw how I came to life. "Bella, Bella," he continued to repeat my name several time, the worried expression not leaving his face. Alice was sitting next to him on the floor, her face hard. She was upset too, but didn't utter a word. I guessed that she was too shocked to say or do anything.

"Bella," Edward said one last time and slowly bent down his head to press his lips to mine gently.

I looked at Edward, then Alice, and then Edward again. What had happened to me? Had I collapsed? It would have been so typically me, to faint. What a weak gesture, why did I always have to be the one who seemed weak? I didn't want to be weak; I wanted to be strong, brave, like Edward and Alice. I didn't want to be a weak, fragile human.

"What happened to me?" I tried to ask, but the words came out in a huge disarray, and none of them could make out my words. Edward smiled weakly as I tried to speak again, but the smile was sad; it didn't reach his eye, they were just as unhappy as before.

After many desperate attempts of trying to speak clearly, I managed to say two words. "What happened?"

"You fainted, Bella," Alice answered. It was the first time she had spoken since we had come home from our search after Charlie.

"For how long?" I asked again, feeling a bit dizzy.

"Five minutes," Edward answered as I tried to stand up, it didn't work.

I was standing on two wobbly, unsteady legs, and I felt how they instantly folded under me. Luckily, Edward caught me before I had a chance to come dangerously close to the ground.

"Thank you," I mouthed, I was exhausted and dizzy. I felt sick. I wanted to sleep, in Edward's arms, forever.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room, and I was too exhausted to break it. After a while, I got used to it. It was quite nice, actually. As if an aura had started hovering around the room, protecting us from the silence to become unpleasant.

I looked at Edward as he loosened his grip around me. It was a pleading look, begging. But it was also full of love, I wanted to reach out and touch him. I wanted to be in his arms, now that Charlie wasn't here.

Edward seemed to read my gaze perfectly, as he reached out and embraced me again. He bent down to lean his forehead against my own, and in many moments we looked each other deeply into the eyes.

His eyes had turned darker than last time I had looked into them. The usual golden color that I loved so much was gone, instead his irises were burgundy, and the purple contours under his eyes were there again. I reached out and touched the purple shades, as if I tried to remove them by only stroking my hand carefully over them.

Edward closed his eyes as I started to stroke my thumb under his eyes; his skin was cold as always. It was as if both of us had forgotten completely that Alice was standing alone beside us, or either of us just didn't care.

In that moment, I realized what a hard time it had to be for Alice at the moment, how terribly she had to miss Jasper. I didn't know if I could be away from Edward as Alice was away from Jasper, it didn't make sense for me. I knew that I could no longer survive being without Edward. The amount of time we could spend apart had all been used when he left me, the sand in the hourglass had run out, and it was impossible to turn it upside-down again.

Edward opened his eyes slowly as I removed my hand from his face, and he sighed. When our lips met again, I melted. It was as if I almost forgot about Charlie completely. The kiss could heal all the problems for a while, but the second our lips parted, they were back again. In the exact same spot in my mind as before. I never wanted to stop kissing Edward, that was why I clutched him closer to me when he started to pull away.

Usually, Edward would have chuckled at my greed, but not this time. This time, he didn't object at all. Instead, he brushed his lips gently to mine again before kissing me intensely.

I wouldn't be able to survive without his kisses, they were so addictive, like a drug, and I never wanted to stop kissing him, ever. If I were the one to decide, he would kiss me more often. If I were the one to decide, we would never be apart. And our lips would never have a far distance between them.

"Bella, you have no idea how you make me feel," he whispered as he pulled away for the second time.

"Same here," I mouthed.

Alice cleared her throat behind us, and I blushed intensely. What else?

"Edward," she whispered, pretending as if the moments before had never occurred. "Edward, you're not going to believe this."

"What?" he asked.

"Victoria's taking him to La Push."

Edward's eyes widened. "Oh no," he whispered.

"She knows that we can't come there," Alice continued in a miserable voice. "She thinks Bella will come alone to save him."

Charlie, the worries were instantly back in my head again. Edward could make me forget it for a few moments, but the problems would always come back. How come I hadn't learned that by now?

"Out of question," Edward growled.

"B – But Charlie," I whispered worriedly. "Charlie."

Edward turned around to embrace me again. "It's fine, Bella. It's alright, we'll figure out a way to save him. I promise."

Again, his words were empty. What was going to make everything alright again? None of the Cullens could come to La Push, and that was where Charlie was. I had to go there myself, just like she wanted me to. There wasn't another alternative, and Victoria knew that. Her plan was perfect.

Edward turned to Alice. "We have to break the treaty."

Alice's eyes widened. "Edward, you know perfectly well that we cannot do that, it's out of question."

"Alice, we have to, there's nothing else we can do, who else is going to help us?"

"Edward, we can't, you know it."

I tried to not listen, to not worry, to not be scared to death. Too bad, that none of it worked. Charlie was lost; there was no point in trying to realize something else. I had to go there myself – I had to save Charlie.

But then suddenly, a small light of hope lit inside me. What if? What if they could help? Would they? After all I had done to them. When I thought about it, I hadn't met the werewolf pack for a long time, and the odds were against me. But I still clung desperately to the idea, they had to help; Charlie was Billy's friend, he couldn't just let this pass by.

"Jake, how about Jake?" I asked eagerly, looking at both of them. "Jake, Jake can help us, right?"

Edward darkened. "I don't know, Bella. We shouldn't take anything for granted…"

"But come _on_!" I screamed furiously. "He have to help us, it's Charlie for crying out loud, it's not as she's taken Alice." Edward flinched.

Without waiting for another reaction of my idea, I picked up the phone from the floor and dialed Jacob's number quickly before they could stop me. Three signals, and then a familiar voice.

"Hello," Billy said and added a yawn to the greeting.

"Billy, it's Bella," I said quickly. "Listen, is Jake there?"

He yawned again. "Yes, but he has told me to tell you that he's not home if you would call… Don't know the reason…"

Oh, great. What was it now? Hadn't I visited him quite recently?

"Just put him on the phone," I muttered sourly, the desperate anxious tone was still there in my voice, deep down.

"Sure."

A short silence followed, and then Jacob answered.

"What?"

"Jake!" I said, not making any attempt to hide my enthusiasm.

He laughed. "What Bella?"

"What's with not letting me speak to you?"

He sighed. "Never mind."

I paused, and collected my thoughts; I didn't want it to come out wrong. "Jake, I need your help, please."

**A/N: Want to read the following chapter, anyone? You'll have to wait a few days! PLEASE REVIEW! If I get many, I might finish the next chapter faster.**

**Also, sorry for any spelling or grammar errors. **

**And have you seen the two sneekpeeks from New Moon from comic con? OH MY HOLY GOD! November, please come faster!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! And don't stop! Review more, please, I really appreciate it! So, this chapter is a bit longer than the last one, enjoy! REVIEW!**

JACOB

I didn't want Bella to call me. Why? Well, simply because it hurt too much. It hurt too much to know that she loved me, and still chose the bloodsuckers over me. It would hurt so much, if Bella called me and I heard her sweet voice again. All my feelings would overwhelm me, and I wouldn't be able to speak.

Even now, when I hadn't spoken to her for a few days, she was always on my mind. Some part of her was always on my mind, always. I had tried to think about other things, like fishing, or the pack, but of course, it didn't work. There was no cure against love.

Sometimes, I hated myself for falling in love with, her because I had always known, deep down, that vampires were her world. And nothing could change what she thought about them. Even when Edward had left, and then came back, she had come running into his arms, forgiving him for everything.

And sometimes, I cried. It wasn't a gesture of weakness, to cry, the opposite. It was nice to let it all run off of you, just like water running off from a really good rain jacket. I never cried when anyone saw, because I was embarrassed, but I did cry. I cried for Bella, because she would never be mine, and my heart would always belong to her. I had given it to her, wrapped it in a nice present box, but she had politely given the present back to me, maybe not even knowing what was in it. But without her permission I had discreetly put the present in her bag, to make sure that it would always be there with her, for her, forever. And there was nothing she could do about it.

So when Dad simply handed me the phone, telling me it was Bella, I got a bit irritated. If I had known the reason for why she called in the first place, I swear I wouldn't have sounded so rude.

"Hello?" I answered; the tone revealed quite clearly that I wasn't interested in a long call. It was rather hard though, to sound so sour when Bella was on the other line.

"Jake!" she said, sounded enthusiastic but still sad at the same time.

I couldn't help but to laugh silently, my Bella. "What Bella?"

"What's with not letting me speak to you?"

I froze, had Dad told her? I shot him an angry look from where I stood, and panicked. One thing was for sure though; I wasn't going to tell her the real reason. Not because I was embarrassed, but because I didn't want her to know how much I thought about her, even though my feelings were responded in a way. In other words, it was embarrassing, but I was never going to let myself believe that.

"Never mind," I replied after a sigh.

She paused for a moment, as if to gather her thoughts. "Jake, I need your help, please," she pleaded. Bella sounded so desperate, so melancholic. What could have gone so wrong that she asked _me_ for help and not Mr Bloodsucker?

This time, I was the one to hesitate. "What's wrong Bella?" I asked anxiously.

Another silence fell over us, and I thought that she would never dare to break it. "Please, just listen…"

"I'm listening…"

"It's Charlie, you need to help me." Was she crying? If I weren't mistaken, I could swear that I heard her sob.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked, sounding more worried than I would have wanted to, probably because I didn't want to hear Bella so sad. What had happened? And why had she turned to me instead of Edward? I liked that fact; she had chosen to call _me_, and nobody else.

"It's Charlie," she replied, sounding more heartbroken than I had ever heard her before. "Oh, Jake, you _have_ to help me. She's taken him, Jake. To La Push, she's taken him." And then it all clicked, Victoria, La Push, the treaty. My happy expectations that she had chosen help from me were immediately crushed to dust.

"Oh," I said, not sounding very surprised. So I was only second best, the reserve. If the vampires couldn't help her, she turned to me. They were the first ones she would turn to, of course they were. How could I think that it was different this time?

Nobody spoke, until Bella couldn't stand the suspense. "Jake, will you? Will you help me?"

And when she begged like that, I couldn't say no. Of course I couldn't say no. This was Bella, the love of my life; I could never let her down. There was no other option than helping her; I couldn't deal with doing anything else. If Bella was unhappy, I would do _anything_ to see her smile again. And by that I meant anything.

I opened my mouth to answer, and the reply came out more naturally than I had thought. "Of course Bella! Of course, had you expected anything else? And how did she get to him? Why is she doing this?"

Bella didn't answer directly. I could hear her uneven breathing, and waited patiently until she would answer. She sounded so desperate, and I had to help. Because I would never stand myself again if I knew that I hadn't done everything in my power to help her smile again. Besides, it was Charlie; I had known him for my entire life, I had to help him too.

"This is her revenge," Bella said quietly, "Edward killed James, her mate. She wants me to come alone to La Push so she can finish me off herself." Even though she was talking about the safety of her life, she didn't sound afraid, not at all. She sounded worried, worried for Charlie's sake. I sighed; she was so unselfish, so perfect. I loved her, and I always would.

"Where is she?" I asked.

"I'll ask Edward." A brief pause followed, and I waited patiently for her to reply. "At the cliffs, where I wanted to jump, in a cave," she answered quickly. "Will you help?" she then wondered hopefully.

"Of course," I asked. "Why wouldn't I?" I demanded. "I'd do anything for you."

A short embarrassing silence appeared out of nowhere, and it had come mostly because of my most recent sentence. I knew that I shouldn't have told her that, even though it was the truth, I was only making her embarrassed. It had been a mistake.

"I'll meet you at the border," she said quickly, and without another word, she hung up.

Before I had time to think, I had reached for the door. Just as I was about to close it behind me in a quick motion, I heard how Billy cleared his throat.

"What, Dad?" I asked, obviously irritated.

"Where are you going?" he wondered, not sounding worried. He knew that I would never do anything he didn't want me to do. He trusted me – I had my pack. Well, actually Sam's pack. But in a situation like this, it didn't really matter that much.

"Look, there's not really time to explain," I excused myself with.

He nodded understandingly. "Just make sure to be back in time enough to cook my dinner."

I snorted, and he smiled, probably not realizing that the situation I was in wasn't really something to laugh about.

I closed the door after me quickly, and decided to transform so that I could take the pack with me. I wasn't going without them.

It was maybe expected, but I hadn't realized that I would face many protests from the pack. For me, it had been natural to risk my life for Bella, if only that was the case with the pack. Paul, of course, was the most reluctant to help, and I thought that I was never going to be able to persuade him. So when he agreed after some whines and protests, I was very surprised.

_Woosh Paul! Planning on doing anything else that'll surprise us to death?_ I asked after he had given me a confirmation that he would help.

_Shut up, I might change my mind about it, you know._

_I really doubt that; you wouldn't._

_Oh believe me, I would._

BELLA

As soon as the call was over, I ran towards the truck, not bothering how Alice and Edward got to the border. I could see two vague shapes of running creatures ahead of me; they had decided to come to the border before me.

The ride could not have been slower. Even though I drove as quickly as my truck was capable of, it felt as if I would never get there in time. Time went by in the same pace as a snail, and I couldn't take it. When I finally reached the place where I would meet Jake, it was as though a stone were taken off from my chest. Finally, I was there.

Alice and Edward were already standing there when I arrived. I jumped out of the truck to tell them a quick goodbye before I would leave with Jake. I prayed silently that it wouldn't take too much time; I didn't know how long it would be possible for me to be separated from Edward. My heart ached terribly when I thought about the time we would spend apart. I quickly shoved the feeling away though, I could do it. This was far too important, I could make it, a few hours at most.

But I still memorized his face as thoroughly as I could when I ran to meet the two beautiful persons a short distance away from me. Edward reached out his arms and wrapped them around my waist as the distance between us disappeared.

"Be careful, Bella," he whispered into my ear, and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Don't you trust him?" I wondered.

"Nobody is good enough to protect you, not even him." He smiled weakly. "I'll miss you every second you're gone."

"I will miss you more," I persisted, pressing my lips to his for a quick moment. "I love you."

Before he was able to return the kiss more intensely, I released his grip around my waist, took Alice's hand for a short moment, and turned my running pace towards the truck.

_I'm coming Charlie, I'm almost there_, I thought as the engine roared to life for the second time.

JACOB

All of us were waiting, just a few feet away from the border. Surely, the bloodsuckers would be at it, and I didn't feel like seeing them. It would only make me upset, and Paul would probably change his mind about saving Charlie.

I waited patiently, concentrating on memorizing Bella's face. The beautiful face that soon, so soon, would appear in front of my eyesight. No one could be compared against Bella – her beauty was indescribable. I was convinced that I would never meet a more beautiful person in the entire world than her. It wasn't possible for anyone to be more perfect than she was. Bella was everything, at least everything that mattered.

In one way, I couldn't wait to see her again. On the other hand, what was going to occur was not pleasant, all of us knew that. But I was still very eager to see her; to only get a quick glance of her face would be enough, I would memorize it forever. Nothing could make me forget her perfect face.

I almost jumped in happiness when I heard the truck getting closer; finally, she was here.

BELLA

I hadn't expected anything. And surely, not what was awaiting me. The entire pack had decided to show up, I didn't know if they were here to help or only to get another quick look at the vampire girl. I prayed that they were here for the first alternative.

Everybody was in their werewolf form, apart from Jake, who was dressed in a pair of sport shorts, no shoes.

I cut the engine too violently than what would have been recommended, it protested wildly, but at the moment, I didn't care.

"Jake!" I cried, slamming the door behind me with a terrible sound.

He smiled weakly. "Hi, Bells."

He shortened the distance between us, and embraced me tightly for a few moments. I inhaled the familiar scent of Jacob, he smelled like home, good. If I had been the one to decide, we would have hugged longer, but under the circumstances, it was impossible.

"Thank you," I whispered, after he had pulled away.

"It's Charlie," he murmured. "Of course I'll help…"

"How are we getting there?" I asked.

"We're taking the bikes, the other'll run."

I nodded formally, pretending as if I wasn't scared to death already. What would happen now was nothing I was aware of, no one was. Not even Alice was able to see anything – Victoria changed her mind constantly. She obviously knew about the flaws in Alice's ability.

I ran halfheartedly next to Jacob's brisk pace and noticed the two old bikes a few feet away. They looked nothing as I had remembered them, so unsafe, reckless. I guess I had become more careful after Edward's return. I had done it for him, of course. He was the most important thing.

"I've got you a helmet," Jake said and picked up a black one from the ground beside the red bike.

Without a word, I put it on, and turned awkwardly towards the red motorcycle.

"You remember how to ride them right?" Jake asked, as his engine turned to life.

"Of course," I lied while throwing the left leg over the bike's side. "Piece of cake," I murmured lowly as Jake slowly started to move. "Okay," I told myself, talking a deep breath. "Clutch, clear. Break…" Out of nowhere, Jake appeared behind me.

"I'll drive."

My eyes widened, how could he know? I had of course always been a bad liar, though it still seemed a bit strange that he would see through me that easily…

There was very little room for us both, especially on the red one, but Jake managed to squeeze in in front of me, and he increased the speed as we came closer and closer towards the beach.

I had my arms in a firm grip around his waist, my cheek leaning against his back. This was a moment I wanted to freeze forever, the last few seconds before I would face one of my greatest fears ever. My heart was pounding violently in my chest; it felt as if it would fall out of my body in any second. Never before had I been so scared, never. Not even with James, because then I had known that my dearest and beloved would be alright. Now, Charlie was the one whose life was threatened, and it was far worse. I was so afraid, what had she done to him? Was he alright? I tightened my grip around Jake's waist as I thought about what she could have done to him. Nothing good at least. I shivered at the thought, and critically observed the speed.

"Can't we go a bit faster?" I whispered worriedly into his back.

He didn't answer, because now, the beach was also visible for human eyes.

I shrugged, closing my eyes slowly as if to assure myself that I wasn't going to wake up, this wasn't a dream. If only that had been the case, if only none of this had happened. But the reality was cruel, my hopes of that I was dreaming were immediately crushed.

"What's the plan?" I asked, feeling how wobble my legs was after the bike ride.

"Bella, you need to stay safely here."

My eyes widened. "Did you think I came along only to sit here and wait for you? I _need_ to come, it's Charlie."

Jake shifted his gaze away from my eyes, and sighed. "All right, but you have to be careful Bells. The bloodsucker will kill me if you're hurt."

"He won't," I protested.

Jake ignored my statement, and continued. "She can hear almost everything, so there's no way were going to sneak into the cave. We'll just have to do it."

I swallowed loudly. "Okay." There was no turning back now – this was it.

**A/N: What did you think? The next chapter will be very dramatic! Da-dah! Please review, I might update faster then! And sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar errors :-D**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Well, well, another chapter! Sorry that the fight is pretty lame, but it had to be since the story is rated K+, I also don't think I'd be able to write a good realistic fight… This chapter's pretty long, one of the longest ones so far actually, enjoy! PLEASE REVIEW! **

I was shaking, violently, and it wasn't because I was cold. I was scared, scared to death. Scared of what would come next, scared of what was waiting for me around the corner, scared of if Charlie was inhaling his last breaths right now and scared of the fact that I wouldn't be able to save him.

Jake tried to sooth me, he really put an effort in trying to calm me, but it didn't work. Nothing would work. I was quite sure that even Edward's familiar embrace wouldn't heal the wounds that I had. Everything was lost, or at least I was convinced that it was.

The sound of waves crashing against the beach reached my ears, and the memories overwhelmed me from the day I had decided to jump off the cliff. When I thought about how convinced I had been that day about talking the step over the hillside and falling into the velvet black dark, it seemed a bit bizarre to me. How could I even have considered jumping? I was like an entire new person, and it hit me as strange. How could I have changed so much in such little time?

"Could you turn around Bella, just for a second?" Jake asked awkwardly.

"Sure," I said and did what he wanted. "But why?"

"I'm taking off my shorts…" Jake muttered. And then, suddenly, I was the only human.

I turned around to see how Jake had transformed into the russet wolf I'd seen one time before. He was beautiful, and my admiration increased when I saw how gracefully he moved. Though nothing could be compared to Edward's beauty, I had to admit that Jacob was almost as beautiful as Edward in his wolf form.

For a short moment all the problems disappeared. But of course, I could only forget them for a short amount of time. As quickly as they had vanished, they were back again, chewing on the back of my head.

I was so nervous, for everything and for everybody. Would Jake be okay?

"Be careful," I murmured and looked into the big black eyes of the werewolf. They were eyeing me with the same intense gaze that I was looking into them with. Jake whimpered silently, and I took one step forward to caress the fur on his back. It was so soft, like silk.

From the corner of my eye, I saw how the other wolfs were running towards a big cave situated in the cliffs. I took a deep breath, and without a warning of what I was going to do, I ran after them. Jake was off the minute my brisk pace turned into running. He outran me after what seemed like less than a second, and came to the cave faster than what I thought was possible.

The air was thick with fear, my fear, and it slowed my running. Though I didn't look back, nor did I stop to rest. My target was the only thing on my mind – Charlie was so close. But so was Victoria, and that was why I stopped abruptly ten feet from the cave's entrance.

I filled my lungs with three deep breaths, three breaths of freedom, and entered the cave with an unfamiliar feeling from the pit of my stomach.

The familiar shapes of wolves were surrounding a beautiful woman with long red her in the big cave. Her eyes were black with thirst. The wolves were growling lowly at her, making sure she would understand that this would be her last moments alive. Even though her life would not last much longer, she had not given up. An evil smile was etched upon her perfect face, and a shudder raced down my spine. Victoria.

She was dressed in a simple black dress, and her naked feet were brown of the dirt on the floor. Slowly, she leaned her head a little bit to the side, and smiled wider as she saw how scared I was. And I was scared. My heart was beating violently in my chest, and I wanted to run away from the cave as quickly as I could.

"Bella," she purred in the same velvet voice as before. She took one step towards me, and caused the wolves to growl louder. Her voice was so unpleasant, and I was so scared. My legs were so unsteady under me; it felt as if they would no longer be able to carry my weight.

But then I spotted Charlie, and my fear was no longer relevant.

She had been careful to not spill any of his blood; he was covered in bruises from head to toe. He looked thinner, and so feeble. It felt like someone had hit me hardly in my stomach, to see him like this was torture. Charlie, my father. She had hurt him so badly. The anger bubbled up inside of me, snarling, it spread quickly through my entire body, like venom. I was no longer afraid, I was furious.

Charlie was resting with his back against the cave wall, and his head leaned against his shoulders. The eyes were closed, and I assumed that she had hit him unconscious.

"Dad!" I cried, and wanted so badly to run towards him.

But before I had time to do anything else, Jake pushed me quickly and hardly into the cave's wall, protecting me from Victoria who had just started to run towards me. It reminded me of how Edward had pushed me away from Jasper at my eighteenth birthday; it was the same protective gesture. It had the same feeling behind it; to save me, protect me.

I hit my head hard in the stonewall, and immediately feel unconscious down to the ground, unknowing what was going on around me.

For how long I was gone from consciousness was something that I wasn't aware of. Time stopped when I fell into a puddle on the floor, waiting for the moment when I would wake up from my alternate sleep. Minutes could have passed, hours could have flown by, but I didn't know. There was no proof of that time even passed by.

I woke from the sound of a crackling fire. Slowly, I opened my eyes, and discovered a burning pain in the back of my head. It must have been from when I crashed my head into the wall.

I felt groggy, and was lying on my back against the hard uneven stone floor. My eyesight didn't return until a few seconds after my eyes had flown open. The familiar cave met me, and a few feet in front of me was the fire I had awoken from.

Jake was hovering silently over the fire, looking satisfied. He had now transformed into his human form, something I appreciated. Now I would be able to talk to him.

Relief rushed violently over me as I saw that Charlie was sitting, awake, in front of the fire beside Jake. The bruises were still covering his pale face, but apart from that, he looked alright. I wanted to sigh in relief, but it was as if I couldn't move or control my body. When I tried to rise from where I was lying, it didn't work. My body felt heavy as a large stone. I was unable to move, lying completely immobilized. The only thing I was able to do, was to watch the two people I loved in front of the fire, hoping that my ability to speak and walk soon would return to me.

"How did she get to you?" Jake asked silently, as if he didn't want to wake me up, as if I was a sleeping child. He lifted his gaze from the crackling fire and looked at Charlie.

He sighed. "I don't know." Another sigh. "I just drove home from work, you know. Just like always, and then the cruiser just stopped. I figured it had to be something with the engine, so I walked out. Remember being hit in the head with something hard, and that's it."

"She's different."

"So are you," Charlie muttered.

Jake chuckled. "Not as much as them, you know."

Charlie looked at him seriously. "Jacob, you can turn into a _wolf_!"

"To be honest Charlie, I thought you would be a bit more surprised…"

He snorted. "Well, guess there isn't much to do you know." He sighed a third time. "What are you exactly?"

"A werewolf," Jake answered with a grin. It was so typical of him.

Charlie choked, and Jake patted him soothingly on the back. "Nah. 'S not that bad y'know. Guess you figured it out anyway."

Charlie looked at him with widened eyes. "So you're telling me that you, Jacob Black, son of Billy Black, are a _werewolf_?" It sounded as if he wasn't believing a word of what he was saying.

Jake laughed. "Well if you want it to sound like a wedding phrase. The answer is yes, by the way. I, Jacob Black, son of Billy Black, am a werewolf."

"It's not funny Jacob," Charlie murmured.

"Oh you will think so, just give it time." There was a pause, it didn't last long though; Jake obviously couldn't take the suspense of the silence. "Don't you want to know, what she was? I mean, I would understand if you want to know. She nearly killed you. I mean, are you sure?"

"Jacob Black, I told you I want to know nothing more than what's completely necessary about her or anyone like that woman!" Charlie answered quickly, and immediately sounded like the police he was.

"Fine, if you want to be like that."

All of a sudden, I was in control of my body again. It was sweet to be able to finally move, to be able to blink and move my cold fingers. The nails had a light shade of purple, and I noticed that I was shaking of the cold. There was a fire in the cave, but it felt as if the warmth from didn't reached me, as if it repelled from my body each time it tried to penetrate the shield which was keeping the warmth away from my freezing body.

I was only wearing a sweater, and no jacket. The spring was a cold one, and I could hear how the rain was pouring from outside, the familiar sound of dripping water was like a lullaby, soothing. I thought about how Edward used to sing for me, and how calm I always had become when he did.

Slowly, I tried to turn my head a little. I realized then, that it had been a terrible mistake. An aching pain emerged from the shadows in the same second as my head moved a short distance from its original position. Without thinking, I groaned silently from the pain. It felt as though I hadn't been moving for years.

It was surreal, what had just happened in that very room. When I looked at the size of the fire, I knew that Victoria was gone forever. A greater relief than I had ever experienced before rushed over me, finally she was no longer a part of this world. I had been waiting for that moment for such a long time, and finally it had arrived. It felt like heaven to know that she would never bother me or anyone I loved ever again.

"Bella?" Charlie asked and rose. "Bella?" He slowly crawled to my immobile body, and I groaned again. "Bells, are you okay?"

I tried to shake my head, but it didn't work so I groaned in reply, hoping Charlie would understand that it meant a "no".

Jake rose, and strolled towards my body. He kneeled down, and caressed my cheek slowly. "I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to push you so hard."

"It's fine," I said, hoping that he would be able to make out my words. I was able to talk again, and that was at least something.

He smiled weakly, and took my head. His expression changed abruptly. "You're so cold," he whispered, I didn't answer.

He took my hand from the ground in his, and his gaze darkened. Without my permission, and too quickly, he lifted me up to put me into his lap. The pain that came with the movement was excruciating; I bit my lip hardly so I wouldn't scream, because I didn't want them to know that I was in pain. I wanted them to focus their attention on Charlie's wounds; mines were irrelevant at the moment.

Jake wrapped his arms around me and let his hand rub my back. His embrace was warm, it felt so nice; I had gotten used to the cold so much that I had forgotten what a lovely feeling it was to be warm.

Charlie looked at us both anxiously. His gaze was like a four year old's, so worried and scared. He looked so much younger, not the man I knew.

It wasn't until then I noticed how fragile Charlie looked. He was so thin, and the fact that he was covered in bruises didn't make him look healthier. What had she done to him to make him look this bad? And why was Jake warming _me_ up, and not Charlie?

After a while, a little of the blush returned to my cheeks, and both Jake and Charlie stated that I looked a lot better.

Charlie insisted that he would walk himself, and that Jake didn't have to carry him. His legs were a bit wobbly, but he managed pretty well to walk slowly back home.

"I have my truck at the border," I told Charlie, and he nodded silently.

To my great relief, Charlie didn't seem to notice the red motorcycle a few feet in front of us. I knew that he would never approve of me sitting on one of them.

As the distance between the three of us and the two awaiting vampires shortened, I became nervous again. How would Charlie take Edward's return? After all he had been through, this couldn't be the ideal moment to tell him, right? What if he would be so furious he would faint?

A silence were hovering over us all the time, nobody dared to talk about the events, everyone were so surprised. I was so captured in my thoughts that I didn't notice when two vague shapes of inhumanly beautiful creatures became visibly.

Charlie didn't notice them at first, but as we came closer and closer to my truck, Alice and Edward, he noticed the two vampires. I didn't know if he saw how like they were Victoria, maybe that wasn't on his mind, but I hoped he wouldn't question them about their unusually obvious beauty.

Edward's eyes were back to their golden liquid nuance, something I appreciated. Though it stung a bit in my heart to know that he had been out hunting while such an important event had occurred.

Charlie's eyes widened as he saw Edward. The hatred that he felt for him was so obvious and thick in the air, that it would be possible to cut it with a knife.

"You," Charlie said, terrified. "You."

Edward's expression did not change. He just took my hand and squeezed it gently as Alice appeared behind him. I looked at his face. It was neutral, but still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my entire life, I couldn't understand how I had been able to be apart from him.

Charlie's eyes widened. "Alice?" he asked, not sounding as furious as he had when Edward's golden eyes had met his.

She did not answer. Charlie looked anxiously at their faces, shifting his gaze again and again, like a tennis match. It looked as though he was ready to faint, that it all was too much to take in.

I quickly stepped beside them, not wanting Charlie to come any closer. Frankly, I was afraid of that he would attack Edward and notice how solid his chest was… Though he had to know that the Cullens were different know, Victoria had let him know that. She had obviously not been careful with now showing what she was; inhuman, immortal.

"Charlie," Edward said casually and held out his hand as if nothing had happened since their last meeting. "It's nice to see you again."

Charlie looked as if he was ready to burst in any second, his face was red as a tomato.

"HOW DARE YOU COME BACK?" he screamed sounding more furious than I had ever heard him. "HOW DARE YOU COME BACK? DON'T YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MY DAUGHTER?" He paused and inhaled a few breaths deeply before continuing. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SHE HAS BEEN FEELING? AFTER YOU LEFT SHE WAS A TOTAL MESS! HOW CAN YOU TALK TO ME AS IF NOTHING HAS EVER HAPPENED?"

To my surprise, Edward looked calm. But I still felt that it was time to interfere.

"Charlie, you don't understand. I did what's best for Bella…"

"'_WHAT'S BEST FOR BELLA_'? YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU FILTHY…"

"Okay Dad, that's enough," I interrupted, looking him deeply in the eyes. "I love him, and he loves me. He just… It's hard to explain. Just please don't be mad at him Dad…"

Charlie snorted loudly.

"Be mad at me, for being such a 'mess' when Edward was away." I took one step backwards and took Edward's hand securely in mine.

"You are not spending any more time with that boy, Isabella," Charlie declared.

"I'm eighteen, I decide what I want to do."

"He is entering my house again, that's for sure."

"He is."

"Isabella Swan," Charlie started, "you will do as I say or…"

"I will not do as you say, I'm old enough to know the consequences of my actions."

"This is different."

"No it's not."

"What if he'll leave again?"

And that did it. It felt as if someone had stabbed me with a knife deeply into my chest. I exploded in anger.

"HE IS NOT LEAVING!" I screamed furiously. "HE ISN'T EVER GOING TO ABANDON ME AGAIN? DID YOU HEAR THAT? _NEVER_! HE WON'T DO IT!" I was close to losing it, and on the verge of tears. How could he say such a thing? Had he any idea how much it had hurt me?

Charlie looked as if he would burst in any second. I looked up at Edward's face, but only to find that it was still expressionless. So badly, I wanted to wrap my arms around his torso and stay in his embrace forever. But it would have to wait; I knew that if I wanted Charlie to accept Edward again I couldn't push it.

And then suddenly, a small tear came running down my cheek; the result of Charlie's last statement.

"He won't leave," I whispered.

Charlie's expression changed immediately, and finally, so did Edward's.

"Bella, I didn't…"

But Charlie didn't have a chance to say more, because Edward's arms were around my waist the minute the second tear found its way down my cheek. Edward's familiar embrace soothed me, and I cried silently against his chest. I cried for the time we had been apart, and the time we would be apart when Charlie would refuse to let us spend time together.

But that was when I decided it, the most important thing of all. I was _not_ going to let _anything_ come in between Edward and me, not even Charlie. Nobody was going to make me leave him. Because Edward was the most important thing, and he would always remain so.

**A/N: Yup, that was that. Another chapter finished. Sorry for grammar errors. What did you think? Please review! **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Another chapter. Wanted to point out that in the previous chapter Charlie and Jake have had some time to talk through his kidnap while Bella was sleeping, she only heard a small part of the conversation. Anyway, this chapter starts exactly where the other one finished. REVIEW! **

I couldn't believe how Charlie could have said such a thing; I didn't think he knew how much he had hurt me. It was as though someone had ripped my heart out from my chest, stomped on it and then cut it into a million pieces. Edward wouldn't leave again, I knew that, but it was still excruciatingly painful to bring the topic up, and it would always be like that.

"Bella, I will never, _ever_, leave you again. You must understand that. We will never be apart again, I promise that Bella, I love you," Edward whispered into my ear so lowly that it was impossible for Charlie to make out the words. "I love you, and you know that it will never change. I can't leave you."

Even though I knew that he would never leave again, my sobs did not stop. I cried and cried, so much that Edward's shirt became soaked from my tears.

"Bells, I'm sorry Bells…" Charlie started awkwardly. "I didn't mean to –,"

"Charlie, you shouldn't have said that," Alice said seriously. "She will always be upset if you mention anything that has to do with their time apart."

Charlie grunted something in reply, but then took a few steps forward to carefully place a hand on my shoulders. And I couldn't hold myself any longer, Edward let me go reluctantly, as if he could read my mind, and I turned around and Charlie him tightly to me. Finally, he was safe. Now nothing was threatening his safety.

Charlie seemed a bit startled of my reaction, but it suited him fine to share a long hug from his daughter.

"Dad, I've missed you," I murmured into his shirt.

"I weren't gone for that long you know…" He laughed silently.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Alice smile widely. I smiled too, because now everything was fine. Victoria was dead, and Charlie was safe. The problems had finally disappeared, and for good.

"I was unconscious most of the time, but what were you actually doing to her?" Charlie asked Jake. "Why did you have to light a fire?"

Both Edward and Alice froze.

Jake cleared his throat. "Charlie, weren't you the one who didn't want to know a single thing?" He raised one eyebrow.

"All right, I'm just curious," Charlie excused himself with. "You don't get kidnapped everyday." But then, he seemed to remember the reunion with Edward and Alice, and instantly became serious. "All of your family has moved back here now?" he asked formally. It was obvious that he was trying to sound as rude as possible. He wanted to assure them that he would never forgiving them for leaving me, even though it was what I would have wanted to happen.

Alice shot a short look at Edward before nodding. "Yes."

"And why is that?"

"Carlisle did not enjoy his new job," Edward was quick to reply. "We are all back for good."

"And you have now officially moved to Forks again?" Charlie wondered as he let go of his arms around me.

"Yes," Edward said and took my hand in a firm grip.

Charlie grunted something, and I was happy that he didn't decide to hit Edward. He had taken all this better than I had hoped he would, and with a bit of luck I was sure we would be able to soften him up.

"When did you get here?"

"A few days ago."

"How long have you been meeting up with my daughter?"

Edward opened his mouth to reply, but I quickly intervened.

"_Dad_! Cross examination over, please," I begged.

Charlie turned his gaze to me. "Bells, I just want to know. It's for the best, your safety."

"_My safety_?"

"Yes, your safety," Charlie replied.

"Dad, you don't seem to understand. Edward did a terrible," I paused, considering how to put it, "mistake. And he regrets it, you have to understand, he won't do it again. He thought he did what was best for me…"

"Bella, have you no idea how much damage this boy has caused you? How much you had to suffer and go through after he had left you? I only care about what's best for you, Bells," Charlie explained.

I sighed. "Dad, when I feel the best, when I feel splendid, fantastic, happy and just perfect, that's when I'm with Edward. And nothing can change that. You can't force us to be apart, it won't work…"

Charlie's eyes widened in frustration. "Bella, you don't understand, I only care about what's best for you."

"Edward is what's best for me," I protested.

And out of nowhere, Edward started talking. I was grateful for a little help; Charlie was so stubborn.

"Charlie, I swear…" he started, but Charlie, of course, interrupted him. Who could have expected anything else? Charlie was Charlie.

"Call me Chief Swan," he told him formally.

"Chief Swan, I swear that I will never abandon your daughter again, she means the world to me. And that's why I need to ask you something…" Edward started.

Charlie waited and crossed his arms over his chest. "What? As if you haven't asked enough from me already, I've not forgiven you, you know."

Edward ran his hand through his bronze hair; he looked so gorgeous. "I know I should have asked you first, but Bella has already said yes, and I felt that it would have to wait to tell you. I love Isabella, and you must know that. I might not have showed it clearly enough these past months, since I left without keeping in touch, but she was on my mind all the time we were apart."

What was he saying? It wasn't really the best time to tell Charlie how we felt about each other; he had just been rescued from Victoria's evil hands for crying out loud. So why was Edward holding a formal speech about our love for each other? Couldn't that wait until we told him about the engagement? And that's when it hit me; _the engagement_. Oh no.

"I love her so much, and luckily, she seems to have the same feelings for me," Edward continued. "We are engaged, and I'm asking for your blessing."

Oh no… Why? Why, why, why, why, why, _why_ was he telling Charlie this _now_? Why couldn't he just wait, at least for my permission, to explain our situation? Why? Charlie was going to have a heart attack, I was sure about that. How could Edward betray me like that? I thought we were going to tell him _together_, and not in such a spontaneous way like this. But I should have understood, Edward wanted it to get official as quickly as possible…

There weren't words enough to describe Charlie's actions then. In a way, I could understand him. He had received a lot on his plate in a short amount of time, but it wasn't enough to excuse him for his exaggerated actions.

Charlie's hands bowled into fist, and the knuckles went whiter than Edward and Alice's pale skin. His face turned redder than a tomato, and if looks could kill, Edward would have been dead by then.

"YOU SAID _WHAT_?" He shifted his gaze to me. "BELLA ARE YOU _PREGNANT_?" he asked desperately. "ARE YOU?"

"What?" I asked, waking up from my thinking trance. "I'm not pregnant, why would you think so?"

"Bu – but you're getting married, and, and…"

"I'm not pregnant," I interrupted. "I just love Edward…"

Charlie turned to Edward, still as red in the face. "Now listen carefully here, Mr. Cullen, you are _not_ marrying my daughter, after all you've done to her, you can forget it. I don't know why you even _tried_ to get a blessing out of me. I would rather see Bella marrying a turtle than you, did you hear that?"

How could he say so? I loved Edward! "Charlie! I _love_ him, I do, and you have to understand, please… I love him. I want to marry him; I want to be with him forever. Do you want to make me unhappy?"

And then I noticed what was also there, though more discreet, and it was Jake. He was staring, just staring, at something far away, as if he couldn't believe what just had been said. His eyes were blank, and I could swear that I saw a small tear finding its way down his cheek.

What had just Edward done? I knew that Jacob had feelings for me, and I had expected that _I_ would be the one to tell him the breaking news. I hadn't wanted him to get it formally and sincerely from Edward. What had he done?

4 DAYS LATER

After a very loud argument, Charlie had finally agreed on letting Edward stay in the house between eight and ten everyday. It came as a relief to me, but it still wasn't enough. Even though Edward, without Charlie knowing it, spent every night inside my room, those hours between my return from school and dinner was excruciatingly painful, as if a he took a part of me with him every time we were apart, my heart.

And it was impossible for me to see Edward under those hours, because I was grounded. I was grounded, and probably for the rest of my life. Charlie hadn't even mentioned the fact that I one day would be free to do what I liked after my home works had been done. And that bothered me, very much. Firstly, Edward and I would have to spend more time apart, and secondly, I wouldn't be able to see Jacob. I hadn't talked to him ever since he found out about the engagement, and every time I tried to call him, Billy told me that he was out. As if I would believe any of that.

I had been angry after Edward had told Charlie and Jacob about the engagement, but it had been difficult to stay mad at Edward for a long time, it turned out, perhaps because I loved him so much. Because of my dislike of him letting everybody know so soon about our wedding plans, I avoided the subject as much as I could. It was easier said than done though, since Edward was very excited about the fact that we were getting married.

The Friday passed by very fast, and at the dinner table, I was reminded of Angela's and my plans on catching a movie the following day.

"And Dad, I was just wondering…" I started and took a sip from my milk. "I promised Angela that we'd go see a movie Saturday… And I _know_ I'm grounded, but I'd really liked to go…" I was very careful not to mention _anything_ about the fact that Edward was going with us. It wouldn't really make my chances of going better. I really _wanted_ to go out with Angela, I was really looking forward to it, and when Charlie had grounded me, I had been disappointed about not being able to leave this house on Saturday.

"Angela Weber you say," Charlie started, thinking a bit about what he was going to tell me as an answer. "I guess it would be alright, but don't stay out too long."

A smile immediately lit up my face. "Thanks Dad, thank you so much!"

Charlie smiled weakly. "No problems, Bells. I must say that I'm very surprised, you don't seem to mind being grounded at all. You're very nice…" Then he paused, continuing on a completely different subject. "And Bella… I was just wondering. Have you ever noticed that the Cullens are just a bit… you know… _different_?"

I froze.

"You know, well, they're all _very_ pretty, and they always go hiking when the weather's nice… They, they remind me of that redhead woman, she was like them, y'know…"

I didn't even blink. Was it possible that he had been thinking about how Edward and his family were different from the other residents in Forks? It had crossed my mind, since he had to knew that there were other creatures than humans on this earth after Victoria had held him hostage, but I had hoped that he hadn't deepened his thoughts in that area for too long.

"Maybe it's just my imagination, but they're not as everybody else…"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said reflexively.

"Nah, maybe I'm just silly…"

"Probably," I said and sighed lowly in relief.

"But still… There's just something about them, I can't really put a finger on it…"

And then, thank God, there was a loud knock on the front door, Edward.

"I get it!" I said eagerly, grateful for his perfect interruption. Charlie muttered something, obviously not liking Edward's arrival.

I flew up from my chair, so quickly that I would count it as vampire speed, and ran for the door. Finally, I would see Edward, what I had been waiting for since we left school together. I had been anxious the entire afternoon I had spent with Charlie, thinking about him all the time. It was soothing to know that he was just outside, eavesdropping on most of the things we talked about, but I wanted to _see_ him in front of me. I wanted to know where he was, always.

I slammed the door open in a quick motion, eager to see the perfect face that was awaiting in front of me.

And there he was, stunning. Too, he was mine, and would remain so, forever.

Edward smiled the crooked smile that I loved so much, and ran his fingers quickly through his tousled bronze hair. He was so beautiful; I wouldn't have been surprised if I had started to drool at that moment.

"Hi," he said, chuckling as he saw how I eyed him.

"Hi," I whispered dreamily. This was ideal happiness, the moment I had been waiting for for so long, for me it had been an eternity.

We looked into each other's eyes for a few moments, before Charlie cleared his throat loudly behind us.

"Hello, Edward," he said formally, looking at Edward as if he was a burglar in the house. Edward smiled politely back at him, and I wondered how Charlie couldn't see how perfect Edward was for me.

"Hello, Charlie."

There was a short silence, and I was sure about that Charlie saw it as embarrassing. He changed his weight between his feet, and shifted his gazes awkwardly.

"I'll go and watch some TV, then," he muttered, and headed for the living room.

"I've missed you," I announced lowly when Charlie was outside hearing range. "A lot."

Edward chuckled. "Not as bad as I have missed you," he whispered into my ear, and dragged me towards the staircase.

"Not so quickly there, kids," Charlie interrupted us. "_Kitchen_. I don't want you to get too isolated.

I sighed heavily, but followed Edward nicely into the kitchen.

"Sorry," I murmured to him as he sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

He smiled. "It's not your fault, it's no one's fault."

"You're too nice to me," I said with a sigh and took a seat next to him. "Way too nice."

"It's because you deserve it," he said playfully and took my hand in his.

"Anyway," I started. "Are you free tomorrow?"

He raised one eyebrow and looked at me skeptically.

"I suppose you are then…" I assumed with a smile. "Anyway, Angela asked if we wanted to go to the movies with her and Ben then, is it okay? I would really like to go, but only if you're coming too."

He smiled widely. "Of course I'll come with you, love. Though I would have preferred to spend the evening with only you, frankly," he answered, and I blushed. "But I thought you were grounded."

"Charlie agreed," I murmured. "But I didn't mention you were coming."

"Wise," he said. "But was it really worth it? He won't be happy if he finds out I'm coming."

"Well, I'll just have to drive there myself," I replied. "It'll work just fine, don't you think?"

He nodded. "I guess so," he said and squeezed my hand tighter in his. "What are we seeing?"

I hadn't really thought about that, I had been too excited that I was actually going to hang out with Angela again. "I don't know, do you know anything they're showing?"

He shook his head. "No, I haven't gone to a theatre for years, decades," he added with a chuckle.

Charlie then, who entered muttering silent insults under his breath, interrupted us. I had known about the fact that he was not going to be fond of our relationship, but I hadn't understood that he would be so stubborn about freezing Edward out of his life. I had expected that he at least would have treated him better than he was, at the moment Charlie was just rude.

"When are you leaving?" Charlie muttered, giving Edward a rude glare.

"Ten, just as you said," Edward answered, and I admired him for still sounding so polite.

Charlie left the room sulking, and I heard how he increased the volume of the TV, probably to disturb us.

"I wonder if he'll ever give us his blessing," I said with a sigh when I knew he couldn't be listening anymore. "It feels like an impossible task."

Edward chuckled. "Bella, I'm marrying you even if Charlie won't give us his blessing."

His statement shocked me a bit. "But don't you want to keep everything traditionally?"

He laughed. "Bella, nothing matters as long as I can marry you. We can run off to Vegas if that's what it takes. Nothing's going to come in our way, I'm sorry, but not even Charlie. _You're_ the most important thing, and I'll do all it takes to marry you, whether Charlie agrees with it or not."

"Wow," I answered with a smile. "Good we're on the same page, then."

"I just want a confirmation that we'll be together forever."

"I've agreed to that one already."

"But I want everyone to _see_, to_ know_, that you belong to me, and will always."

"I will."

"Good."

I noticed that we had leaned closer to each other over the table after each of our sentences, and I smiled, admiring his beauty. He looked me deeply into my eyes, and took the hand he wasn't holding in mine to slowly caress my cheek.

"I love you," he whispered, leaning so close that I could smell his sweet breath.

"I love you more," I teased, and shortened the distance between our lips.

We kissed deeply; letting all the emotions we had for each other show as our lips moved together. This was where I wanted to be, forever. Nowhere else. And the thought of how we soon would be married made my heart take an extra beat. Edward, forever. My husband. Bella Cullen. I wanted it all so badly, and nothing was going to stop me on my way to get it.

Before we had time to pull away, Charlie was suddenly in the kitchen, looking as though he would explode.

"_Out_!" he shouted, pointing his finger towards the door. "_Now_."

Against my will, Edward obeyed and rose from his chair. It felt like a rope around my throat to know that he would leave now.

"No, Dad!" I objected. "Please, I don't want him to go… Please let him stay. We can watch TV with you, we can…"

"He is not entering my house again, that's for sure," Charlie said through his teeth, looking like he was ready to commit a murder.

"No! Dad, please," I begged, looking deeply into Charlie's eyes, showing the desperation I felt inside of me. "Please let him stay, I'm so sorry, I didn't meant to…"

"Isabella Swan, this is more than enough. I have been very patient with you two, but I'm not letting this boyinside again only so he can play lip lock with you! You won't see him again, after everything he's done to you."

"But, Charlie, I _love_ him, I_ love _him! Dad, you need to understand."

"You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know anything about love."

That was an insult, how could he say such a thing? I loved Edward with my entire heart, and that would never change. I wanted to be with him forever, he was my only love. How could Charlie say a thing like that?

"I do, Dad, I do. I love him, and we're getting married, whether you like it or not, we're getting married Dad. You can't change that. We love each other, forever. Please, accept that. I love him…"

We had been paying too much attention to our fight, that we hadn't noticed that Edward was no longer present.

"No," I said on the verge of tears. "No, you made him leave Dad."

Charlie snorted. "He deserves it."

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for telling Charlie about how this wasn't working.

"Dad, this isn't working. If you're not letting Edward inside of this house, then I can't live here. I'm sorry, but I can't. I'll have to move. If you can't accept that fact that we belong together, than I'll have to move in with Edward."

Charlie froze, and his eyes softened immediately. "Bells, please don't move," he begged silently. "Please, I'm sorry. Just don't move."

I sighed. "Dad, I will have to if you can't let Edward come in here. And I'm sorry you had to see us kiss, but it's the truth, you can't keep shoving it away."

"Bells, you need to know that I only want the best for you," he said.

"I know, but he _is _the best for me, and I don't know how many times I will have to tell you that to make you understand. He makes me happy, Dad. Really happy…"

"Are you absolutely sure about that?" he wondered.

"Yes."

"And will you ever want anyone else?"

I shook my head. "Never."

He sighed in defeat. "Well, I guess I have nothing more to object against. But if he _ever_ hurts you or leaves again, I'll swear I'll make him regret it so much he will come back on his knees, begging you to take him back."

"He won't leave," I explained.

"Good," Charlie said with a smile.

**A/N: Okay, loads of screaming and talking in this chapter. Some similarities with Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, like when Charlie believed Bella was pregnant and that Bella's grounded.**

**I'm sorry this chapter is really bad and not very well written, but I'll write the next one better! Promise!**

**Next chapter will be about Edward and Bella's double date with Ben and Angela! REVIEW! **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Review more! I love reviews… Sorry for the delay of my update!**

**This story's soon over, and as much as I have loved working on it, it has to come to an end soon. But you have not seen the last of me yet! I've very recently started on a new fanfic, so make sure to put me on Author Alerts!**

**The double date didn't really fit in here, sorry… Next chapter'll be about it! Promise! Sorry this chapter's a bit short, but I wanted to finish it as quickly as possible.**

"Hmm…" Edward murmured as he deeply inhaled the smell of my hair.

It was eleven in the evening, the same day as I finally had convinced Charlie that my love for Edward was unconditional. I had gone to bed early, hoping that I would find an awaiting Edward in my bedroom. I had been lucky. He had been waiting for me, and I hadn't been late on running into his arms.

After I had taken a quick shower and pulled on a pair of old sweats, Edward had wrapped a warm blanket around me, and pulled me under the covers of my bed with his arms wrapped around me.

I had taken time to look deeply into his golden eyes, and I caught myself drowning in them. They were so beautiful, like melted gold, or sweet honey. His eyes were my ocean, my own sea. I could easily look into them forever, my admiration for the beautiful color grew for every second I looked into his perfect gaze. If it hadn't been for my need to blink constantly, I would have locked my gaze to them forever, without interruptions.

Edward was mine, and the fact that I was able to look into the warm eyes whenever I wanted made me warm inside. It felt so surreal. I must be dreaming. I didn't deserve anyone as perfect, thoughtful, kind and beautiful as Edward. And I most definitely didn't deserve his eyes; to even be able to look into them was an amazing gift. Everything was worth just a single glance of them.

"Have I told you how much I love your eyes?" I asked as his gaze met mine again.

He chuckled. "No, but I'm glad you enjoy looking into them," he said and caressed my cheek. The gesture made the hair on my neck rise alarmingly fast. "I happen to think that your eyes are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

I blushed. "You're lying."

"Bella," Edward started, as he tightened his grip around my waist, "why would I lie to you?"

"Er… I don't know…" I said hesitantly. "You don't want to make me sad by telling me that my eyes look like the dirt under your shoes."

He raised one eyebrow. "That was a lie, no eyes can be compared with yours, and you know it."

I sighed in happiness; I never wanted to leave this position. I felt safe with his arms around me. All possible harm was crumbling to dust when he held me in his arms. I had completely forgotten, almost at least, how it felt to have an aching hole where your heart was supposed to be situated. My wounds from our time apart had finally been healed, there wasn't even a scar left.

We continued to look into each other's eyes deeply, and I drowned several time in his perfect irises.

"Bella," Edward suddenly started seriously, and disappointment spread across my face, why couldn't I look into his eyes for just a little longer time? Why couldn't we be silent, so I could admire the golden liquid floating in his beautiful face? "Bella, I want you to know, that leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life."

I froze in his arms. That subject was the thing that I was the least keen on talking about at the moment. All was forgiven, hadn't I told him that? Nothing mattered, now that we were together? It had been worth waiting for this moment, this was pure perfection. Why did we have to talk about the time that pained us the most _now_?

I sighed. "Edward, I know, you're forgiven. I understand, how many times am I going to have to tell you that?" I said with a weak smile. "I would wait a thousands of years for you to come back to me. I would wait a thousands of years if I would be able to spend five minutes with you. You don't see that it was worth the wait."

Edward didn't reply directly, he just scanned me with an unreadable look embellishing his face. "But Bella, I want to apologize. I don't think I actually have apologized to you properly, and I feel that I need to do it so I can put all this behind me, and move on."

"But Edward, you _have_ moved on, and so have I. It doesn't matter anymore, okay? I love you, you love me, it's all that matters," I protested.

Edward ignored me, and continued on his plans on apologizing to me properly.

It wasn't as if I didn't _want_ him to apologize, I had been a complete wreck when we were apart, but I wanted to put this all behind without brining up painful memories. I had moved on, the memories were now only memories, and not the reality. It suited me fine if we would just quietly start over again from were we had left off, by marrying each other for an example…

I wanted to be with Edward for the rest of my life, but I had _never_ imagined him proposing to me. It seemed too unreal, that he wanted me too. I still hadn't melted that he loved me as much as I did.

I wanted Edward all by myself; I wanted him to be mine, forever, and no one else's. I wanted us to be like pieces of a jigsaw, two pieces that fitted perfectly together, but two pieces that wouldn't fit with anyone else but themselves. My dream was that everything, and everybody else would slowly fade away, and Edward and I would be the only ones who would remain intact.

"Bella, you need to understand that I _never_, never ever _ever_, thought that you would believe me so quickly that day in the forest when I said I didn't love you. It was absurd when I saw in your eyes that you actually _did_ believe me, and it hurt so much, I almost lost it. You have no idea how excruciating it was for me to lie like that and to see how you believed every word that escaped through my lips. I had told you that I loved you so many times, so how could you all of a sudden believe that my feelings had changed? Bella, I'm not human, and the way I feel about you is _permanent_, I will never stop loving you. You need to see that you overshadow every other person in my life. You're the only one that matters," he said and chuckled after the last sentence.

"Bu – but Edward, all the time, I was thinking that I didn't deserve you, which I don't, and it just seemed reasonable that you would be taken away from me, because I don't deserve you," I explained.

Edward raised one eyebrow. "Bella, don't say that, you know it's not true," he whispered seriously, and I was so close to believing him, he was so convincing.

"But it is true," I whispered back. "I don't deserve you."

He sighed. "Why don't you understand? _I_ am the one who don't deserve _you_. You are the most selfless, most beautiful, kindest, nicest, most generous and talented person I've ever met. I don't deserve you. Everyday, I'm worried that you'll be taken away from me."

"I will never leave you," I declared.

"You might not be the one to decide that," he said and swallowed loudly, as if he was worried or nervous.

"Who are you talking about?" I asked.

He smiled weakly.

"You're not thinking about Charlie, are you?" I asked, astonished. "Edward, he can't do anything about us, I won't let him. And did you even listen to our conversation after you left?"

Edward shook his head. "I wanted to give you some privacy."

"I threatened to move in with you if he wouldn't stop his stubbornness, and he backed instantly. I think he likes you better now. I told him about how you made me happy, and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you."

Edward smiled. "Well, that's good news." He paused and stroke his fingertips over my cheekbone in a soft gesture. "Talking of the wedding… Well, now that you are my bride-to-be, perhaps you won't mind wearing this once in a while?" he said while picking a small satin box out of his pocket.

I gasped for air. The ring, I hadn't even given a thought about that. It hadn't crossed my mind even once that you usually wore a ring when you were engaged. The ring, my heart skipped the beat at the thought of showing everybody that I was about to marry Edward. Edward and I, at the altar. I hadn't really thought that far… We were getting married, how come I hadn't thought this through thoroughly? How come?

"Isabella Marie Swan," Edward started, and looked deeply into my eyes. I giggled lightly at the thought that both of us were lying on top of my bed, I hadn't expected this moment like this. "I love you, and will you please marry me?" he asked, while opened the small black satin box and showing it to me.

I inhaled deeply, admiring the ring in front of me. It had a beautiful oval face, and sparkling diamonds were embellishing the area around it. A band of gold was circled around the ring, surrounding the perfect gems. It was so beautiful, so old-fashioned – I loved it.

"Do you like it?"

I looked at him skeptically. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Just asking," he excused himself with.

"This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," I said with a sigh.

"It's all yours."

"You didn't spend a lot of money, did you?" I asked worriedly, and reluctantly tore my gaze away from the ring to look at Edward.

He smiled the crooked smile, and I wanted to faint. He was so beautiful, everything was so perfect, and my life was complete. "If you want to know," he started, "I didn't spend a single dime, it was my mother's."

"It's so beautiful," I said while gazing down at the ring again. It sparkled so beautifully in the dark, I couldn't have wanted another ring. I caught myself carefully stroking a finger across the gems, admiring their shocking beauty.

"I'm sorry if it's a bit old-fashioned, I can get you another one if you want," Edward suggested.

It was as if he had insulted me. How could he think that I wanted a different ring? The ring was perfect, it was utter perfection, and it was so piercingly beautiful that I could look at it forever.

"How can you say that?!" I asked, offended. "This ring is the best wedding ring I've ever seen, nothing can be compared to it. Apart from you of course," I said with a smile and leaned forward to kiss him lightly on his lips.

He smiled back at me, and goose bumps started to spread from my neck to my arms. Edward was so beautiful when he smiled, even more beautiful than the ring…

"I'm more than happy you like it," he said.

"Good," I replied, and snuggled closer into his chest, inhaling his sweet smell. Heaven. My heaven, my heaven was with Edward. I was so relieved that Charlie finally had understood that.

"Would you like to try it on?" Edward whispered into my hair.

I smiled into his shirt, and looked up at his face. "There's nothing else I'd rather do," I said and carefully removed the ring from the satin box. "Apart from maybe this," I said teasingly and gave him another light peck on the lips. He smiled back at me, and I wanted to look into his face for hours. I wanted to admire his face, I wanted to reach out and touch it, I wanted to look at it forever.

It took some time to get the ring on, because I was admiring it so frequently – it was so beautiful. It was too beautiful.

Edward wanted to be the one to place it on my left hand, so I let him. I knew that it meant a lot to him, and my heart fluttered as he gently slid the ring onto my third finger. It fitted perfectly, and I smiled at him for letting me have it.

"Thank you," I mouthed, before I turned down to admire the ring on my finger again.

It looked even better when it decorated my hand, the ring looked complete. All the time it had been waiting in the old satin box, it had waited for this moment, to complete its task for the second time. My hand was the second hand this ring adorned, and it made me happy to know that this ring once had belonged to Elizabeth Masen, Edward's mother.

The sparkling diamonds were candy for my eyes, and I watched the ring greedily without noticing how Edward was eyeing me in the same way I was looking at the ring.

I tried the ring on every finger I had, but came to the conclusion that it looked the best on my third finger – probably because I was remembered of that Edward and I were engaged when I saw the ring on my finger. I slowly took it off from my finger, and held the ring close to my face, carefully studying the beautiful stones. How could such a small thing be so penetratingly beautiful? It was a riddle that I didn't waste any time on trying to solve. This ring would always decorate my left hand, I would never take it off; I was too proud of it.

"Thank you," I whispered to Edward as I slipped the ring back onto my third finger again. "For everything."

Edward studied me, and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. "Bella, this is all I want. You and me, together, forever."

"Talking about forever," I said while popping myself up and shifted my weight to my elbow which I placed under my chin. "You know I'll eventually die _some_ time, right?"

"I'm planning on following you as quickly as I can."

"Don't say that."

"Why?"

I hesitated, not knowing if it was worth bringing up the subject of my transformation, now that we shared the most perfect moment we'd ever had. Apart from maybe that day in the meadow. The point was that we were both so happy, and I didn't know if I was prepared to ruin it by reminding Edward of my eager wish to become like him, to be able to be with him forever.

I decided to tell him; surely he wouldn't ruin this perfect moment.

"I want to be with you forever, Edward," I whispered. "Forever. Not just for a lifetime, _forever_. Seventy years simply isn't enough for me. I want you, with me, for as long as humanity continues to exist."

Edward's smile was instantly removed from his beautiful face.

"Please," I begged, "it's my last wish, Edward. Please let me have it, _please_."

His gaze darkened. "You don't know what you're asking for."

"I_ do_."

He sighed. "Bella, I know you want it, and as much as I want it too, I can't let you."

"But what will happen, when I'm fifty, and you're still seventeen?" I asked. "People will wonder why I'm married to a thirty year younger man."

"That's irrelevant for me, every one else's opinions are completely unimportant when it comes to me and you. I don't care what they think as long as it's about us, Love."

Why did he have to keep pushing away the obvious problems if I were kept human? Why couldn't he realize that I _cared_? I didn't want to be fifty, while Edward continued to remain in his teens. I didn't want to see how he continued to look young and beautiful, while I slowly aged to come closer and closer to the end of my life. A confirmation of that I, _too_, would be young forever would have been nice.

What I wanted was an eternity with Edward. Of course, I knew that it wasn't free; I would never be able to have children, three days of excruciating pain, Jake, Renée and Charlie would unmercifully be ripped away from my life forever and the constant thirst for blood my first years as a newborn. But I was willing to sacrifice all that for Edward, I would be willing to do everything for him. That was why it was so irritating that he all the time would push away my attempts, didn't he know how much I was willing to sacrifice for him?

"You will change me," I told him stubbornly. "Otherwise I'm sure Carlisle would do it for me, if you continue to refuse."

A small furrow appeared between Edward's eyes, and he flinched uncomfortably.

Carlisle was something that I had considered for quite a long time, but frankly, what I wanted most was that _Edward_ would be the one to turn me immortal. I wanted it to be his venom that had turned me into a vampire, because if he would turn me, we would in a way always be connected to each other. I would be a branch growing out of his tree, a petal while he was the flower, I so badly wanted him to be the one who would change me.

"Bella, you have no idea what you're asking for."

"Wrong there, I know _perfectly well_ what I'm asking for," I told him, and bore my gaze deeply into his eyes. I wanted him to understand that I knew what I was asking for; I knew that there would be consequences. But I was prepared to take the risk for him, and it made me sad that he didn't understand what I was giving up for him. He treated the subject as if it wasn't open for negotiating at all. "Edward, I'm willing to give all human experiences up for you, why do you have to be so stubborn about it all? Can't we discuss it just a little bit? Please…" So badly, I wanted him to give in and agree to it, but it wouldn't be free, I needed to persuade him first.

He carefully took my left hand, and studied the beautiful ring on my third finger.

"It suits you," he whispered.

"I think you're escaping the subject here, Edward," I said and reluctantly pulled my hand away from his soft grip. "Me, vampire, ring any bells?" I asked him.

He sighed, and pulled me a bit closer to his chest.

"Just so you know Edward, I don't like the way you're escaping the subject, you don't take it seriously enough. I'm willing to give up _everything_ for you, and you can't even discuss it the tiniest little bit? Please," I said, and looked at his face. "Please, can't we discuss it a little bit? I love you," I added hopefully, hoping that the sentence would soften him up a bit.

He didn't reply. Instead, he ran his hand awkwardly through his hair, and avoided my gaze.

Without any warning at all, he turned to meet my gaze again, and looked at me softly. "I want you to listen to me, Bella," he said and stroked my cheek in a loving gesture. "At the moment, I am not willing to change you. I know you don't believe me, but you simply _don't_ know what you're asking for. If you knew, you would not have talked about this as if it was your last wish. I can understand that you think being like me is tempting, but it's not flawless."

My heart skipped a beat. Had I interpreted his words completely wrong, or was he saying that he _might_ change me, some day. If it was so, all I needed know was a bit of luck and persuading. I hoped that before I fell asleep, Edward would have agreed to change me. The thought made me warm inside, an eternity with Edward. He was wrong – it was _more_ than tempting. I needed it to be able to live happily.

"Edward, just let me become a vampire. Please, it's all I want, all I'll ever want. To be able to be with you forever, you don't know how badly I want it," I told him. "Anything, I'll do anything as long as you'll change me."

"Will you give me time?" he asked hopefully, and my heart sank in my chest.

"Anything but time," I muttered.

"Just a few years, Bella? A few years with me, as a human, please. We'll go to college together, I'm sure you'll love it. Just a few years…"

"_Years_?" I said skeptically. "_Years_?! Not a chance Edward. I'm not going _anywhere_ near twenty. You're seventeen for crying out loud, I'm already older than you!"

"Esme is three years older than Carlisle physically, it's never been a problem for them," he said.

"But we're not Esme and Carlisle," I protested. "We're Edward and Bella."

"True," he answered simply.

"_Please_…" I said softly, and lightly kissed him on the cheek. "_Please_…" I whispered and wrapped my arms around his neck to tilt my forehead against his. "_Please_, Edward." I looked at him so deeply that I thought my eyes would fall out of my head. "_Please_." I kissed him lightly on his mouth, hoping that he would return the kiss.

I wasn't sure if this type of persuasion would work, but, surely, it would have to have an effect on him. If I wasn't mistaken, he loved me, and kissing him had to make him feel at least a _bit_ effected by my pleadings, right?

I continued to beg him, and kissed him three more times on the lips.

He was struggling with himself, that was for sure. It seemed as though one part of him eagerly wanted to return my kisses, to press me tighter to him, while the other one seemed to want to break away from the grip I had around his neck. I was pleased to see that the first one seemed to win.

"All right," he said with a low chuckle, and returned all of my kisses.

The warm feeling of victory spread inside of me, and my heart pounded even faster as Edward pressed me tighter to him.

Finally. I would be with Edward forever. Not just for a lifetime, _forever_. The thought made a shiver of excitement escape down my spine. We would be together forever, as husband and wife. It felt surreal, my happily ever after had finally come, and I wasn't planning on letting it go in the first place.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"After the wedding," he responded before kissing me deeply, and the butterflies in my stomach which appeared the minutes our lips met was this time not only because the fact that Edward was kissing me.

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, but I hope you liked it! Sorry if the double date wasn't in here, but I didn't feel like starting on it. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I was just wondering, do you guys want an epilogue? Tell me, and maybe I'll write one.**

**And wanted to say that my school's starting this Monday, and I won't have time to write as much as I have now. Though I hope that I'll be able to update once a week. Okay, maybe that's how often I update now, but we'll see.**

**Anyway, back to the chapter… Please review and tell me what you think!**

"Why can't you just change me now?" were the first words that escaped through my mouth after my awakening. Edward and I were lying in the same position as before, in each other's arms, and I had not forgotten what he had agreed to the night before.

I was feeling happy today, more than happy. I felt splendid, magnificent, hilarious. It was beyond compare to everything I had felt before. This was real happiness, pure happiness. It was all I asked for. I suspected that my good mood mostly was because of Edward's yes to my eager wish the night before. Too, I was in his arms, and it only made me happier.

It still seemed surreal that I had received a confirmation of that we would be together forever – I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that, finally, nothing would be able to tear us apart. Soon, none of my stupid human needs would be necessary anymore. I longed for the moment when I would wake up to feel that I was no longer fragile human Bella.

And the fact that we were getting married didn't milder my excitement. Though I knew, deep down, that the wedding was everything but close. There were still a million things to do, and we hadn't even started yet. Even though Alice would be the one to organize everything, I doubted that even her ability to fix things fast would be enough. I wanted to get married _now_, in this very moment. I didn't care that we still were lying in my bed, and I didn't care that I was still in my old sweats. I wasn't planning on getting married in a big white fancy dress anyway. It didn't matter. I loved Edward, it was enough to want to marry him _now_.

What I was worried about with the wedding, was Alice demand to do it. Of course, I wouldn't let such a golden opportunity slip between her fingers, but I was anxious to the idea of her making it far more huge, expensive and crowded than necessary. For me, the whole point with the wedding was that I would be united with Edward forever. Everything else faded away. The guests, the cake, or the color of the flowers didn't interest me. Edward was the most important thing.

In that moment, I decided that I needed a thorough talk with Alice about the wedding. And this time, I would have to be stubborn. I was _not_ going to give into her pleadings, not this time. Because this time, I would be mentally prepared. An armor of steel, all her demands wouldn't be able to penetrate my shield.

"Do you know what I feel like doing today?" I asked Edward as I popped myself up on my elbow.

He shook his head. "Tell me."

"I want to get married."

Excitement spread across his face, but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared. "But nothing's ready, Love," he said. "It's impossible," he added with a sigh.

"Nothing's impossible," I protested.

"Have you forgotten entirely that we're meeting Angela today?" he whispered and started playing with my hair.

"Don't you want to get married?" I wondered.

"Was that really a question?"

"I take that as a yes."

He chuckled. "Let's get up," he said and rose.

After I had taken a quick shower, I called Angela, hoping that she would be up.

I couldn't deny that I was looking forward to our gathering, but if I was going to be honest with myself, I didn't look forward to the actual movie. What I wanted was something more social, I had missed spending time with Angela, and I didn't want to waste this opportunity by seeing a movie. I wanted to have fun, I wanted to talk and laugh.

Without knowing it, I reflexively asked Angela on the phone if she would mind us doing something else, and I was surprised when she suggested bowling.

Bowling. I didn't know how long it had been since I had brought up a heavy ball and threw it against a pair of white pins. The offer was tempting though; it was a lot better than going to a theatre.

I agreed, and after I had hung up, I caught myself looking forward to the event far more than necessary. Of course, spending time with anyone else than Edward was pointless, but now that he would be joining us, I had great expectations.

Ben was someone I hadn't spent much time with, I didn't know him very well, but I was sure that he was nice. Otherwise, Angela would never have started to date him. Ben. To be honest, I didn't really know how long they had been together, and I felt guilty. I had been so isolated from all of my friends – or the few ones that I had left – that it felt as though I didn't know them anymore. I couldn't remember the last time I'd shared a long thorough conversation with another person than Alice, Charlie, Jacob or Edward.

I didn't blame it on Edward, I knew better than that. It was everything but Edward's fault, he had wanted to protect me from any possibly harm that would come with him in a package deal if we grew even closer than we had been. Luckily, his mission had failed. It was impossible to describe what I had felt that day when he returned. Relief was the feeling that mostly had crossed my mind. He had finally returned.

"We're going bowling instead," I said after I had hung up.

Edward was sitting on my bed, playing with a pillow.

"I heard that," he replied. "But why didn't you want to go and see a movie?" he wondered.

I decided to be honest with him. "I've been socially isolated for too long, I don't want to be stuck in a dark silent room for two hours. Bowling's better, even though I doubt it's my secret talent."

How long had it actually been since the last time I had been bowling? Probably years… eternities…

Edward shifted his gaze uncomfortably down to the floor. "It's my fault, I'm sorry."

I sighed. "Don't say that!" I protested, and sat down beside him.

"But it is," he said with a weak smile.

"Edward, what's done is done. I knew you didn't want to cause me any harm. Didn't we talk about his last night? Your forgiven, remember?"

"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you, it was the biggest mistake of my life."

It actually felt nice to hear those words. That it had been a terrible mistake, I was glad that he didn't regret coming back to me. But I didn't want to see him like this, in pain for what he had done. It was forgotten now – it didn't matter anymore.

"We're meeting them at five," I told him and changed the subject.

He just nodded, and I left him brooding in my room as I went down to have breakfast.

LATER THAT DAY

"What do you wear when you're going bowling?" I asked Alice after she had entered the house and kicked of her shoes.

In difference with Edward, Alice had been allowed to come and go whenever she liked into our house. It was a lie to say that Charlie wasn't giving any of the Cullens a preferential treatment. Alice was his favorite, and in a way, I was glad she was. On the other hand, I would have liked that Edward had been his favorite too.

"Well, we'll soon find out," Alice replied as we ran up to me room.

Before I had time to intervene, she had unmercifully grabbed the contents of my wardrobe into her small arms, and thrown them, very ungracefully on the floor.

"Er, Alice? What was that good for?" I asked hesitantly, trying hard not to show what I thought about her previous maneuver in my voice as she critically eyed the garments on the floor.

Alice ignored me, and sighed. "Bella, you have absolutely _nothing_ to wear," she said in a subdued voice.

"So? We're going _bowling_, remember? It's not like we're going to a regatta gala or anything," I objected.

"Still, you're in need of an entirely new closet," Alice explained to me.

"'Key, but how about this one?" I suggested and held up a blue top that I actually liked.

Alice looked at me as if I was from Mars. "Are you _insane_? You're _never_ allowed to wear that old thing _ever_ again?" she said and grabbed the shirt from my hand and threw it across the room.

"Hey! I happen to _like_ that!"

Alice smiled. "Oh, Bella, you're too cute!"

Didn't she like my shirt? Personally, I thought that it was one of the nicest I owned, a nice discrete collar and all. I casually strolled across the room to pick my shirt up, and ignored Alice's glances of distaste.

She sighed as I put the shirt on. "Oh, well. I wouldn't have…"

"But remember Alice," I pointed out to her as I scanned my reflection in the mirror, "that I am _not_ you."

She shook her head. "Will you at least let me do your hair?" she begged and took my hairbrush, which was sloppily thrown on my bed.

"Sure," I said and shrugged my shoulders. "As long as you don't make me look as if I'm going to a wedding."

Alice smiled and started combing through my hair. "Remember I've never been human, Bella."

I sighed. "Alice, how many times are you going to use that as an excuse?" I wondered.

"Until you've had enough of it."

"Great," I muttered as she started to braid my hair.

"Talking about the wedding," I started, nervously chewing on my bottom lip. I wasn't sure if this was the best time to tell her about my strict rules concerning the wedding. There would be plenty of other opportunities, right? At least I hoped so. But what if there wouldn't be? What if this would be the last chance of telling her? Maybe if I didn't say anything now, she would assume that I had given her free hands. I could not let that happen.

I awkwardly let my gaze shift to the floor, and nervously clenched my hands to fists, and back again, several times.

"Um, Alice," I started timidly. "I just wanted to tell you I've got some… er – boundaries for you… About doing it I mean. Of course I'll let you, but – er – I want to, you know, clarify some… things?" It came out a lot more wrong than I had pictured it inside my head. And why? Ugh.

Alice shook her head. "Here she goes."

I ignored her. "Well, you're – you're not planning on inviting, well, a lot of people, are you? Because, I just want it small, and very casual, not fancy. And most important, _not_ expensive. Don't waste money on it…"

"Okay, Bella," Alice said, sounding irritated. "First, I know how you want it, I wasn't planning on inviting two thousand people. Second, you do not _waste_ money on a wedding, it's the most important thing in your life! And third, you're going to regret this in a few years, just so you know."

"Except that I'm not going to," I told her. "I'll always want it small."

"Well, anyway, I guess you won't mind helping me out."

"No," I quickly replied. "Not at all."

"I was thinking, you know, in the summer, the end of June maybe… It's such a beautiful time, what do you say?"

"Er – sounds good."

"Great, maybe the thirtieth?"

I nodded.

"Well, that's settled then."

I nodded again numbly.

"Okay, well, you're decent," Alice said and tied an elastic around my braid. "Unless you want to remove those jeans," she said and glanced down at my pants.

"Thank you Alice!" I quickly said and hugged her, not wanting to change my jeans.

"Edward's waiting in the truck."

"Great," I said and gave her a thumbs up. Then I remembered the mess on my floor, and sighed as I looked at it.

Alice smiled. "Never mind, I'll take care of it!"

"Thank you!" I said gratefully, hugged her a second time, and hurried downstairs.

Charlie was sitting in front of the TV, watching some game. What a surprise. He looked up as I ran downstairs, and whistled as I put on my shoes.

"You look good. Alice made that braid?" he said.

"Yeah," I said and grabbed my jacket. "She's still upstairs, probably taking off soon."

Charlie nodded. "Have fun then, make you're old man proud. Kick their asses!"

"Right, as if that was physically possible," I said with a nervous laugh, and opened the door widely.

"See ya, Bells," Charlie said and waved at me, I waved back.

Edward was visible, sitting in the driver's seat of my truck. I didn't want to object to him driving, I just hoped that Charlie wouldn't notice how I opened the door to the passenger's seat…

"Hi," I said happily as I closed the door after me and leaned forward to kiss him.

"Hello," he said with a smile.

There was a local bowling hall in Forks, surprisingly. I had never heard of it, but Edward had. It surprised me; I had never seen Edward as the bowling type. Though he would, without a doubt, be better than Ben, Angela and me together. Edward was good at everything.

Edward pulled in and parked the truck at a small, shabby parking where two other cars where parked in front of a small house wooden house. A worn neon sign was placed just over the entrance. "Bowling" was written in bright pink neon letters over the doors, causing a feeble light to glow over the entrance.

It was twilight, and you could hear how someone was playing music inside the building. A soft, light, voice was murmuring in the tact to a piano comp.

Ben and Angela were standing in front of the building, and waved as they saw us stepping out of the car. Angela ran forward to hug me.

"Hi, Bella!" she said eagerly and pulled away.

"Hi."

"This is going to be so much fun!" she said.

"Hi, Bella," Ben greeted me.

"Hi, Ben."

Together we walked towards the doors, and it gave a low creak as I pulled it open.

Inside, a thick smell of old worn shoes and cigarette smoke met my nostrils. I looked around to see three bowling courts, where one was occupied by three boys in their mid teens.

To my right was a shelf, full of red and blue shows. Bowling shoes. I decided then, that I was _not_ going to wear any of them. Imagine all the people who had put their feet into the worn soles.

"I'm not putting those one," I whispered to Angela.

"You don't have to," she said, and it soothed me.

Edward and Ben went to a small shabby bar a few feet away to book a court, and I insecurely took off my jacket.

"Have you been here before?" I asked Angela.

She nodded. "Yeah, once. With Jessica."

"Jessica bowls?"

Angela shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, not very much."

Bowling was a _lot_ more difficult than it looked. The boys on the court next to us made it look so easy, as if it was nothing. Thought it was not _nothing_, bowling wasn't my strong side, and it probably never would be. I sucked.

Edward, of course, knew how to bowl better than all of us together. And I was always so amazed each time he did a strike. How did he manage to do that?

Angela was better than me, to put it mildly. She managed to do three spares in a row, and I eagerly clapped my hands together as she did a funny dance step in victory.

"Yay!"

Ben was almost as good as Angela on bowling. And thinking about his size, I was impressed. Sometimes it looked as though the big bowling ball would fall out of his hands each time he carried it.

He actually tried to teach me a few times how to bowl properly, but quickly gave up when he saw how futile it was.

Still, when we stepped outside of the building, I had had a really good time. A wide smile was spread across my face, and I was happy.

"Can't we hang out together some other time?" I said as the door shut behind us.

Angela nodded. "Sure I had a blast.

"Me too," I said with a smiled.

Edward drove me home in the truck, he then quietly climbed into my room while I entered the house to greet Charlie.

I feel asleep quickly that night, probably because I was the happiest person in the world. My fiancé was perfect; I had the best friends in the world and a wedding to look forward to.

But it still felt as though some part of me were missing, one piece was gone. The key to making me feel perfect. But what could that be?

My eyes widened as I realized whom I had missed the most this entire time… _Jacob_. I hadn't seen him since that day when we had rescued Charlie, and I hadn't even been thinking about calling him since.

Guilt took a firm steel grip around me, and I suddenly felt bad. Jacob…

**A/N: Okay, I know the bowling act wasn't very long, but it was very boring writing it… Bowling… Sorry if there's any mistakes about the bowling… I never bowl so I wouldn't know. **

**Well, I haven't forgotten Jacob! Next chapter will be in his point of view I think. And then one about fixing the wedding, and then a final one at the wedding. Three more, to sum up.**

**Anyway, I like reviews, so please won't you give me one? ;-)**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** **Well, my writing isn't what it once was, probably because I have a lot less time writing now when school's here. Late days, on top of home works and ballet classes isn't the best thing for your writing…**

**So, here you go! A new fresh chapter, written just for your eyes. Or, well, my eyes too. Haha! Please review!**

JACOB

To say that I didn't miss Bella would be a lie, a big fat lie. I missed her, a lot. It was like an aching hole inside me all the time, and I knew that when I would meet Bella, the hole would quickly heal. But when she left again, the wound would tear me apart again.

I loved Bella. It wasn't strange that it was torture for me to be away from her. Because that was what it was; torture. The worst torture in the world, so painful and excruciating that I was fighting to survive every hour, every minute.

The fact that she was marrying a bloodsucker didn't actually milder the pain either. In fact, it had the opposite effect.

I couldn't believe that she had chosen to spend the rest of her life with him. How could she? Hadn't she even thought about what they ate, how they survived? Okay, okay. Sure, _animals_… But I was pretty sure that that blond one wasn't exactly _only _living on the blood of elks. More the blood of innocent humans.

Ugh. The thought made me want to vomit on the floor. How could you drink human blood? How could you even drink _blood_? It was_ blood_ for crying out loud, not tomato juice! Bella had to know what they ate, right? Or drank maybe was a more proper word.

But I couldn't believe that Bella didn't care about what they were living on. Okay, sure, _love is blind_. But seriously, there had to be _exceptions_! How could you let someone kiss you if you knew that those very teeth had killed God knows how many creatures. It was disgusting. I would _never_ let a vampire kiss me. Not that it would even be physically possible. I would have torn the leech apart before it would have had time to reach for my arms.

It was so hard to picture Bella together with him forever – it disgusted me.

And as I thought about how they were to spend the rest of Bella's life together, I wondered if it was only a matter of time before he would turn Bella into one of his kind to.

I froze as I realized that it had to be true, it was reasonable. Of course it would be what Bella wanted most in the world.

I couldn't imagine Bella as one of them, a filthy bloodsucker. It didn't work. She couldn't become cold and hard, without a heart. I wouldn't her become like them. I would fight for her mortality.

Sighing, I sat down on the couch, leaning my head in my hands, brooding about Bella.

Bella couldn't become one of them, because Bella was Bella. She was warm, clumsy Bella. If she became hard, cold, and unnaturally beautiful, she wouldn't be the same anymore. The love of my life would unmercifully be taken away from me, so suddenly that there would be no time for me to stop it.

Vampire-Bella made me shudder. I was scared to death at the thought of her becoming like them. She would be taken away from me, ripped out from my life with such force I couldn't stop it.

Without me noticing it, a small tear found its way down my cheek. My eyes were watery, and as the first tear started to run, the line became bigger and bigger. The liquid stained my shirt, and I angrily pulled it off.

What was the point in wearing clothes anyway? What was the point in anything if Bella would be gone, forever? I squirmed in my seat, trying hard to not start sobbing. I was going to get through this, with my head held high.

But as soon as Bella would become one of them, everything would be without a point. Life itself would be miserable. Without Bella, there was no point in my existence anymore. I wouldn't be able to live, without knowing that Bella was human and safe somewhere.

There was no point in coming to the wedding either, because I knew that I wouldn't be able to stand there, seeing them exchange rings and words, without ripping the leech in pieces.

Weeks, it was all that we had. Weeks, and then, she would be gone.

My hands clenched into fists as I realized how time was running out. Without being able to control myself I rose, and ran towards the kitchen.

I needed to break something, my rage needed to break in the same way as I would break the kitchen chair.

Acting on impulse, I reached for the nearest chair, holding it up in the air before smashing it into the wooden floor. Every time the fragile legs crashed into the floor, I imagined that it was Edward who I was destroying. Every splinter that fell soundlessly to the floor was a part of Edward.

I growled as the chair crumbled into a million of small pieces, and breathed heavily as I reached for the second one without being able to control myself.

Edward, together with the rest of the Cullens, needed to disappear, forever. They didn't belong in this world – they disgusted me. They didn't deserve a life, the deserved nothing else but to stop existing.

They had transformed Bella into something that actually wasn't her. They had made her the foolish girl in love that she was, and they had planted the idea in her head of becoming immortal.

I cried more as I realized how close it was. Mere weeks, maybe a month or two if I was happy, before Bella's heart would stop beating. My Bella would be lost.

My plan of destroying the second chair was interrupted by Billy coming into the kitchen together with Sue. Billy had spent the afternoon at Sue's, and obviously it was faith for him to walk into the house in the exact moment as I was about to break most of our kitchen furniture.

I looked up to meet their surprised eyes before I ran towards the door, not bothering to close it behind me. Angrily, my pace quickened as the forest appeared in front of my eyes. I would hide there, away from everybody else.

Hoping that there weren't any wolves between the dense trees, I kicked off my clothes to transform with a loud "poff".

There were many reasons for why I liked being in my wolf form. The freedom, for instance. The constant knowledge of that there was nothing stopping you from doing what you wanted anymore. As a werewolf, everything seemed possible, natural, evident.

Of course, there were disadvantages too. It wasn't very nice to have everyone else's thoughts in your head at the same time as you tried to think yourself too. On top of it, it was impossible to have secrets. The entire pack was aware of my violent feelings for Bella, and how I loved her with my entire heart.

The wrath for vampires was something that I wasn't alone with, and at least I had some approval on one point at least.

I still hadn't found someone who I had imprinted on, and for me, it was out of question to find someone else than Bella. Bella was everything – she was ideal beauty. I compared every girl I met with Bella – she was perfect.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle Bella's transformation. Whether I wanted to or not, I would fail in trying to attack her bloodsucking friends.

The ground under me was in a blur, thanks to the speed. Trees passed by me, and I avoided them without even having to think about it; it was like a reflex.

Roots of the dense trees were embellishing the green ground, making it look as though the forest had stood where it was standing for ages. Old secrets were kept hidden in this place, the trees protecting them from every possible intruder.

There was no trail under my feet, but it was everything but a problem. My feet knew where to go, where to run. They knew this forest by heart.

As I ran, the velvet darkness slowly wrapped itself around the forest, making the colors disappear. I didn't know for how long I had been running, and I didn't care. I needed to get away, from Bella, from everything. I wouldn't be able to handle the events that I knew would occur.

What I needed was a plan. A place to run away to, a place to stay in. Somewhere away from here, away from everything and everyone.

But where would I go? Where would I go to find complete loneliness? It wasn't something that existed and lived everywhere. Where could there possibly be a good place for me to stay in? I didn't want something temporary, I needed a place where I could stay – maybe permanently.

It would be impossible to go back if I hadn't calmed down, if I hadn't melted that everything was actually meant to happen. Maybe it would take forever, but for Bella, I needed to run away. I would do it for her, because she was the one thing that mattered the most, she overshadowed everyone. Life itself was pointless if she wasn't happy.

If Bella wanted to be with the bloodsuckers, Bella could be with the bloodsuckers. But then, she would have to accept that her werewolf friend would no longer be able to stay with her too. It was her choice, and no one else could do it for her.

Maybe, I would be able to see her again, when she wouldn't be human anymore. Maybe, I would learn to accept that she didn't want me in any other way as her friend. Maybe, we would meet again, some time in the future.

The thought lit hope inside of me. We would meet, maybe not soon, but we would meet. I would wait a thousand of years for her; I would do anything for her.

As I thought about how relieving it was for me to share my thoughts with no one else but myself, an irritating voice came out of nowhere and pushed my thoughts away.

_Having trouble with the _love_ raisin-boy?_

And it was like the final drop of rainwater in the bucket; everything spilled over.

_Quil, listen to me. If I still hear your voice in three seconds, you're a dead wolf. _

_I'm waiting raisin-boy._

_One… _

_Is it Bella again, huh? Should've guessed, kinda obvious, y'know. You should keep it more to yourself nowadays. Maybe you need it. I mean, Jake, it's obvious you have some _serious_ problems with the ladies. _

_Two…_

_Fine, fine, I'll go away. Just make sure to not fall in love with anyone else while you're away. _

It surprised me how he had given up so easily. I was grateful for it. What I needed was to be alone. No, what I needed was Bella.

You can't always have what you wish for. It was the truth, as horrible an unfair it may be, there's nothing you can do about it. Except for maybe wait, wait for the right time to come. And with that, everything will fall into its proper place.

Just one last look of her, that was all. One last look of her, and then I would hide. As cowardly and stupid it was to run away and hide, I would make it through. After I'd seen Bella. One last look that I would memorize forever.

After one last glimpse, I would disappear from her life. It would be for Bella's best, not for my own.

It surprised me how I could think so unselfishly, that I was willing to give up so much for Bella.

Maybe while I was away, I would find the perfect girl to imprint on, and be able to go back to Forks and see Bella without any violence. It was something worth waiting for – a safe, peaceful reunion. And by that time, Bella wouldn't be the only girl occupying my mind. If I were going back to Forks, I would bring the perfect girl with me, my final decision.

Still, it felt wrong to think that I was going to spend the rest of my life with someone else than Bella. It repelled. I wanted _Bella_ – no one else. No one else could be better for me than Bella was.

I abruptly stopped running, causing the ground under me to look intact. This part of the forest was unfamiliar to me; I had never been there before.

My feet turned, running back to La Push again, to Forks. Forks, where Bella was sleeping, safely and softly in her bed. The bloodsucker would probably be right next to her, but it was worth facing him for getting a last glimpse of the girl I loved. I would treasure the moment forever, and ever.

I ran as fast as my legs managed to, and found that Forks was closer than I had expected.

The entire town stank of leeches, and I almost turned back, wanting to be able to inhale normally again. Fresh air seemed so far away, and yet it was so close. What exactly had the bloodsuckers done her, to make the place smell like a pig's house?

I took the risk to run on the street, knowing that no one was out. And if someone would dare to step out, I would hear it, and turn for the forest again.

Charlie's small house appeared in front of me, and the horrible smell of vampires grew, making it hard to breath. They had been here, and poisoned the air. Maybe they had made sure to surround the house with their smell, so people like me would stay away, and hidden.

Too bad that their evil plan would have to wait today. I needed to see Bella, and before everything would be lost. I would have to handle Edward, but it would be worth it. A last look of Bella would be worth everything.

As I swung myself into Bella's room, with a little help from a tree, the leech was standing in the middle of the room, glaring at me. But I was prepared for him, I had hear him.

"What do you want, _mongrel_," he growled, and took a step forward, as to scare me away. A hideous stank met my nostrils as I climbed into the room. Was there a worse smell?

Ignoring him, I shifted my gaze to the bed, where a sleeping Bella were murmuring silent things, making me want to reach out and touch her.

He growled again as he saw how I watched her, and I held my hands up in a surrendering gesture.

"What do you _want_?" he repeated, not hiding the tone of despise in his voice.

"A 'hello' would've been nice," I complained, not tearing my gaze away from Bella's sleeping form.

"What do you want?" he asked for the third time, and took another step towards me. The stank was horrible, that's why I started breathing through my mouth.

"Gee, I just want to look at her, alright? She's not _yours_."

"She will be," he said triumphantly. "You know, don't you?"

I ignored his question, and took an insecure step towards the bed. He knew that I knew, and only wanted to provoke me – too bad I wouldn't let him.

"You should leave," he said simply.

"Don't wake her."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Please, I just want to look at her," I begged. "I'm leaving after this, I can't handle it."

His gaze softened. "She loves you."

"Not enough to leave you."

He also shifted his gaze to Bella, and sighed happily. "If you leave, you will make her unhappy."

"I know," I said. "But I need to. I just won't be able to handle it when you turn her into a bloodsucker."

He didn't respond. His gaze was still set dreamily on Bella. What he didn't know was how happy he was to have her, a future secured with Bella. I would do anything to be in his clothes, without the thirst for blood though.

I took a few more steps towards the bed, and he didn't stop me this time. At least I was allowed to look at her; it was something.

As I watched her, I was suddenly reminded of how this would be the last time I would see her, for a long time. The thought made my eyes water, and my hand slowly reached out to carefully caress her face. She mumbled something that was impossible to make out, and then moved in her sleep. I quickly drew my hand away. One last time.

"Goodbye, Bella," I whispered before I jumped out from the window.

**A/N: I gotta say, I had a blast writing this chapter. Jacob seriously writes himself, and I love it! Though this chapter was pretty sad and upsetting. I need to start writing more about him. **

**So, the part's like Eclipse, that Jake runs away because he's upset about the marriage, I mean, it's like him. I haven't decided if he's coming back though…**

**As you may have noticed, Edward's pretty hard against Jacob. I know he shouldn't, after all Jake did to Bella, but Edward's still protective over Bella since he left. In my story at least.**

**I'm going to try to update on weekends, Saturdays and Sundays, because that's when I have the most time. No promises though. **

**Anyway, maybe this chapter wasn't very good, and pretty short, but it still is a chapter, right?! REVIEW!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Okay, this is one of the last chapters. There might be two more, but no more than that. The next chapter may be the last. And then I'm going to finish the first chapter of the other story I'm working on, which I'm obviously going to publish. Make sure to put me on Author Alert and check it out when I publish it! **

My eyes felt heavy as rocks as they slowly opened the next morning to find a smiling Edward lying beside them. He was so beautiful, and my hand reached out to stroke his face. Edward smiled wider, and gripped my hand to squeeze it lightly.

Charlie was up when I went down the stairs. He was hovering over a local newspaper, and made a grunting sound as I entered the kitchen. I interpreted it as a "good morning", and greeted him with one to. I was feeling extraordinarily happy today, even though I hadn't forgotten about Jacob. His number would be the first one my fingers would dial after breakfast. It was important for me.

"Alice called," Charlie muttered slowly as I sat down beside him with a plate in my hand.

My eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "When?"

"Couple of hours ago," he said with a yawn. "She woke me up."

"Okay."

That was unexpected. Each time Alice called, she was very thorough with calling on appropriate times, and it was very strange that she had, all of a sudden, decided to break that habit. What could she want that was so important?

"Did she say what it was about?" I asked as I started chewing on the corner of my sandwich.

Charlie shook his head. "No, but she told me to tell you to call her when you were up."

"Hmm… she usually doesn't call that early, right?" I wondered, wanting to confirm my theory of her breaking the habit.

"Yup. Gotta be something important."

I nodded and continued eating under silence.

If I knew Alice right, she had something of value to tell me, something important. I decided to talk to Edward before I called her back. The plan about calling Jake first would simply have to wait. It wasn't what I would have preferred, but I was so sure about the fact that what Alice wanted to tell me was important.

I quickly finished my breakfast, and told Charlie I was going up to my room again. He didn't object. His eyes were still fixed on the front page of the newspaper, and they didn't look up to see me walking out of the room.

Edward was waiting on my bed, holding "Wuthering Heights" in his hands, reading my favorite book so quickly that his eyes were in a blur.

I smiled and sat down beside him.

"How many times have you actually read this book?" he asked and eyed the covers with a raised eyebrow.

"Many."

He smiled and kissed my forehead. "How was breakfast?" he began and put the book away on the bed.

"Good."

"Lovely."

"Alice called," I said. "Early."

A troubled wrinkle appeared on his otherwise smooth forehead. So he also thought there was something important behind Alice's call. I hadn't been totally wrong.

"Why?" he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I was going to ask you. Do you think it's important?"

He paused, and shifted his gaze to something invisible in front of him, obviously thinking deeply. I waited patiently for him to answer, and subconsciously started thinking about Jake again. How was he? I knew he hadn't taken the engagement that well, I'd seen that, and I felt bad for not calling him to see how he felt. Jake was my best friend – I couldn't understand how I'd forgotten to call and talk to him, to see if he was alright.

Edward interrupted my thoughts, and a smug smile appeared on his perfect lips.

"I think I might have a possible idea to why Alice called… I might be wrong… _She_ thinks it's important, but I don't know about you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I wanted to know.

He smiled the crooked smile that made goose bumps raise on my neck. "You'll see," he responded shrewdly.

I sighed – I didn't like surprises, and I was pretty sure that I wouldn't enjoy this one either.

I was right it turned out. After a few minutes of conversation with Edward, a quick shower, and my daily tooth brushing, Alice beat me to calling her. Her pitch was high and full of excitement, and she was very eager to get to the reason for why she called.

"Bella, can you come over?" she asked almost instantly as I lifted the receiver up to my ear. "It's _really_ important. Really, really, _really_ important," she added.

I insecurely glanced at Edward, who was sitting beside me, for advice. He shook his head and smiled slightly, making my heart flutter.

"Er –," I began, unsure if to say yes to her proposal, and still distracted from Edward's beautiful smile. "I… guess I could come…" I said and hesitantly.

Alice didn't let me finish. "Great, see you in ten minutes!"

"Boy, she sounded eager," I said as the phone call ended. "What's this about?"

Edward smiled smugly. "I have my guesses."

I sighed. "And of course you won't tell me," I declared.

"I don't want to spoil the surprise," he defended himself with, "It will make Alice disappointed, don't you think?"

I shrugged my shoulders. Deep down, it felt as though Alice was about to do something that wouldn't be approved by me. A little, tiny feeling gossiped about the fact that I wouldn't like the following hours very much. What Alice had planned was doomed to be disliked by me. You didn't need a psychic to realize that. It was something in her voice that made me convinced.

I was right, it turned out. Very, very, very right. I was _not_ enjoying what Alice had planned for me. It was pure torture, and I couldn't seem to realize why Alice had wanted me to come. She knew I wouldn't enjoy it, and especially since Edward wasn't allowed to come.

"Good," she said as I opened the door to Edward and Alice's house to find that Alice had been waiting in the hallway for me. Obviously wanting to be the person to see me first, so she could smartly snatch me before anybody else would be hovering over me with questions.

I barely got to say "hi" before she quickly dragged me up the stairs to push me inside her and Jasper's bedroom.

She closed the door quickly after her, and thought for a moment.

"Hopefully, they won't smell you," she said thoughtfully and turned the key briskly in the lock, even though both of us knew that it was actually irrelevant.

"So," she said formally and sat down on the white bed, making room for me to sit beside her. "Has Edward spoiled the surprise yet? I knew he would guess what we were going to do."

"Uh…" I said numbly and sat down beside Alice. "No."

Her face broke into a wide smile. "Lovely. I thought he'd told you. Well, let's get to work then," she said and bent down to reach for something under the bed. She dragged a big black plastic box out from under the bed, and effortlessly lifted it up to the bed.

"Let's see," she mumbled to herself and lifted the lid off. The box was full of papers, files, folders, a set of black pens and a few photographs. She grabbed a large folder, and opened it.

"Er, Alice, what's all this about?" I asked hesitantly and leaned forward to get a better look of the contents inside the box.

She sighed, obviously irritated. "Bella, the _wedding_ of course."

I gaped. "All of these stuff are for the wedding?!"

"Of course, what else were you thinking?"

I looked wide-eyed at her, not believing what I was hearing. This was everything I had wished not to come true. Alice had fixed the entire box with things for the wedding, making it far bigger than I wanted. Why couldn't she just listen to me this once? Weren't I allowed to decide the most basic things about my _own_ wedding?

Alice quickly rummaged around in the well-organized box. It made me want to reach out and rip the thing out of her small hands. And I did, maybe I shouldn't have, but I did. I took it away from her, and placed the heavy books in my lap. It weighed a lot, and it was at least two feet long.

"What are you doing?" she asked irritated and folded her arms across her chest.

"Alice, I want you to listen to me," I said and bit my lip nervously. She simply couldn't do this. I knew that I would hurt her, but I _needed_ to give her some clear limits, boundaries. If she was going to be allowed to do our wedding, she would just have to listen to me.

Her gaze darkened as I spoke to her, and I felt a throbbing pain inside my chest. I was hurting her, and I knew that instant that I simply would have to endure it. It was worth a try to make the wedding in a way I liked better.

Without knowing it, I started chewing on my lip again and avoided her gaze.

"Alice – I," I started, staring down at the white carpet on the floor. "Don't – why can't…" I sighed and looked into her penetrating eyes, knowing that I wouldn't be able to do this. "Please," I pleaded, "don't tell me that there's, much, much more than this." My head tilted towards the box. She could do the wedding. She was my best of all friends, and I couldn't take it away from her. I wanted her to be happy, even though it would be the last thing I ever did.

For a moment, her face lit up and seemed to sparkle with excitement, but then, it gradually faded away, as though she was realizing something. Her gaze moved to the floor, and she met my wondering eyes for a second time.

She opened her mouth insecurely to reply, as if she wasn't sure on what to say. Then, she seemed to decide what to tell me. "I'm sorry," she said, sounding as though she actually didn't mean it. "but there is more, a _lot_ more."

My eyes widened in terror, and I watched frozen as Alice pulled out four other boxes from the bed.

"Of course," she said, her eyes fixated on the box, "this is only the beginning. I've stuffed a few things about the ceremony in the closet. This is simply about the details, flowers, accessories, invitations… And the clothes section is something entirely else, I've stuffed a few things that you might want to look at in Edward's closet…"

"Okay, that's enough," I said.

Her warm eyes met mine again, and she smiled apologetically. "Bella, I'm sorry, I just – I couldn't hold myself."

I sighed. "Fine." _We'll see what Edward thinks about this_, I added silently in my mind. Abruptly, I brushed the thought away. It was inexcusable to let such a thing cross my mind – I couldn't think like that. This was Alice's time to shine; I wanted her to be happy, didn't I? It might mean that some things would have to be sacrificed, but it was for Alice, and bearing that in mind, the choice was already made.

Though it still troubled me a bit. To know that this wedding was going to be in the exact way I had tried to prevent was heartbreaking in a way. The thought of how so many people would have their gazes fixated on me was terrifying. I would probably cling onto Edward so much as possible, and he would laugh at me…

The thought reminded me of him, and it got me remembering on how much I missed him. How there was an aching hole in the place were my heart was situated. I was giving up Edward for being with Alice, and it got me thinking. Why wasn't Edward allowed to come?

When I asked Alice, she shook her head.

"Ah, Bella. Don't you know your own fiancé? Imagine his reaction to all this," she explained and looked at the five black boxes in front of her. "He would freak out, and you know it. That's simply the reason for why I didn't let him come. Though I guess he'll find out in one way or another sooner or later. His ability of reading minds does make the whole topic a bit more complicated, what with it having to stay hidden… But oh well, it will work out perfectly," she said and lifted off the lids of the other four boxes. "Very well, let's start."

"With what?" I asked and sat down on the floor next to Alice, surrounded by boxes.

She laughed her angelic laugh, it sounded like music. Like a river with pouring water, a light breeze in the trees. Her light voice was so beautiful, so full of harmony. "With doing a wedding? Are you mentally prepared for what you're about to dive into?"

"Er, what am I supposed to answer to that?"

"Yes of course," she said as if it was obvious.

ONE HOUR LATER

"Okay, Bella, pale white, or chalk white?" Alice asked, holding up two pieces of paper in front of me. She didn't seem to understand that they looked exactly the same.

"Alice, what's the difference, really?" I asked tiredly, leaning down to lie on the white carpet, staring up at the ceiling above.

"Hello!" Alice said and waved a hand in front of my face. "Wake up call! Seriously Bella, we're not even half way to finish what I planned for today, we have no time to waste! Come on! Get up now and decide the color."

Never had I thought how something as simple as wedding planning could be so exhausting. On top of it, I missed Edward. He was the only thing on my mind, well, apart from what color the flowers was going to have. But apart from that, all that was visible in my mind was his perfect form. It ached terribly to know how far away he was, but yet so close…

My head was full, and mostly with completely unnecessary things. The wedding didn't matter one single bit for me. There was only one thing, one person, that mattered, and he overshadowed everything that might be important. I didn't care about anything else than marrying him, to get it all over with so we could be together forever. Las Vegas seemed so tempting at the moment. To make all of Alice's ideas of how my shoes were going to be to disappear was all I wished.

On the other hand, I was aware of Alice's passion for human experiences, and how she appreciated the opportunity I had given her. If it weren't for that, I probably would have left for Vegas as quickly as possible with Edward.

I just wanted to get married. Was it really that hard to fix? I didn't want any of the other things that naturally had to be a part of the wedding. What I wanted was Edward forever, us together.

The main reason for why I wanted the wedding to come was of course that I would be united with Edward forever, but it wasn't the only thing. Immortality was so close, and it was hard to wait, knowing that there soon would come a time where it was possible to live forever with him. The thought made me want to laugh out loud in happiness.

Alice's wish to want to organize the wedding pushed away all possible thoughts about Jake in my head. I had forgotten him totally, and as I realized that, I felt bad. Bad for how he must feel right now, heartbroken and miserable. He probably thought I had forgotten him too.

Why did it all have to be so complicated? Why would Jake and I become natural enemies when I would be a vampire? Why couldn't we just see through that, and let the friendship flow instead?

I knew that Jake's hatred for vampires wouldn't exactly vanish the minute I became one, but I wanted us to find a way to spend time together, even when we would smell disgusting to each other. It wouldn't exactly be pain free to give him up, and I knew that I would miss him every day if we wouldn't be able to spend time together anymore.

I wanted him to know all that, before he went berserk because of my sudden beauty and coldness.

Small drops of rain started to fall slowly onto the roof, making me tired. The constant sound was like a lullaby, a peaceful song. I stood up and went to look out the window, ignoring Alice's strenuous protests, to catch a small quick glimpse of something reddish brown outside.

I quickly turned around to meet Alice's irritated glare.

"Is Edward here?" I asked quickly, penetrating her with my gaze. Or, at least I _tried_ to penetrate her with my gaze.

She sighed heavily and put aside a folder which she was going through, then she nodded. "Yes," she said simply. "He's here."

I gave her an apologizing look before I jerked the door up with a loud sound and rushed down the stairs.

Edward was here. Suddenly, it was the only thing I could think about. My heart sped up at the thought as I flew down the stairs to see my favorite person in the entire world standing a few feet in front of me.

I flew into his open arms, wrapped my arms securely around his waist, and inhaled the familiar smell of the place where I always wanted to be; in his arms.

He lowered his arms around my waist to take my hands in his.

"How have you been?" he wondered.

"Bored to death," I responded while snickering.

Edward smiled a crooked smile. "Oh, really."

"Really," I teased.

We were interrupted by Alice, who appeared out of nowhere.

"Why did you have to come now?" she said sourly to Edward, and put her hands on her hips. "Bella and I were actually _really _busy on planning the wedding…"

"Screw the wedding," I muttered, and received an angry glare from Alice. "_What_?" I defended myself with. "It's not nice to lie."

She ignored me. "You're just distracting her! I need Bella right now, you have to share!" It sounded as though they were kids, fighting over a toy.

"Alice, I know you want to do our wedding, but torture Bella doesn't really involve doing a wedding," Edward explained. Alice gaze darkened as he finished talking, then she turned to me.

"Bella, just so you know, I'm doing you a favor here! In a few years you will thank me for doing such a perfect wedding," she told me.

"Alice," I started hesitantly, paused and gazed up at Edward for support, he was still holding my hands in a gentle grip.

How was I supposed to tell her? It didn't mean anything to me if she would be the one to plan everything. But would it hurt her to say that she could do it by herself? Was she expecting me to help?

"Uh, Alice. I – I don't care what color the napkins are going to have… I – I just want to marry Edward. You can do this without me… I know it will be better if I simply stay out of it…"

Alice didn't react how I thought she would at all. She seemed… relieved. It was as if someone had lifted a stone up from her chest, it was almost as though she had _wanted _me to stay out of it all.

"Oh thank God," she said with a sigh. "I thought I was going to lose it there…"

I opened my mouth in surprise.

"What?" I asked, confused.

Even Edward seemed to be baffled. "Alice?" he asked and raised one eyebrow.

She shrugged her shoulders. "No offense, Bella, but you're a real pain in the ass when it comes to planning wedding. Where's the spirit?" she wondered and looked at me. "I mean, I know you think it's boring, but you don't need to show it that clearly…." She trailed off. "You kind of kill all the good stuff in planning."

"What?" I repeated, astonished. "You mean you're not mad at me?"

She looked at me as though I'd just told her I was going to operate my nose. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"I don't know, maybe you expected me to help…"

She shook her head. "No. I was just asking you to come over to not make _you _disappointed. I'd rather do it all myself, to be honest."

"Woo, that's a relief," I said.

"A great one," she admitted.

"You should've seen the boxes Edward," I told him. "She's got many…"

He chuckled. "I can imagine."

"Seriously, that was really nice to get over with…" I said.

"You bet," she said with a smile.

It felt so good to have worked it all worked out. I didn't need to worry about hurting Alice anymore – it was soothing. One thing was still left on the list though, someone that I rudely had waited to deal with. Jacob was still tattooed in the back of my scull, itching. All the time, there was something bothering me. The constant feeling of that I had forgotten something important.

It surprised me that I had so pungently pushed away Jake from my mind. He usually was one of the very few things on my mind. Jacob didn't need a reminder, because I always remembered him.

Maybe the wedding was making me crazy, maybe I was too dazzled by Edward, maybe Alice's wedding planning had brainwashed me, but none of those excuses were enough. Jacob was my best friend; best friends kept in touch, best friends didn't forget to call each other.

Werewolves and vampires didn't exactly make the subject easier to solve, but we had so far managed to work all that out, right? I knew that it was going to become harder when I would be immortal, inhuman, but it would work out, right? Because it was _Jacob_. He _mattered_. And because of that, everything would be all right. Everything _had_ to become all right.

I suddenly shivered involuntarily. Jake didn't know about how my days as a human were counted. What if he wouldn't accept it? It would be like him. What if he wouldn't want to be with me anymore?

A sudden ache appeared out of nowhere and punched on the place where my heart was situated.

_Jacob_. I missed him. I needed to talk to him. I needed to hear his voice. I needed to tell him how much he meant to me. _Now_. It couldn't wait. _Now_.

"Can I borrow your phone?" I said quickly, changing the subject.

Edward arched one surprised eyebrow at me.

"Jacob," I said slowly, hoping that it wouldn't ruin his mood. "_Please_," I added pleadingly, hoping it would help my chances of speaking with him. I would have to sacrifice a few precious moments with Edward so I could speak with Jacob. Edward wouldn't mind. Hopefully.

He froze, and thought for the split of a second. I saw how the hesitation spread across his face for that moment, as though he knew something I didn't about Jacob. What could that be? "All right," he responded in an expressionless voice.

A smile lit up my face. "Thank you," I said, showing the gratitude I felt in my voice. Edward's puzzled look reappeared on his face. I tried hard to not let it stop me.

He smiled weakly, and I reluctantly let go of his hand to reach the black wireless phone resting on a small table next to us.

I dialed quickly, wanting to speak to him as quickly as possible.

Signals passed… Seconds passed… Heartbeats… Moments… And then, finally, someone bothered to answer. It wasn't the voice I had hoped for.

"_Quil_?" I said surprised.

"I'm here." His voice seemed darker than I had remembered it; he sounded more like a man.

"It's Bella."

"Oh, hi."

"W – Where's Jake?" I wondered, still surprised over the fact that it wasn't Jacob who had picked up the phone.

"Oh." He paused. "He's…" Another pause. "Bella… He's –." He hesitated for a moment. "He's gone. He – he ran away last night…"

I almost dropped the receiver to the ground. _What_? Jake had left. Where? Why? And he hadn't told me, he hadn't bothered to say goodbye. What if he was tired of being the second best, my second choice?

A cold hand swept across my face, making it lifeless and expressionless. The cold hand frightened me, it made me want to curl into a ball in the corner of the room. From the corner of my eye, I could see how Edward stiffened.

Jake was gone? He had left? Why?

At first, I couldn't bring myself to answer. I feared the worst. He didn't want me anymore. A sudden dizziness overwhelmed me – I needed to sit down.

The way Quil had said it… It was as though it was bad news, as though he wasn't coming back. And what if he wasn't coming back? What if?

My knees folded under me, and I slowly sat down on the ground, too afraid and shocked to move.

"Why?" I managed to choke out.

"Er," he started with a nervous laugh. Why did he sound as though what he was going to say was going to hurt me? _Why_? It couldn't hurt me, it wouldn't, right? "He's kinda, upset, if you know what I mean. Just running all the time, away from everybody else…" He laughed nervously again.

"Why?" I asked again persistently.

"He's – upset. About… Your marriage."

_Oh no_. _Please let me be dreaming. Please, please, please say that Jake didn't leave because of me._

"Are you sure?" I asked anxiously.

"Well, yeah," he said hesitantly, weighing the words as he said them out loud. "Though he tries to not think as a human."

"What does that mean?"

"Mainly, he focuses on his instincts only. Food, water, oxygen. He keeps moving all the time, never stays too long in a place." He paused. "Bella, I'm sorry. I know how you must feel, but he's not coming back."

"_What_? _What do you mean he's not coming back?_" I yelled, on the verge of tears. Jacob had left because of me, I needed to get him, tell him that he mattered so much to me. He couldn't do it, run away. He wouldn't do that to me…

_He just did_, a hostile, poisonous, voice said inside my head. I ignored it best as I could.

"Bella – I…"

"Where is he?" I asked furiously and miserably at the same time.

"Alaska? I don't know, it was a couple of hours since I tried to communicate with him…"

"Tell him to come back!" I yelled, and felt a cool hand on my shoulder. I didn't shake it off.

"I've tried," he answered nervously.

"Than try again! He _needs_ to come back. He's supposed to be my best man…"

"It's not only about that. He thinks… He thinks you're becoming like them."

I froze.

"I'm sorry Bella," Quil said in a desperate attempt of trying to soothe me. "I really am."

"It's not enough," I said in a hoarse voice.

"I know," he continued, "but…"

"Tell him to come back," I interrupted.

"I will."

"Bye Quil." My voice was so hoarse it was hard to make out the words.

"Bye Bella…" he said slowly and hesitantly, as though he was considering if those words really were the right ones to say.

I hung up slowly, turned around to face Edward and Alice, and burst into tears.

**A/N: Pretty long chapter, huh? A final drama. I'll probably publish the next one next Saturday. I'll obviously try to update on Saturdays mostly… REVIEW! I always update faster with reviews, :-D! **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I'm pretty sure the next chapter's the final one. Can't believe it's come to an end so fast… Haha… Hm… Nothing more to say! Here's chapter 22! REVIEW!**

"It's going to be fine."

"He'll come back in time for the wedding."

"It's not because of you Bella."

"Of course he's not upset about it!"

"You know he'd never leave you like that."

Empty words. Sweet nothings. Bittersweet lies.

I wanted to believe them – of course I wanted to. Except that it wasn't possible, because I knew what that all those words were untrue. They were just desperate attempts of trying to make me feel better. As if it was possible at all. Nothing was possible anymore, not much mattered. Everything had been so unmercifully ripped out of my hands, and I hadn't been bold enough to take the chance and try to get it back, by simply reaching out my hand to catch the loosing objects.

How could I have been so blind? So pathetically dumb that I had let it all slip away? When every piece in the puzzle seemed to fit perfectly, when the picture was clear and perfect, of course it was natural for it to break. The picture would remain so, because the key piece, the most important one, was missing.

It was impossible to understand, to take it in. First Charlie, and then Jacob. Of course. When the first comes back, the second leaves. It was natural, obvious, meant to be.

Jacob would do what he would do. And that was to simply run away from everything. It was so like him, to leave. At first, I had thought that he would fight for me, that he would try to make me change my mind. But he obviously didn't care enough to do so. Maybe he had lost his interest in me.

But Quil had said perfectly clear that he was upset, because of the wedding, because of the fact that I was to become immortal.

Immortality… It would mean that I would have to give Jacob up. Jacob or Edward. The answer was clear as crystal, but it was easier said than done. I couldn't live without Edward, but a life without Jacob would almost be… empty. There would always be a part of me – a hollow in my chest – that remained empty. The place where Jake would have been, the place where Jake would _be_, if he ever decided to come back.

And how badly I wanted him to. How badly I wanted him to come back to me again. How badly I wanted to hear him laugh, see him smile…

"Bella."

It was almost as though Edward was as upset as I was, he looked as though someone had died when he looked at me. He was so sad, and just because I was sad.

He was so sweet, so caring, so understanding. I didn't protest as he collected me into his arms and carried me to a nearby couch.

"Bella," he repeated, and placed me safely in his lap, creating a cage, a safe bubble, around me with his gentle arms.

I cried silently against his chest, and hoped that he wouldn't be sadder than he already was – it would make me more upset to see him as I was too.

"Bella, he came to you."

I stopped crying. "Wha – what d – do you mean?" I stuttered, not understanding what he meant.

His gaze bore into mine, and he reached out to stroke a strand of hair behind my ear. He sighed. "Don't be sad, love," he whispered.

"What do you mean," I repeated, wondering what it was that he had meant. Had Jacob come to him? When? Where? Why? Jacob wouldn't come to Edward. They were… enemies, at least for Jacob they were.

He shifted his gaze to the floor, and then met my wondering eyes again. "I –," he started and trailed off. "He came to your room, last night."

Slowly, the sentence started to sink in. When it had, questions were the only thing on my mind. Why had Jacob come to my room? Had I been there? Maybe I had been asleep. The thought made me shudder. Jacob had been in my room, and I hadn't known about it. He had come to me, one last time, and I had been stupid enough to be asleep.

Oh Jacob, couldn't you at least have woken me up so I could look at you one last time? Look into those perfect piercing eyes for a last moment… Why hadn't it happened?

"He – he wanted to look at you, one last time," Edward continued. "He told me that he was going to leave."

"Why didn't you stop him?" I breathed, not realizing what had actually happened. Jake had come to my room, to look at me. He wanted to see me. It seemed so good, but at the same time not. He was gone, because of me. I had let it happen, I had let him slip through my fingers. I was so incredibly stupid.

Edward didn't answer at first. It made me impatient. I wanted him to answer; I wanted to know why he hadn't tried to stop Jacob. Was it because of his jealousy? Or the fact that he was afraid of that Jake would come and ruin the wedding, with his anger?

I wanted to know why, he had to have a good reason for letting my best friend run away. Why had Jacob left in the first place? I wished I had been wise enough to understand that it would be a natural reaction of his… It made me miss him worse.

"I tried," he whispered. "Bella, I'm sorry, I was so selfish… I was just so happy for him to leave you that I didn't even do half of the things I should have done to stop him. I'm sorry, love. The jealousy was driving me crazy, knowing that I had a concurrent. Bella, I was egoistic, I'm so sorry, for everything. Please don't hate me, I already hate myself for making you like this…" He stopped talking, and penetrated me with his golden eyes. My thoughts had come to a sudden stop.

He had been jealous, of Jacob. How could Edward have been jealous? I _loved_ him, he was my fiancé, and my feelings for him would never change. Jacob was my best friend, and I would never want anyone else as I wanted Edward. Didn't he understand that?

"Why were you jealous?" Was all I was able to say.

The familiar furrow appeared between his perfect brows; I reached out to smooth out his forehead.

"I love you, I want you forever, there's no need for you to be jealous," I continued.

He opened his mouth to reply, and it took a few moments before he spoke. "Bella, I'm so sorry… It's just… I can't help but to feel insecure, if you're going to choose him over me. I understand if it's what you want, though," he added. "I love you so much, and I was just blinded by my feelings that night. It was foolish of me, I should have done more to stop him."

"Do you know where he was going to go?" I wondered, and my voice broke at the last word.

I couldn't believe that Jake had left me – I had always seen him as my safe harbor, I would never think he'd leave. Of course I was aware of that he wasn't handling my relationship with Edward very well, but I had thought that there would be a time when he would see through that. That our friendship would win over all obstacles. Apparently, I had been wrong.

What if he wouldn't come back, ever? What if that day in La Push where we had saved Charlie had been the last time I'd ever seen him? I refused to believe it. It was too cruel to be true.

The stupid tears started falling down my reddened cheeks again, and Edward gently wiped them away with his thumb. His face was so expressionless, as if he was suffering with me. I didn't want him to be sad – I wanted him happy.

"Bella, I –," Edward tried to say, but I interrupted him.

"It's not your fault."

"Of course it is. I shouldn't have been so stupid, so selfish. Bella, I'm so sorry, I hate seeing you like this."

His words made me cry harder, and I started to hiccup between my violent sobs.

"Do you think he will come in time for the wedding?" I mumbled into Edward's shirt.

He didn't respond, and I immediately knew the answer. I snuggled closer to Edward's shirt and slowly closed my eyes.

Time passed by. Painfully slowly, in the pace of a snail, but it did move. Excruciatingly slow and deliberate, it dragged itself closer and closer to the wedding. Weeks passed by, and they also turned to months. Not one day passed by where I didn't think about Jacob, where he was, how he was feeling, and if he was coming back.

Billy had accepted my frequent phone calls at first, but after a while, he had slowly started to grow tired of it. Now, I suspected he only replied nicely because I was asking how his son was feeling.

Life got back to normal, at least as normal as it could be without Jacob. I went to school with Edward, did my home works, had dinner, and went to sleep. Of course, I was happy and satisfied, but it felt as though a small part of me was missing, the piece that belonged to Jacob.

It was difficult to not show how much I missed him to Edward, I knew that he would be hurt if he found out how upset I was. I didn't want to do that to him, I wanted Edward to be happy. But he did see through me, and did his best to cheer me up. It helped, sometimes. He knew how to distract me; he knew how to dazzle me to madness…

Alice continued to plan our wedding, and I agreed to all of her demands, because I honestly didn't care very much anymore. Of course, there was nothing that would make me not want to marry Edward, but somehow, my feelings for the wedding had been suffocated the day Jake decided to run away. I had been looking forward to see him from the altar, smiling encouragingly to me…

As time passed by, I realized that there was not much that I could do, than to hope. Hope that he would change his mind, and come back to me, in time to see me marry Edward. It probably was futile to have so high hopes, but I wasn't planning on letting them go. Hope was the only thing I had when it came to Jake…

The wedding came closer and closer, and it was as though it still was so far away. I hadn't prepared myself mentally for it at all; the only thing I was aware of was how the sand in the hourglass was running out.

So soon, my mortal days were over. In such a short time, everything would change, come to an end, or create a new beginning. It would be the start of a new life.

I was aware of how the first years as a newborn vampire would be far from easy. The only thing on my mind would probably be the saturated thirst for human blood, and how it would be so hard to allay it.

Still, it would be worth the wait. Everything was worth an eternity with Edward. It was hard to believe that we were actually going to be together of forever, and ever… My paradise, my own heaven. It would all be so perfect that it seemed too surreal to be true.

It would be an understatement to say that Edward was looking forward to get married. I could see it in his eyes every time Alice suggested something, how a tiny silver spark appeared in those golden eyes, lighting up his beautiful face. How the excitement spread across it, and how he couldn't do anything but to smile widely at me. It made my knees weak, and I always trembled when he looked at me like that – it was all too good to be true.

Graduation was knocking loudly on my door, which left me with more home works than I had time for. It made me a little sad to know that I was graduating from high school, and we would all split up, Angela, Ben, Jessica, Mike… I wouldn't see them, ever again. My first years as a newborn vampire would be spent in hiding, without anyone else but Edward and I. I often thought about it before I feel asleep, with Edward next to me. How much my life was going to change in such a short time, how I would have to break free from my old life, to be able to fully live my new.

Renée and Phil came for my graduation. I had told them that it wasn't necessary, that Charlie and I would be fine ourselves, but they refused to listen. I didn't object, it was nice to see them again, especially Renée, it had been such a long time that I had almost forgotten her erratic, loving way.

As their visit came to an end, they also found out about the wedding, maybe a bit too late. I had been so nervous to tell her, since she was obviously holding a grudge for early weddings. But it had all been unnecessary. So unexpectedly, she had calmly accepted the fact that I was marrying Edward, it still confused me.

She had looked at me so softly, so understandingly, that day that I had almost forgotten what I had told her. The reaction couldn't simply belong to her, was what I had thought.

"You're not upset?" I had wondered, wrinkling my brows.

She had simply laughed softly. "Of course not."

"Bu – but you don't like young marriages… You think it's unwise, to not think before… That it will all break after a year… And end in divorce…"

She had shaken her head slowly, and leaned her head towards her shoulder. "But Bella," she had begun, "I can see it, everyone can see it. You two are not like every body else… You're so much more. That boy _love_s you; it's so clear that I'd be a fool if I didn't see it. You must know that. The way he looks at you, Bella." She had paused to smile at me. "It's obvious he'll never want anyone but you."

I had been too shocked to respond.

"But the question is, how you feel about him," she had continued.

"I love him."

"Then that's it," she had said simply. "I fully support your decision."

She had then embraced me, and it had all come rushing over me like a sea wave. _She wasn't upset_. I had silently thanked someone far away for letting all these heavenly things happen to me.

As I thought back to the moment where I had told Renée, I couldn't help but to smile lightly to myself. Everything was turning out perfect. Almost at least, everything was turning out perfectly apart from Jacob.

And I missed him, very much. He was my best of all friends, and there didn't go a day where I didn't thought about him. I often wondered what he was doing at the moment, if he had paused from his running, if he slept, or ate or drank.

It seemed as if everything was reminding me of him. I found so many connections between things and Jacob that it almost scared me a little. Did faith want me to fight more for him, more than I had already done? Was I supposed do anything else, than to call Billy every night and ask for news about him?

When there was one mere week left until the wedding, it all hit me with such force I almost fell to the ground.

Edward and I were getting married, in seven days. I would become a vampire soon afterwards. Jacob still hadn't come back.

Three things that I almost had totally forgotten. On top of it, I had tried to keep in touch with Angela these last days, since I wouldn't ever see her again.

She had been very surprised when I had told her about the wedding, but she seemed to take it well. It was as though everyone saw that Edward and I were far from the regular high school couple. Was it really that obvious? Did we really show our devotion to each other so clearly?

Edward reminded me about the wedding a rainy Friday night, a week before it. We were sitting in the couch, in each other's arms. Charlie still hadn't come home yet.

"I can't believe we're getting married so soon," he whispered softly into my ear.

"I know," I told him, since I had very recently just realized that it was true. Edward and I were getting married.

"I can't wait," he said and kissed the top of my nose.

It confused me, how he looked at me. As if I was the only thing that mattered in the entire world. _Edward_ was the only thing that mattered in the entire world. He was the one I would always want.

"Neither can I," I replied and sighed happily, snuggling closer to Edward's cool chest.

He quickly pulled a blanket on top of me, not wanting me to get too cold.

"Do you think that there's any hope, at all, that he'll come back," I wondered silently, knowing that Edward would know whom I was talking about.

His arms tightened around me, as he thought of a reply. "Bella… You know I don't know anything more than you do," he said, avoiding the real question.

"But what do you _think_?" I said anxiously.

He shifted his gaze to the floor, and then back to my eyes again. A small wrinkle had appeared between his eyes, he looked troubled. I waited patiently for him to answer, and every second that passed, the anxiety grew inside of me.

At last, he answered. "I don't know. Maybe… Bella, you need to understand that he didn't leave because of you."

"Then why did he leave, if it wasn't for me?" I wanted to know. He was lying. Jake had left because of me – everything else was a lie. He had left because I had ruined his happiness, he couldn't see me marrying a vampire.

He hesitated. "It's my fault," he whispered. "Bella, I'm so sorry, I really am. I shouldn't have done this to you – I, I feel terrible."

I silenced him by pressing my lips to his. "When are you going to realize that you can't take the blame for everything?" I asked. "This isn't your fault Edward. Please don't say that it is, it only makes me feel worse. You're not always the guilty one."

"Of course I am," he whispered. "Bella, I'm a monster."

"Why do you have to keep saying that?" I said. "It's not true, you're lying. You're my world, the best person in the entire world, and you're _not_ a monster, far from. Edward, please don't say that."

He looked at me with the same troubled gaze again, and closed his eyes for a moment. "You're too nice to me," he said, still not opening his eyes.

"That's because you're too nice to _me_," I explained. "I love you."

He sighed. "I know. I don't deserve it."

"Of course you do."

He opened his eyes, and smiled weakly. "Is there any chance at all that you'll stop telling me how nice I am? Is there any chance that you'll one day realize that it's not true?"

I shook my head stubbornly. "Not a chance, you'll always be my hero."

He smiled his crooked smile, and kissed my forehead gently. "And you'll always be mine."

His gaze bore into me. I noticed that his eyes had gone from the golden nuance to a more crimson color, and how there were light shades of purple under his eyes.

I gently reached out to stroke the lines under his eyes. He closed his eyes as I did it, and I admired the thick band of black lashes adorning the area around his eyes.

After a moment, his eyes flew open. "Charlie's on his way."

I sighed and pulled away from his perfect arms to rise up from the couch. Edward did the same, and kissed me softly before the door opened.

**A/N: Sorry about the "rush" in the writing with graduation and Renée and stuff, but it had to all fit in one chapter! **

**So, this one's a bit shorter, but I hope you'll survive anyway! Please review!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: I am so so so inhumanly sorry for not updating in such a long time!!! But I think I have a pretty good excuse – I've been to a classtrip, plus school's killing me right now with tests and home works. On top of it, I've got dance and tennis classes every week! I'm so sorry. But I hope this chapter will make it up! It's the longest one I've ever written!**

**This is the last one, sadly. It's been an amazing experience working with "If Bella hadn't jumped", but the adventure has to end some day. **

**Do **_**not**_** forget to put me on Author Alerts to check out my new story that I'll publish as soon as I can after this! **

**REVIEW! For the last time in this story, how sad!**

JACOB

The truth hit me like a rocket in the stomach. It penetrated me with such force that I almost stopped running. Slowly, the realization hit me from behind. An indescribable feeling reached me, and I banned myself for not seeing it earlier – it might be too late now.

What was I doing? This was insane, it was wrong. If Bella was happy, then I was happy. It didn't matter if she would spend the rest of her life with a bloodsucker, as a bloodsucker – she would be happy. It was all that mattered. I loved her, and as long as she was happy, I would be happy too. What was I doing? I should be happy for her, and not ban her from my life. It was pure stupidity.

What day was it? Where they married yet? Would I make it to the wedding?

I came to a halt abruptly, and turned around as effortlessly as I could.

I was a complete fool. How could I be so stupid? _Bella_ mattered, nothing else. Why hadn't I realized it earlier?

Without thinking, I increased my pace and started to run in the other direction. I had nothing to lose – this was it.

_Please tell me I'm not too late…_

BELLA

The rain was smattering loudly on the ceiling, making a peaceful atmosphere hover over the house. Alice was standing behind me, adding the last few pieces of hairpins into my now curly strands of hair.

It was the day. That day. _The_ day. The last day of my old life, and the first day of my new life. So soon, everything would change drastically, from being the best to being even better. Edward and I, together forever. It still seemed too good to be true in my mind – immortal with Edward forever. If someone had told me a year ago, I wouldn't have believed that you were actually able to be as happy as I was.

My stomach was filled with a happy substance, which made me go warm inside and lit up an extreme nervousness. What if I would trip? Or say something? And what about Edward? I hadn't seen him at all that day, how was he? I missed him, very much.

Everything was perfect. Well, apart from the rain. But it didn't matter – it didn't matter at all. Besides, if the sun had been shining, we would have had to move it all inside. After all, humans were coming to the wedding, and it was obvious that it would wake attention if some of the wedding guests started to sparkle in their gowns and tuxedos. The rain was irrelevant. I didn't care if my wedding dress became a bit wet – it was irrelevant too. There was only Edward and I – the rest could fade away.

I glanced anxiously down at the white dress I was wearing. It would be a lie to say that it wasn't beautiful. Alice had done a perfect job – I would be forever grateful to her. On top of it, she had done most of the amazing dress herself, which made it even better. Never before had I rested my eyes on such a beautiful gown, it was utter perfection.

It was made of a very soft, pill white, fabric, and embellished with tiny pearls over the torso. The dress was strapless, and a thin ribbon was marking my waist. A veil, in the exact same nuance as the dress, was carefully placed on my head, it had the same length as the dress.

My eyes watered as I thought about how much effort and care Alice had put into all of this, and I erratically wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Alice," I whispered in her ear.

"Stop that, Bella!" she protested. "You're ruining the dress!"

"Oh," I said and loosed my arms around her.

"You're welcome by the way," she said and smiled. I smiled back.

"It's perfect."

"You regret doubting my skills now, don't you?" she said smugly.

"I never doubted your skills," I explained. "I was just uncertain if you would turn it into something that I wouldn't like."

She shook her head. "Oh, Bella." She shifted her gaze towards the window behind us, and pointed out towards the grey sky. "It's raining."

"I know. I don't care."

"It will all get wet, the flowers, the carpet, your _dress_!"

I smiled sheepishly at her. "I don't care."

She sighed. "Oh very well. It's your wedding."

"I know," I said dreamily, and walked towards the window to stare outside.

I couldn't remember why I had suggested that we'd have the wedding outside, and I definitely remembered not thinking about the rain, that naturally had to fall from the sky the same day as my wedding.

But I didn't mind, not at all. Because none of it mattered, not much mattered anymore. Some rain was not going to make me change my wedding plans; it would have to take more than that.

Silly, silly rain. How could Alice believe that such a thing would make us change plans?

My heart fluttered as I thought what was going to come so soon. _I was getting married_. As if it wasn't enough with that, I was marrying Edward. Edward, the flawless description of the perfect man – or vampire – in the entire world. Nothing could be compared to him, too bad he didn't know it well enough himself.

I grew impatient as I stood staring out the window – Edward _was_ somewhere in the house, and it was killing me. He was so close, and yet, we couldn't meet. A sudden anxiety grew out from the pit of my stomach.

If I knew myself right, I would have at least one embarrassing memory from this day. I was just hoping that it would be a minor mistake, and not something that would be too noticeable.

"This is nothing," I stated, still staring out of the window. "It's just water, not poison."

"Maybe you're right," Alice said from behind me.

I sighed as I thought about the one thing that was missing.

How Jake was, and where he was, was still a mystery. Of course, so many other things overshadowed his absence, but in one way or another, his voice always echoed from time to time in my head. I remembered almost every single thing he'd ever told me, and I would often display the memory of the day in the garage in my head.

In a way, of course I was ashamed of it – I had _kissed_ Jacob – but I would always remember it as a day where the top of the pyramid had been reached. I loved Edward, but he shared a small part of my heart with Jacob, and it would always be like that. Edward was my soul mate, my utter perfection, my dream, my heaven, but Jacob would be Jacob, sweet, kind and caring Jacob.

It made me sad to know that he wouldn't be a part of the wedding. He wouldn't be present on one of the most important days in my life.

I tiredly pushed the thoughts of him away. Futile, it was futile to hope. It would only end in disappointment, which would lead to melancholy. If I didn't let Jake go, it would be hard to make it through this day. I took one last moment to stare at his face in my memory. I chose the one from that cold, dark night on the cliff. How the angry wind had played in his hair, making the long strands blow away from his face. His brown eyes were so soft, tender… I would never forget his eyes that day.

"It'll be okay, right?" I asked Alice and turned away from the window.

She held up a finger in front her, and as many times before, her eyes became fixated on something far away, that was invisible for everyone but her. But this time, she dropped her hand too quickly, and a confused look spread across her face. Her forehead wrinkled, and she slowly opened her eyes.

"I need to talk to Edward…" she said to herself.

"What's wrong? I asked anxiously.

"Nothing," she said quickly. "Renée's here," she exclaimed, changing the subject. Shortly afterwards, the sound of a car engine reached me.

"And what about your vision?" I persisted.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I need to speak with Edward."

I looked at her with a wondering gaze.

"Go down to Renée."

"Where's Edward?" I argued.

"Out, with Jasper and Emmett."

"Where?" I continued to ask.

"Not far from here."

"How do you know that?"

"Bella, please, it's nothing. Don't make Renée wait!" she said.

I folded my arms across my chest. "Alice, what's wrong? What did you see? Why are you so nervous?"

She laughed. "I'm not nervous. Go down to your mother now."

"Tell me first."

Alice sighed and closed her eyes. "Listen to me, Bella. Nothing's wrong, everything's going smoothly. All I need to do at the moment is to exchange a few words with Edward."

"Nothing's wrong right?" I asked as I turned for the door. It was not worth the fight.

"I told you before, nothing's wrong." She shook her head, but before I left the room, I swore I could see a light hint of hesitation in her eyes.

I grabbed the soft fabric of my dress so I could walk effortlessly and ran down the stairs. The sound of an opening door made me quicken my pace.

"_Mom_!" I exclaimed as her familiar face appeared in front of me. Phil came into view shortly afterwards.

Esme smiled next to me as I embraced my mother in a tight hug.

"Bella!" she said happily. She then pulled away, and let her gaze wonder over my dress. "You look amazing," she breathed.

I blushed.

"Phil, isn't she lovely?"

"Phil!" I exclaimed and hugged him too, he laughed.

"Nice to see you again, Bella." He smiled. "And looking this nice," he added, looking at my dress.

"Where did you get this dress, honey?" Renée wondered. She still hadn't let her gaze of off the dress. Her hand lightly touched the soft fabric, and she quickly pulled it back. "It's beautiful."

"I know, Alice made it," I replied.

"_Really_?" she said, obviously admiring her work. "It's so nice, even better than mine was, right Phil? And so soft…" She reached out again to give the dress the lightest touch. "And too bad about the weather, isn't it?" she said and looked out the window. "The sky has really opened up today."

"I know," I agreed.

"You sure you want to get married outdoors?" she wondered.

"Of course, Mom! It's all done; all the things are into place. We can't change it _now_."

"It will be wet," she reminded me.

"It _is_ wet already," I explained.

She shrugged her shoulders and then seemed to realize the other persons in the room, and went to greet Esme and Carlisle. Esme and Renée had become good friends in this rollercoaster, and it made me happy – my families were united.

I watched as Phil and Renée let their gazes fly over the house in admiration and thought about how it would feel to not be able to be near them for such a long time – if I ever was going to see them again after the wedding. The thought made me upset, and a small indication of doubt slowly spread through my anxious body.

Was I really ready to give everything up? Was I willing to sacrifice it all forever? Was I in need of more time?

The answer was solid as a rock – of course I was ready. But that didn't remove the anxiety I felt to give up the people I loved forever.

And Charlie. He was believing, together with all other people I knew, that Edward and I was to attend a college in Canada this fall. Only the Cullens knew it was a lie. We would be hidden, Edward and I, safely hidden from the community of Forks, where I couldn't hurt anyone innocent.

I sighed and quickly pushed the thoughts away. This was my day, and nothing was going to spoil it.

"Do you know if Charlie has left to pick up Mr Weber?" I asked Carlisle as Renée and Phil started to walk around in the house with Esme showing the way.

He smiled. "I think he left a while ago." He paused. "Don't worry, Bella. It will work out fine."

"Thanks," I said.

"Not at all."

"And," I started, pausing to chew on my lip. "Do you know if Alice has left? She said she needed to talk to Edward…"

Carlisle's smile evaporated. "She left a few minutes ago."

"You don't happen to know why?" I wondered.

He shook his head. "I only heard her leave."

"Oh."

"I'm sure it's nothing, Bella," he soothed me with.

"Oh, I know," I lied. In a strange way, I was positive that something had happened.

Carlisle quickly changed the subject, avoiding the topic. "What a weather," he said and looked out the window.

"It's perfect," I defended.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Better than sunlight."

I smiled. "Better than sunlight."

Time passed by excruciatingly slowly. Maybe it was for the fact that I was fully aware of that I was about to marry the man of my dreams – the vampire of my dreams.

Every time I glanced at the clock, I was surprised to see that time had barely moved at all. A few minutes, at max. Everything was moving painfully slowly. And Alice absence, together with Edward's, didn't make me feel better. The anxiety was hovering over me all the time, making me chew my nails more often than usual.

Rosalie helped me, under silence, to fix the rests of my hair. I jumped anxiously in my seat as she braided my curls, and each time I moved too abruptly, she would tighten the grip she had around my strands of hair. I pursed my lips together to not wimp in pain.

The wedding was to start at three, and as time seemed to slow down every minute, the rain didn't. Massive amounts of cold water drained the decorations outside, and the more I looked out the window, the more damage the rain seemed to do. Alice had placed light pink flowers outside, and the petals lost holding from the stems quicker than I thought was possible. There was no tent in the garden, and I realized that it had been a grave mistake to not place one outside.

I had hoped too much, I had expected too much. I had thought that everything would go as it had been planned, and no complications would appear. It was as if I was living in a dream, and reality hadn't crossed my mind.

And then, finally, an hour before the guests was about to arrive, Alice came home. Drained to her bones, with hair as wet as a mermaid, she entered the house. There was a change in the way she moved, she seemed so smug, and she had a mysterious look of kept secrets in her piercing gold eyes.

"Where have you been?" I wondered anxiously as I followed her up the stairs. It was obvious that she didn't like the pace of my steps.

"I've been speaking to Edward, and run some errands," she answered simply.

"_Now_?" I said, doubting that what she said was the entire truth.

"Yes."

"Where's Edward, when will he come?" I wanted to know, eager to see his perfect face again. I missed him. So badly, I wanted to be at his side again.

"He's here." My heart skipped a beat. "But you'll have to wait to see him though," she added. "A groom can never see the bride before the wedding."

"That's bullshit." And I truly thought it was – I hadn't seen Edward for hour. The hole in my chest was growing bigger for every moment we were separated.

She tilted her head to her side. "Maybe."

"But where have you been?" I asked again.

"Bella, now's not the time."

"But I want to know," I said, not giving up.

"I have a lot to do," she said and turned away from me. There was something in her voice – the knowledge of kept secrets. She was being so mysterious; I didn't understand what she could possibly want to stay hidden from me.

I grabbed her arm abruptly from behind before she would disappear in front of me. "Is something wrong?" I wanted to know.

She shook her head. "No. It will be fine, very fine," she said soothingly. The unknown proof of that she knew something that I didn't was still there in her voice.

I sighed in relief. "Good." And then she vanished in front of me.

Slowly, I started strolling in the direction that I knew Phil and Renée was moving towards.

Why couldn't Edward come? I knew he would explain it all to me – he wouldn't be as secretive as Alice. I sighed as I thought about him, how close he was, but yet unreachable. But on the other hand, so soon, we would be united forever. Inseparable. Invincible.

The rain was still pouring down on the ground. Unmercifully, it drained every perfect decoration that Alice had spent time on putting in the right place. As I glanced out of the window next to Alice's room, I wondered if this was it. If this was the whole point in my existence – if this was the thing I had been born to do. I came to the conclusion that it was – nothing I would ever do could possibly be as important as this. Edward was my world, apart from Jacob of course. But it was natural to not get everything – it would be too perfect if I could live in a world where both Edward and Jacob existed, side by side.

I was slightly aware of the presence of somebody behind me, and I flinched in surprise as a cold hand gripped mine from behind.

"_Edward_!" I gasped and turned around to admire his perfect features. He smiled the crooked smile that always made me warm inside, and squeezed my hand in his.

His eyes grew as they eyed me from tip to toe, and his gaze softened immediately. I couldn't believe I could make him like this – it was too good to be true that I had the same effect on him as he one me. He took my other hand in his as he continued to look at me as though I was God's gift to human kind. It made me blush.

"Edward," I repeated happily, and snuggled closer into his chest. I noticed how he was dressed in a black suit, and saw that he was wearing a tuxedo. Unwillingly, I pulled away to look at him properly.

"Hi, love," he said with a smile.

My mouth opened as I stared in admiration at the person in front of me. He was too perfect. The tuxedo suited him so well, too well, and his brown tousled hair had in a few places been combed into place. His eyes were the liquid gold nuance again, and my heart pounded harder in my chest as I stared deeply into them.

"You're just so beautiful," I told him.

"Have you absolutely no idea how _you_ look right now?" he said, obviously not agreeing with my previous statement.

I blushed again. "I was about to ask you the same question."

"I don't think I'll ever be able to make this up to Alice," he whispered. "You're just the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Promise me you'll never change."

The way his eyes were boring into mine – I didn't understand. It was as if _I_ was the beautiful one of us, when it couldn't be more wrong. _Edward_ was more beautiful than anything in this world. I couldn't possibly understand how he could look at me as if I was extraordinary. I was _Bella_, no one else.

He continued to look at me for several other moments, and not once did I tear my gaze away from his. Then I would waste precious time – precious time of watching him. His eyes were full of emotion, and I wondered how I could have ever doubted that he didn't love me. It was so obvious in his gaze.

"Why didn't you come earlier?" I finally said, breaking the pleasant silence.

"I'm wondering the exact thing right now."

I punched him playfully on the arm, knowing that I would be the one who would be hurt if I put too much force in the punch.

"You're kidding," I stated.

"No, I'm not," he explained.

I blushed a third time. It was embarrassing – how I was unable to control my reddening cheeks.

"Isn't it bad luck when a groom sees the bride before the wedding?" I asked, not letting go of his hand.

"I honestly don't care about that right now," he said simply.

"Neither do I," I admitted.

I nervously licked my lips, and my gaze sank again down to his tuxedo.

"You're so beautiful, love," he said, as if he _could_ read my thoughts. He continued to gaze at me with the same expression I couldn't understand – his eyes were full with so much emotion.

"Thanks."

He smiled. "You're welcome."

There was a brief pause between us, in which we took time to stare at each other extra intense. Our last looks of each other as an unmarried couple, soon, we would be so much more, so much better.

"Are you ready?" he wondered, and tore his gaze of off me to look out the window.

"Of course," I began. "And you?"

"I've never been more sure about anything else in my entire life."

His words made my heart flutter in my chest. How could this actually be happening? Edward and I were getting _married_. And Edward _wanted_ to marry me, the thought made me dizzy – it was just too good to be true.

"Too bad about the rain," he said, still gazing out the window.

"It doesn't matter," I told him.

His eyes bore into mine again as he smiled. "You're right." He then seemed to consider what to say, and shifted his gaze to the floor for a short second. I interrupted him before he got to his point.

"What was it that Alice wanted to talk to you about?"

He tilted one eyebrow at me. "How did you know?"

"She told me," I replied.

"Oh, well it was actually what I was going to tell you," he said.

I bit down my lip after his statement. He continued.

"We've got another guest."

"For the wedding?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Oh, okay," I said. "Who is it?"

Edward smiled smugly. "You'll see."

I could feel how a wrinkle formed on my forehead. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come," he said, and took my hand before walking across the room.

My thoughts started to circle as he continued to walk towards the garage. Was there another car that he had gotten to me? I hadn't forgotten about the BMW he had gotten me shortly after graduation – I had stubbornly wanted to walk as much as possible after that.

But I quickly removed the idea from my mind. He wouldn't call a _car_ a guest, not even Rosalie would call a new car a guest, the car collector she was. His grip around my hand tightened gradually as we came closer and closer to the garage by each step.

He seemed nervous, all of a sudden. I couldn't understand why. My brain was drained on ideas, who, or what, could he possibly want to show me?

Edward stiffened in front of the door to the garage, and stopped to look around his shoulder. I smiled encouragingly at him before he opened the door.

I inhaled the familiar smell of leather as the door was opened, and looked around to see that no new car was facing me. What did he want to show me that was in the garage? Why would he lead one of our _wedding guests_ into the garage? It was so unlike him…

And then, a person I had thought was out of reach appeared in front of my eyesight. He was drained in water, obviously from the rain, and was wearing a pair of simple shorts. My eyes started to water as I ran forward to wrap the arms he was holding out in a hug.

"JACOB!" I yelled as I slammed into his chest, boring my face into the warmth of his torso. "Jacob," I repeated. "Jake."

He chuckled lowly. "Hi, Bella."

Was this really happening? I asked myself. Was this a dream? Suddenly, the impossible seemed possible. This was too good to be true. Maybe it was possible to have everything in life. Or maybe I was just the luckiest person in the world.

"Jake," I murmured into his chest, and moved my hands to his arms to see if he actually was _there_, to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Luckily, it turned out I wasn't. The pain that would come with the dream would be too excruciating to take in, and it made me even happier.

Jacob was here. Jacob was real. Jacob had come back.

I was so happy for his return that I didn't think about how Edward might have had a card in this game. Reluctantly, I glanced around my shoulder to see if he was still there. He was.

He was watching the two of us with a sad smile spread across his face. A piercing feeling, which obviously could be interpreted as pain, hit me in the chest. I didn't like to see that expression on his face – he seemed so unhappy.

On the other hand, I was so happy to finally see Jake again, that I for one moment turned my back against Edward to look into Jake's warm eyes.

"You came back," I whispered. The sound of silent steps behind us reminded me of Edward's presence.

"I'm sorry," he replied. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

"You came back," I continued to say happily. It didn't matter now, now that he was here. We could put it all behind, move on. Edward and I, and Jacob. A tear found its way down my cheek as I thought about how utterly perfect it all was now.

"I shouldn't have left Bella," Jake began. "I'm so sorry if I've caused you any pain," I flinched. "you need to know that it wasn't my reason for leaving. I was selfish. I though about myself, and I didn't bother if you would be unhappy without me." More tears ran down my cheeks, and Jacob gently wiped them away with his thumb. "Please forgive me. Now I'm here, with you, whether you like it or not. I support your every choice." He paused. "I love you." Edward's steps stopped, and I thought I heard the sound of a deep breath being taken. Jacob ignored it.

I was too surprised to answer. He would stay now, he wasn't angry with me for being with Edward.

Again, I suspected that this was all a perfect dream, and that I would wake up with Edward at my side who would console me as I realized that Jacob wasn't back.

"Are you sure that you're back?" I wondered in a hoarse voice.

He smiled weakly. "Yes."

I wrapped my arms around him and sighed happily.

"Are you sure I'm not dreaming?" I asked.

He laughed. "You're not dreaming."

"Good," I said.

I pulled away to look in his warm brown eyes, and thought with excitement about how perfect this wedding would be. Everything had fallen into place, all of a sudden. My life could no longer be more perfect. Jacob and Edward. The rivalry between them was gone – in one way at least. There was nothing else I could ask for.

"I'm getting married," I said suddenly in an excited voice. "I'm getting married today Jake!" And as I uttered the words, it all occurred to me. How drastically this would change my life for the better, forever.

I needed to close my eyes for a short second, so I could fully realize what was really happening.

Jacob laughed. "I know."

"Isn't it just perfect?" I wanted to know.

Jake smiled. "Of course it is."

"You're not mad at me anymore?" I asked. A last confirmation of that it all was complete now.

He shook his head. "How could I be mad at you?"

Those words did it. I was so entirely grateful, for everything and everyone who had made just one little effort to make my life as perfect as it was in that moment. I turned around to face Edward, and erratically flung myself into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around me, and there was something thankful in the gesture. As though he had though that I had forgotten about him – how bizarre. I could never forget about Edward. After all, he was my everything, my world, my soul mate.

I kissed softly him on the lips, trying to show how grateful I was in the reunion of our lips. He kissed me hungrily back, and I was the one who had to pull away – I didn't want to hurt Jake now that he was back.

"Thank you," I whispered, clinging into his embrace. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"I haven't done anything," he defended himself with.

"It doesn't matter," I breathed. "You let me meet him again, that's more than I can ever ask for. How am I going to make this up to you?"

"You could start with marrying me," he said playfully.

"You know there's nothing else I'd rather do."

"I sincerely hope that that is true."

"It is," I assured him. "More true than anything else in this world."

"I love you," he said before I pulled away to take Jacob's hand.

"You'll be the best man," I commanded, and he smiled.

"Of course I'll be your best man."

The last hour before the wedding flew away. The minutes seemed like seconds, heartbeats. And then, finally, the time came where I would attend the drained place outside. People were standing under umbrellas and wearing coats, they were desperately trying to protect their dresses and costumes from the unmerciful rain – I wondered if they didn't understand that it was futile.

From the place I was standing inside, gazing out the window, I could make out Phil and Renée, Angela and Jessica, Billy and parts of the wolf pack, Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, Carlisle and Esme… But most important of all, I could see Jacob.

Edward was standing next to Mr. Weber in front of everybody else. His tuxedo was completely drained, but he still looked more beautiful than ever. I did my best to not run forward and fly into his arms. This was important. I couldn't mess it up, not right now. I was so close to succeeding.

Charlie cleared his throat behind me, and I jumped, surprised from his sudden sign of wanting to let me know that he was there.

"I can't believe you're getting married," he said formally, and crooked my arm around his.

"Neither can I."

"Good luck, Bells. With everything. You'll two'll be happy together, I'm positive. I can see it, the way you look at each other. It's obvious to everyone." My eyes started to water at his speech. "I'm sorry I haven't supported you all along, but you need to know that I do now. I know you'll be happy together, and that's all that matters."

"Thanks Dad," I whispered hoarsely. "I love you."

He sighed. "I love you too."

He opened the door slowly, and the minute we stepped outside, a heavy amount of rain fell over us. I could feel how my shoes sank down into the wet ground for every step I took, and concentrated on pretending as if the rain wasn't there.

I didn't see him at first – all the umbrellas were in the way – but when I did, all of a sudden, the people around me disappeared. It was only Edward and I, nobody else. The people around us were fading away. I was only vaguely aware of the presence of anybody else.

It was as though a shining halo surrounded him, it looked as if he was glowing in the thick grey darkness. He was so beautiful. I had to focus very hard on not running towards him. Charlie decided the tempo, and I stubbornly followed, hoping that he wouldn't notice my eagerness too much.

For every step I took, the more the environment around Edward disappeared. Left was only him, so beautifully lightening up the gray area around him.

The way he looked at me, I simply couldn't believe how his eyes were eyeing me. It was as though I was the only one in his eyesight, as he was the only one in mine. I hoped that it was true – I hoped that he loved me half as much as I loved him, because it would be far more than enough.

As Charlie let go of the grip around my arm, I struggled to not run into Edward's arms. Instead, I walked to stand next to him as casually as I could, hoping that no one would notice how I was restraining myself.

And then Mr. Weber started talking. Except that I didn't listen – afterwards, I couldn't recall a single word from his speech. Edward dazzled me so much that I wouldn't notice if the neighbor house had exploded.

One face stood out from the crowd behind me, and it was the happy face of Jacob Black. He was the only one I took time to notice. When he had come, everything had become perfect. I was so grateful for his return – I was so grateful for everything. Utter perfection had been reached, and this time, it was for real. If I had thought that I had been happy before, it was nothing to how I felt in that moment.

Edward's eyes never left mine, and I was grateful to that. It gave me more time to admire his perfect features. Because that was what they were, perfect. More than perfect, if that was even possible. The rain made it a little more difficult to look at him than I would have wanted, but I didn't care. My eyes got used to the falling water, but my eyes never got used to Edward's piercing beauty.

And then, after Mr. Weber's too long speech, Edward said two flawless words that made my heart skip a beat.

"I do."

I hadn't noticed that Mr. Weber had stopped talking, and his sudden words surprised me.

When a silence hovered over the place, I understood that it was my turn. I felt how Jake smiled encouragingly behind me, and sighed in happiness before I uttered the magical words that would unite Edward and I forever.

"I do."

**Final A/N: A little recap; Alice saw nothing in the beginning of the chapter, since Jacob was coming. She wanted to speak to Edward because she suspected that something was about to happen. And the wedding was in the Cullens garden, if it wasn't clear enough. **

**I want to thank every single person who has read, put this story on her/his favorite list, Story Alert, or reviewed this story. You mean the world to me, THANK YOU! The only thing you have to do now is to put me on Author Alert so you can check out my new story when I publish it.**

**I have left this story open for a sequel, because I don't know if I will want to continue with it one day. There is still hope for those of you who don't want this to end!**

**Working with "If Bella hadn't jumped" has been an amazing experience, and I can't believe that I've actually finished it. It felt really nice to make Jacob the good guy in all this too. **

**Again, thank you so much everybody! You're the best! **

**//Blueberry-Pie2**

**Ps. Reviews are still loved!**


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